Trending Funny Quotes 👇

  • I need someone to convince me into or out of buying a jetski. I can’t keep living in this purgatory.
  • My mother still has some really ugly things from the 90s. My older brother, for example.
  • When the executioner asks me what my final words are, I’m just going to start filibustering.
  • Shampoo companies need to be clearer when they say “repairs damage”. I cancelled my therapy for nothing.
  • Best tips for saving money: lay down and don’t move.
  • Eat whatever you want. If someone calls you fat, eat them too.