Starting tomorrow whatever life throws at me, I’m ducking so it hits someone else.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has shared:

The problem with parental controls is I need my kid to help me figure out how to set them up.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has bookmarked:

My biggest fear about becoming a zombie is all the walking.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has shared:

To all the people who ask singles why they are actually single: Please don’t. We have sworn an oath and are not allowed to tell you the secret of our success.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has shared:

A Twitter swear jar could end world hunger.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has bookmarked:

I have entirely too many new bruises for someone who isn’t getting laid.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has viewed:

I think we all need to go out into an empty field and just scream for about an hour.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has shared:

If you can’t say anything nice, don’t say anything at all: I watched Rebel Moon 2 and the Netflix app worked well. Showed me the entire movie. In color.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has shared:

Tried online dating, and it turns out my soulmate is a Nigerian prince who needs my bank details to escape his kingdom.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has bookmarked:

I wonder if Mary and Joseph hated putting away the Christmas stuff as much as I do.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has shared:

Tweeting shouldn’t cost money but it should flip you on your back like a bug for 15 minutes.