Trending Funny Quotes 👇

  • I am just a man, a man who told a woman to calm down, so I guess this is goodbye.
  • A colon can completely change the meaning of a sentence. For example: Jill ate her friend’s sandwich VS Jill ate her friend’s colon.
  • Sometimes when I’m having a particularly stressful day, I take a pregnancy test to remind myself that at least one thing in my life is still going as planned.
  • Best tips for saving money: lay down and don’t move.
  • If I shook my head at every stupid thing I saw, I’d have permanent whiplash.
  • Since I’ve stayed away from most people, I get on much better with people.