Someone from 🇰🇬 has viewed:

I think it’s sad that getting married is one of the only ways to guarantee somebody will be forced to make a speech about how great you are.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has bookmarked:

Preparing for my beach vacation by watching Jaws.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has downloaded:

I finally got 8 hours of sleep. Took me four days, but whatever.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has viewed:

“My reading glasses would look good on your nightstand.” -Me, flirting.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has viewed:

This cop is parked illegally behind me with his lights on. I’m going to say something.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has downloaded:

I don’t hate anyone in particular, I just hate everyone in general.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has copied:

The nice thing about getting older is that you don’t even have to be drunk to fall in the bushes.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has shared:

Cats are smarter than dogs. You can’t get eight cats to pull a sled through snow.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has viewed:

Headed to a wedding but my wife said I’m not allowed to refer to the bride as ‘the veiled threat.’

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All my life lessons were learned by watching people who took my advice.