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Commentary:
"Finding a good man may be tough, but finding a babysitter for Friday night? Now that's a true quest worthy of a heroic saga! 🕵️‍♀️🍼 #ParentingStruggles"

babysitter, challenge, dating, Friday, Friday night, good, good man, hard, man, night, night out

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

You know you’re getting old when you have to watch shows that are in English with subtitles.

0

2 months ago

English, getting, know, old, shows, watch
Opposites often not only attract each other, they often also undress each other.

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2 months ago

attract, attraction, humor, opposites, relationship, undress
Rage bait often works on me because I was already angry before I read that.

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2 months ago

anger, angry, bait, before, frustration, humor, i, me, mood, rage, rage bait, reaction, read, works
How am I supposed to relax when there are things?

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3 months ago

am, anxiety, distraction, humor, i, procrastination, relax, stress, things
Fruit and vegetables expire faster when you’re the one paying for them.

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3 months ago

budgeting, expiration, faster, food, food waste, fruit, grocery, humor, money, paying, shopping, vegetable, vegetables, waste
Not just anyone can be cremated. You have to urn it.

0

2 months ago

cremation, death, death joke, humor, joke, just, pun, urn, wordplay

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

94 shares on Discord this month:

If every day is a gift, today is socks.

92 shares on X this month:

I thought my friends in their 60s were making love in the other room but they were just putting on their socks.

41 shares on TikTok this month:

Everyone who got my kids board games for Christmas, when are you coming back to play with them?

87 shares on Discord this month:

Taking my heart off my sleeve, I fold it up neatly and carefully place it back inside my chest.

10 shares on Threads this month:

To whoever has my voodoo doll, please stop making her go to work.

34 shares on Pinterest this month:

There is a giant spider on my dash so I’m going to have to buy a new car now.

83 shares on Pinterest this month:

Shit posting is cheaper than therapy.

10 shares on Snapchat this month:

Have kids so you can fully appreciate how well your dog listens.

64 shares on X this month:

I hate when kids scream in public. You don’t have real problems. It should be me screaming.

48 shares on Instagram this month:

Channeling my inner pretzel to achieve expert-level bad posture.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇳 has viewed:

A quick shoutout to all of the sidewalks out there… Thanks for keeping me off the streets.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has bookmarked:

I’m not “late”, I’m just very creative with my interpretation of “time”.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has bookmarked:

Technology has really helped me waste my time efficiently.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has viewed:

I love my cat, but I hope in her next life she’s reincarnated as the owner of a very whiny cat.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has copied:

Adulting is difficult. One minute you’re proud of yourself, the next minute you feel like you’re not doing enough.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has downloaded:

My doctor just diagnosed me with anxiety and constipation. Now I’m worried shitless.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has downloaded:

I love when my cat sighs at me, like what’s got you stressed out my little freeloading homicidal maniac!?

Someone from 🇵🇾 has viewed:

Don’t tell me about Stockholm Syndrome, I woke up at 6 AM on my first day of vacation wondering how things were going at work.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has viewed:

I wish I could lose weight as easily as I lose my keys, phone, temper, and my mind.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has shared:

I wasn’t made to hustle and bustle. I was made to dilly and dally.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on YouTube:

Girlhood is taking hundreds of pictures only to post one or none at all.

Breaking via Slack:

There are real people living amongst us who pay for Discord Nitro.

Seen just now on Facebook:

You’ll pay good money to hear a comedian say something offensive, but when I say it for free, I’m the bad guy.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

I’m writing a book. I’ve got the page numbers done.

Trending via WhatsApp:

New cinephile technique “method watching” — when you watch a movie and then act and talk like the main character for 2 months.

Spreading quickly via LinkedIn:

“Please feel free to ignore this email!” Way ahead of you, buddy.

Spotted on YouTube:

I can’t work under these festive conditions.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

“It’s not that deep!” Well, I have a shovel and I enjoy digging for meaning.

Just shared via TikTok:

My hair dryer is so powerful that it doubles as my leaf blower.

Just shared via Twitch:

Alexa, tell Roomba to get the spider.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

A good man is hard to find, but a babysitter for Friday night is harder.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

You know you’re getting old when you have to watch shows that are in English with subtitles.

Opposites often not only attract each other, they often also undress each other.

Rage bait often works on me because I was already angry before I read that.

How am I supposed to relax when there are things?

Fruit and vegetables expire faster when you’re the one paying for them.

Not just anyone can be cremated. You have to urn it.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨