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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇹 has copied:

The more you weigh, the harder you are to kidnap. Stay safe, Eat cake.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has bookmarked:

I wish men had sluttier outfit options. Because why am I in a mini skirt, and you’re in a quarter zip?

Someone from 🇦🇩 has shared:

All the world’s a stage, and I always forget my line.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has viewed:

Never wrestle with a pig. You get dirty, and besides, the pig likes it.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has downloaded:

They should build a separate grocery store for people who have actually purchased food before, know how to push a cart, and possess at least an ounce of spatial awareness.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has viewed:

If there are parallel realities, I really hope they’re not as stupid as this one.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has shared:

Too many losers and not enough people telling them they’re losers.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has bookmarked:

I’m so loyal to my music, I’ll hunt down a song I used to love five years back.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has downloaded:

Water is a drink whose flavor is its temperature.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has downloaded:

Yogurts should come in a five-pack, not a four-pack, or make the workweek four days.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

55 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,324

Funny Quotes Topics

17,443

Funny Quotes Images

15,324

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,542

Social Media Log 💫

Breaking via LinkedIn:

Toddlers negotiate like tiny mob bosses: it’s the hard way or the harder way.

Live now on X:

AI is that friend who is always there for you but gives terrible advice.

Making waves on Snapchat:

All my life lessons were learned by watching people who took my advice.

Breaking via WhatsApp:

I love rap beefs, it’s so romantic when two guys sing songs to each other.

Spotted on TikTok:

There are rumors that someone came down the chimney last night. This is preposterous. I would have lost my mind.

Just shared via Snapchat:

But if I get tinted windows, how will people see me flipping them off?

Live now on Snapchat:

If you ever get attacked by a shark, just be a good sport about it and let it eat you. Hey, look on the bright side: It’s a rare occurrence, so you’re special.

Making waves on Facebook:

I’m a kid at heart and a senior citizen at my knees and back.

Going viral on Slack:

I feel for my kids, who had to take in the groceries and put them away today. They may never recover from this traumatic experience.

Seen just now on WeChat:

Dear diary, sorry for only ever talking about myself. How are you? Do you have any hobbies?

A moth flies into your face out of nowhere. You could ask him why he does that, but what would you do with the information?

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A moth flies into your face out of nowhere. You could ask him why he does that, but what would you do with the information?
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Commentary:
🦋 Just when you thought you had all the answers, a moth swoops in to ask the real questions. Maybe it's on a mission to share the secrets of the universe… or it just has terrible depth perception. Either way, I guess we'll never know! 🤷‍♂️

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

89 shares on Snapchat this month:

I’ve got the longest to-do list for today, just need to figure out who is going to do it.

52 shares on TikTok this month:

Females be cheating in healthy relationships, but are faithful in toxic ones.

31 shares on Twitch this month:

“Are we still going?” … An introvert’s attempt to cancel.

84 shares on Instagram this month:

Three drinks in and that skateboard outside is looking rideable.

27 shares on Reddit this month:

Sometimes I do something completely out of character, like say no to a slice of pizza, or trust someone.

28 shares on Discord this month:

Autocorrect changed ‘are you around?’ to ‘are you aroused?’ and my buddy didn’t want to hang out today.

36 shares on Discord this month:

I’m not climbing a hill if I’m dying. That sounds terrible. I’ll die on this chair. Drinking orange Fanta.

91 shares on WhatsApp this month:

He said he thinks I’m resilient to everything, so I thanked him, but on second thought, he may have low key called me a cockroach.

58 shares on Telegram this month:

It’s just a matter of time until they add “syndrome” after my name.

62 shares on YouTube this month:

“It’s been a long week!” Me, on a Tuesday.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

19 folks are currently checking 👀

Do goalies ever get lonely during a game?

5 folks are currently checking 👀

A chocolate advent calendar is a test of restraint that I simply do not have.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

Mambo No. 5, but it’s in a minor key, and I’m naming women who didn’t text me back.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

Dating someone from Twitter is like choosing your spouse from a mental hospital.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

My problem is, I wanna be the only one at the gym when I go.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

Hate it when I pull out a winter coat and there’s no money stashed in it.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

Sitting next to you on an empty train and clicking my stopwatch every time you turn a page in your book.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

You are depressed because your ancestors fought, danced, and ate meals together, and you eat alone in the dark while staring at a glowing rectangle.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

I changed my alarm clock sound to an applause, it’s the least I deserve for waking up at 7am.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

If you smoke pot in Saudi Arabia, you risk getting stoned.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

55 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,324

Funny Quotes Topics

17,443

Funny Quotes Images

15,324

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,717

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇯 has downloaded:

Don’t tell me about Stockholm Syndrome, I woke up at 6 AM on my first day of vacation wondering how things were going at work.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has downloaded:

That’s kind of sexy of you to be a little weird.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has copied:

90% of parenting is wondering when you can lie down again.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has bookmarked:

If you are sad, just sing and you will realize that your voice is worse than your problem.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has shared:

The only narcissist I allow in my life is my cat.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has copied:

Dating again after you break up with a long-term partner is like dying in a video game and ending up back at the start to do it all again, except with less health.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has viewed:

How can I be expected to get out of bed when I don’t want to?

Someone from 🇺🇾 has shared:

Have kids so you can say things you never thought you would like “please don’t vacuum your sister”

Someone from 🇦🇸 has downloaded:

My savings account has been empty for so long that a Spirit Halloween just opened up inside it.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has downloaded:

We all have that person who insists on using a blanket on the couch, no matter the weather.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via WhatsApp:

Any room can be an escape room when you have diarrhea.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

Twitter is the most fun you can have on the toilet.

Shared recently on Reddit:

Bad news. Right now is as young as you’re going to be.

Spotted on Pinterest:

Oh, that gap on my resume is from when I was the architect of my own hell.

Just shared via X:

Declined stepping on the scale at the doctor’s office because no one needs that kind of negativity in her life.

Spreading quickly via Reddit:

“I asked Grok. I asked ChatGPT.” Yeah, well, I asked my mom. She said no.

Freshly posted on Discord:

No president next term. America needs to be single for a while to focus on herself.

Just landed via Discord:

The sexual tension between me and the person I’m not supposed to have any sexual tension with.

Seen just now on Twitch:

I’m the Usain Bolt of running late.

Just shared via Pinterest:

I’m just a girl, standing in front of a Monday, asking it to be a Friday.

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