Trendy Funny Quotes

  • Told someone I’m as “single as a pringle and as neato as a dorito” and they blocked me immediately.
  • Women know the exact weight of their children and their age in days. Men just know that little people live with them.
  • Today I bought a doughnut without sprinkles. This diet thing is hard.
  • “Slipping in the shower and trying to hold on to the water jet…” Shall I tell you more about myself?
  • I grew up with six brothers. That’s how I learned to dance: waiting for the bathroom.
  • She didn’t leave you on read, bro. You left her on speechless.