Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇷 has downloaded:

An entire generation is currently studying for jobs that will not exist.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has bookmarked:

I hate when I finish a show and don’t know what to do with my life.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has shared:

Just found out my asexual friend was only using me for my companionship.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has copied:

“But it’s summer,” is going to be my excuse for everything from now until the end of September.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has shared:

I wonder if this next thunderstorm is thinking of me, too.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has viewed:

90% of the things I worry about never happen. Worrying seems to be working.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has copied:

My morning routine includes 20 minutes of staring at the ceiling thinking about how tired I am and debating if I really need to live today.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has copied:

I grew up in a really small town. The closest thing we had to food delivery was someone egging your house.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has downloaded:

Maybe your dog is barking at my luggage because he doesn’t enjoy his job, officer.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has downloaded:

That awkward shopping moment when someone is standing in front of the items you need and you pretend you’re shopping for something else because they just won’t budge.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,418

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Pinterest:

No one warned me that being an adult was mostly just hurrying up to get somewhere you don’t want to go in the first place.

Live now on WhatsApp:

I just locked eyes with a spider. But instead of killing him I ran away and hid, so he can spend the night stressing about where I am.

Just shared via YouTube:

Thank you for your password, now we are going to text you another password, then put that one in. Click ‘remember this computer’ so we can forget it.

Spotted on Messenger:

My sleeping cycle is completely backwards. In the morning I feel sleepy and at night I can’t fall asleep.

Trending via Slack:

Start each day with a positive thought, like: “I can go back to bed in just 17 short hours.”

Freshly posted on Reddit:

Holding it together with duct tape and sarcasm.

Making waves on Instagram:

I don’t want to sleep like a baby, I want to sleep like a cat. 14 hours, no responsibilities, zero regrets.

Going viral on Threads:

The best thing about living with my parents is being woken up four minutes before my alarm to be told my alarm is about to go off.

Going viral on Twitch:

Turning to the person next to me and saying “thanks for nothing” as I get off the train.

Seen just now on TikTok:

Enjoying the consequences of my actions.

A foghorn but for people who can’t see through their own bullshit.

Witty quote about calling out self-deception with a humorous tone.
Download image ↓

Commentary:
📢🤥 "Introducing the Bullshithorn – perfect for those moments when you need a loud wake-up call to cut through the fog of your own self-deception! Guaranteed to clear the air… and maybe your conscience too!" 😂🌫️

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Keep the laugh going 😂

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

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Social Media Stars ⭐

89 shares on Threads this month:

I don’t want kids, but I do want grandkids. Hoping science finds a way.

84 shares on X this month:

For my next trick, I’ll need a divorce lawyer.

36 shares on X this month:

Handing over my ID at the post office. The clerk said, “You’ve aged quite a bit since this photo was taken.” I said, “Yes, I had it taken just before I joined this queue.”

68 shares on YouTube this month:

There are two types of people at work: Those who work and those who have become pros at looking busy.

95 shares on WeChat this month:

Some nights I stay up hella late just farting.

42 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Welcome to adulthood. Everyone’s tired here.

72 shares on Slack this month:

Three wise men? I highly doubt that.

86 shares on X this month:

Don’t blame the holidays, you were already overweight in August.

50 shares on Pinterest this month:

Distance is my jam; solitude is my peanut butter.

45 shares on WeChat this month:

If people continue to behave so badly, I will donate my organs to an animal shelter.

Trending Topics 📁

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Hot Jokes 💥

9 folks are currently checking 👀

I can’t wait to buy Chanel bags on a random Tuesday for me and my friends.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

Silently hoping for a comet to strike, to get out of today’s responsibilities.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

Lawyers should get walk-up songs in court like how wrestlers do.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

Feeling morally and spiritually adrift without a Sunday HBO show.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

There has been a British voice in my head saying, “Bit sad innit,” for the past few weeks.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

Interviewer: Why do you want to work in customer service? Me: Well, I’m really good at apologizing for things that aren’t my fault.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

It’s so beautiful when two real perverts find each other.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

I keep my eyes in great shape by rolling them constantly.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

Off to my crying appointment (therapy).

23 folks are currently checking 👀

Ramen is just anime spaghetti.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,579

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇱 has bookmarked:

You can tell a lot about someone based on which Spice Girl they were most attracted to.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has bookmarked:

I mean, sex is all right, but have you ever experienced the sheer sensuality of having rock-solid proof that a problem at work was someone else’s fault, even though it really, really looked like it was yours?

Someone from 🇹🇳 has viewed:

I can now tell the hour of the day by which part of my body needs a heating pad.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has bookmarked:

I’m so old, I used to block people by simply holding the door shut.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has bookmarked:

I’m at the age when riding around town, I say, “When did they build that?”

Someone from 🇪🇪 has copied:

I’m a Leo so I just eat the other astrological signs.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has bookmarked:

As someone who lives on earth, rising sea levels are alarming. But as someone who has always wanted to be a mermaid, I’m intrigued.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has viewed:

I hate when you leave your phone on the side, and it brings up that red evil clock.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has shared:

Memories are a bit fuzzy – but regrets? They’re in 8K and Dolby Vision.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has downloaded:

What if they close grocery stores and we have to hunt for our food? I don’t even know where the little gummy bears live.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on WhatsApp:

Turns out I am the autistic one at “movie night,” who thought you’re supposed to actually watch the movie.

Just landed via Threads:

Apparently, all my new nephew wants to do is eat and sleep, which means he’s already a lot like me.

Broadcasted on LinkedIn:

An Amish party in the desert called churning man.

Trending via Telegram:

No offense, fellas, we love compliments, but a compliment from another woman means just a little bit more.

Spotted on Threads:

My life plans are fading like Marty McFly’s family photo.

Making waves on TikTok:

No ChatGPT for me, thanks. I will be asking Liam Gallagher on Twitter.

Broadcasted on X:

I hate lying to my parents but it’s for their own good.

Going viral on Instagram:

“I made this with AI.” Yeah, we can tell.

Going bananas on Facebook:

I love one-pot recipes. So much less mess than when I was trying to cook things without a pot.

Just shared via TikTok:

I think I’ll just sit here and waste oxygen all day.

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