What would boomers do without their paper shredder?

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I got 3 miles in before breakfast. That’s enough driving for the day.

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“Are you single?” No, I’m in a hallucinationship.

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I like to live life dangerously by occasionally sticking my foot out over the edge of the bed at night.

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“Still gangsta” I whisper to myself as I drink my chamomile tea with a heating pad on my back.

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Welcome to adulthood: your chin looks lonely, here’s another one.

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My favorite hobby is withering away.

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Telling your parents about your problems is like adding another problem to your life.

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It’s hard to sleep knowing that Coke is in the fridge.

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I love when my husband says, “correct me if I’m wrong,” like I would pass up that opportunity.

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Y’all liking my posts feels like a little forehead kiss.