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I’ve never met a cake I didn’t want to fork.

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Special Offer: Save 100% when you don’t buy anything.

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People who think they know everything are a great annoyance to those of us who do.

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My child had pancakes and syrup for breakfast so I guess I’ll be sticking to my furniture for the next week.

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If I had my Pinterest wardrobe, I would be unstoppable.

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When the exam is so hard that you look out the window to appreciate nature.

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If I would’ve known that you were going to ask me what I was thinking, I wouldn’t have been thinking what I was thinking.

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Isn’t it weird that we have one hand that knows how to do everything and then one hand that just sits there like ‘I don’t know how to hold a pencil.’

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I took my kids to the zoo when they were small, I wonder how they are getting on now.

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I had big plans to sleep in today, but my bladder canceled.