New funny anxiety quotes

• On the surface: cool as a cucumber. On the inside: squirrel in traffic.

• You’d seriously think I was wanted for murder by the way I react when someone knocks on the door.

• Is it just me, or does anybody else get excited about cancelling plans?

• You know you’re really stressed when you start getting on your own nerves.

• My stress stresses me out to the point where I’m too stressed to deal with my stress.

• I forgot how to panic. Help!

• They should invent a second airport for people who have been in public before.

• We need an app where introverts can pay extroverts to make phone calls for them.

• I didn’t get the part of the brain that lets you relax, just the one that overthinks.

• Career anxiety hitting at random hours of the day.

Top funny anxiety quotes

• “Are we still going?” … An introvert’s attempt to cancel.

• Sorry, I didn’t text back. I don’t like talking to people anymore.

• How am I supposed to relax when there are things?

• We need a word for a type of person who spends all their time working to live in a city so they can be near cool things, but they don’t actually like going out.

• Lowkey terrifying when someone attractive is actually into you, omg.

• My worst fear is looking out my window at night, and someone looking right at me.

• Swimming is so embarrassing, everyone can see you want to be alive.

• My first instinct when I see an animal is to say “hello.” My first instinct when I see a person is to avoid eye contact and hope it goes away.

• Mental state: just googled “When will the sun explode.”

• My problem is, I wanna be the only one at the gym when I go.

Popular funny anxiety quotes

• Googling phone numbers you don’t recognize instead of actually answering the phone.

• “I’m fluent in creating worst-case scenarios in my head.”

• Unfortunately, I’m not nonchalant or mysterious. I’m just a naturally awkward person who becomes talkative once I’m comfortable.

• My family passed down mood swings and anxiety instead of money or houses.

• Social anxiety so bad I wonder if I’m welcome at places I was invited to.

• Any room can be a panic room if you just give me a few minutes.

• Nonchalant men are not for me. I want mine to have a panic attack if we’re not talking.

• Nightmares are so embarrassing. Why is my anxiety working the night shift?

• The younger generation will never know the fear and anxiety of calling your friend’s house, and their parents answer the phone.

• Kinda worried about something. Don’t know what it is yet.

More funny anxiety quotes

• It’s always a huge relief when I’m reading a list of symptoms of a deadly disease, and it says unexplained weight loss.

• Don’t be coming into my house and causing big spikes of cortisol.

• I want to text this person, but I need to have shame and self-respect.

• Please text me back. I’m about to start making stuff up in my head, and the stuff is all bad.

• I’ve got 99 problems. I know this because I wake up in the middle of the night to review each and every one of them in great detail.

• Asking myself if that was too weird after I hit send.

• Before I started my own business, I would suffer from anxiety on Sunday nights. But now that I run my own business, I have anxiety every night.

• Hotel elevators are hell for those of us who are small-talk failures. The guy asked me, “You just get in today too?” and I said, “Well, no,” then stood in silence.

• No one talks about how uncomfortable it is to ask for your own money back.

• I love icebreakers. They really give me time to anxiously reflect on what the most fun fact about me is, while I don’t listen to anyone else at all.

Witty anxiety quotes

• Just once, I’d love to underthink a situation.

• It’s never too early to be sad about having to work the next day.

• Sundays are weird. You want to relax, but your brain’s like, “Shouldn’t you be panicking about something?”

• I love canceling plans. I didn’t want to go in the first place. I just wanted to be invited.

• Next time I feel butterflies, I’m chugging down a bottle of tequila so they drown.

• The next time someone texts me “we need to talk,” I’ll reply, “Yes, we really need to talk,” so that I won’t be the only one stressing.

• My doctor just diagnosed me with anxiety and constipation. Now I’m worried shitless.

• Thinking of starting a club for people who don’t like to leave their house. There are no meetings.

• The night terrors don’t scare me half as much as the day terrors.

• I downloaded a meditation app. Now I’m stressed about missing sessions.

Funny anxiety quotes remind us that while anxiety can be exhausting 😩, it also delivers endless moments of relatable comedy 🤣. Whether it’s panicking over tiny decisions 🎯, obsessing about things you said 10 years ago 😬, or catastrophizing daily inconveniences 🙃, anxiety never fails to keep things interesting. These quotes are perfect for anyone who knows that if you don’t laugh at your anxiety, it’ll definitely laugh at you 🤪. So embrace the spirals, laugh at the drama, and enjoy the comedy of anxious overthinking 😂!