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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇳 has shared:

Hobbies include being misunderstood.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has shared:

Trust my gut? The thing that makes weird gurgling noises immediately when a work meeting goes quiet.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has bookmarked:

Why is there so much day left at the end of my energy?

Someone from 🇫🇯 has viewed:

The world would be a better place if mosquitoes sucked fat instead of blood.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has shared:

I’ve found God. It’s my turn to hide now.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has bookmarked:

It must be hard having an erectile dysfunction.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has shared:

Remember when we were young we wanted to stay up for New Year’s? Now we’re old and cursing because we’re staying up past 9:30 and our entire sleep routine is disturbed.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has viewed:

Are cassette tapes considered classical music yet?

Someone from 🇰🇮 has shared:

That fight could’ve been an email.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has copied:

Be the elephant you wish to see in the room.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2132 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,294

Funny Quotes Topics

15,017

Funny Quotes Images

12,294

4 minutes ago

3,457

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via WhatsApp:

Odd people reviewing a dessert: It’s not too sweet which is what I like.

Breaking via Facebook:

Half princess, half menace.

Trending via Reddit:

Doctors don’t really need to hit you with that rubber hammer, it’s just how they release a lil tension through the day.

Just shared via Twitch:

If ever go missing, please only put pictures of me on the news where I look skinny and hot even if that means they won’t find me.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

“Those tattoos will make it harder to get a job!” Okay, well so will my personality.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

I’m at my most math when I solve a problem while creating three new ones.

Going viral on Reddit:

An adult is a person that keeps Ibuprofen in more than one place.

Breaking via Threads:

I want to be cuddled, but I also want to be left alone. Being crazy is hard.

Spreading quickly via Slack:

Toys R Us went out of business because their mascot was a stupid giraffe when it could’ve been a toy dinosaur called the Toysaurus. It was right there man.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

It’s not you. Just the things you say, think, and do.

The toughest part of a diet isn’t watching what you eat. It’s watching what other people eat.

4 months ago

The toughest part of a diet isn’t watching what you eat. It’s watching what other people eat.

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Commentary:
"Embarking on a diet is like being a secret agent in a world full of tempting food spies 🕵️‍♀️🍔🕵️‍♂️! We are all just trying to dodge the sneak attacks of our cravings while pretending to be interested in what our friends are devouring 🤫🍕. Who knew that the real challenge was mastering the art of stealthy side-eyeing at delicious treats? #DietingDilemmas

diet, eat, food, humor, hunger, people, struggle, temptation, tough, watching

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

2 months ago
Share → : Terrible economy to ask a girl what’s wrong.
3 months ago
Share → : I installed a bike rack on my car so my neighbors think I do something else besides drink.
4 months ago
Share → : Conflicts may arise but always remember to be the bitter person.
5 months ago
Share → : Did you know electronics need smoke to work? Once the smoke comes out of them, they stop working.
6 months ago
Share → : Please don’t buy my book on reverse psychology.
5 months ago
Share → : Dear liars, I hope every pair of pants you own are on fire.
5 months ago
Share → : Cheer up! Your biggest mistake is probably still ahead of you.
2 months ago
Share → : Summer body? Folks, I’m cosplaying as a potato that’s seen some things.

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2132 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,294

Funny Quotes Topics

15,017

Funny Quotes Images

12,294

4 minutes ago

3,441

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇬 has copied:

My bathroom mirror after a long party weekend: “Girl, those vitamins can’t help you now.”

Someone from 🇲🇱 has viewed:

Meetings are a wonderful way to help your employees take a break from being productive.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has downloaded:

Hey, boy, are you the worst-case scenario? Because you’re all I think about.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has viewed:

Don’t invite me places. I was cesarean. I didn’t want to come out then and I certainly don’t want to now.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has downloaded:

I like to describe the difference between theory and practice with shopping lists and receipts.

Someone from 🇷🇸 has downloaded:

My son put his dish in the sink so I rushed him to urgent care.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has downloaded:

Going on dates is hard because do I like them or do I just have sooo much fun being me.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has bookmarked:

The only lesson I remember from the pandemic is that you’re only supposed to wash your hands if it’s your birthday.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has copied:

Of course I do cardio. It’s called running from my problems.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has shared:

I hope some dyslexic people don’t mail Satan instead of Santa.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on WeChat:

I love reading a menu. Look at all this stuff I want to eat.

Trending via Threads:

Agriculture can’t possibly be a dying industry. Bot farms are booming.

Just landed via Twitch:

Hey, boy, are you the worst-case scenario? Because you’re all I think about.

Making waves on Snapchat:

We should be able to call in healthy: “I feel amazing today, and I’m not wasting it at work.”

Trending via YouTube:

Burger King implies the existence of an entire burger based feudal system.

Spotted on Messenger:

You told your cat how much you love him, but now it’s morning, the sun is out, you’re sober, and it’s just weird for both of you.

Trending via LinkedIn:

“Follow your heart,” as advice, is sort of like “abandon yourself to cognitive bias.”

Freshly posted on Facebook:

Robot bartender rips me in half after listening to my problems for over an hour.

Making waves on Pinterest:

We put a man on the moon in 1969, and if you elect me to be your president, I promise that we will not stop until every man is on the moon.

Going viral on Slack:

Nice tweets, bro. What medications are you on?

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