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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log โœจ

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ธ๐Ÿ‡ฒ has viewed:

Quitting my job to focus on being in love.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฌ๐Ÿ‡ณ has downloaded:

I hope this is the year my teen learns how to turn off a light when she leaves a room.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ญ๐Ÿ‡ท has shared:

Of course I have critical thinking skills, I’m thinking critically of you right now.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฒ๐Ÿ‡ฐ has bookmarked:

I would never put up a lost dog poster. I’m not letting the whole neighborhood know I fumbled.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ง๐Ÿ‡ณ has viewed:

One day I will start learning from my mistakes. Today is not that day. Tomorrow isnโ€™t looking so good either.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ณ๐Ÿ‡ฆ has bookmarked:

They probably killed the first few people whose eyes turned red in a photograph before they realized it wasnโ€™t any demon stuff.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ญ๐Ÿ‡ท has copied:

Eat like your treadmill is watching.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ธ๐Ÿ‡ท has copied:

Accidentally made eye contact with the sweets at the grocery store and now have to declare bankruptcy.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฐ๐Ÿ‡ฒ has copied:

So cool that avocados come with those little wooden balls inside, I think I have collected the whole set.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฆ๐Ÿ‡ฒ has shared:

Home is where you’ve left the shopping list.

Funny Quotes Data ๐Ÿค“

New Funny Quotes

790 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,952

Funny Quotes Topics

13,923

Funny Quotes Images

10,952

Updated

31 minutes ago

Users Online

3,431

Social Media Log ๐Ÿ’ซ

Making waves on WhatsApp:

I live in constant fear of being asked to repeat what you just said after I say I’m listening.

Making waves on Threads:

Oh you won a gold medal at the Olympics? My watch just congratulated me for standing up.

Spreading quickly via Threads:

โ€œJust circling back on this.โ€ – โ€œTake another lap.โ€

Seen just now on Messenger:

Itโ€™s so cool when people who write for a living admit that they donโ€™t read books or have thoughts.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

Do we barbecue with women or without salad?

Spotted on Telegram:

Iโ€™m going to bed, everyone. Try to keep it down.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

Sex is so embarrassing. Like, why did I want to do that to you?

Trending via LinkedIn:

I get sad whenever they’re mean to Zoidberg in Futurama.

Broadcasted on LinkedIn:

Imagine hating on me and Iโ€™m just sitting there in the corner, in the spotlight, losing my religion.

Just shared via Pinterest:

Tried to be a responsible adult today. Wonโ€™t be doing that again.

A mustache is just mouth bangs.

A mustache is just mouth bangs.
Download image โ†“

Commentary:
"Who needs bangs when you can rock a fierce mustache instead? ๐Ÿ’โ€โ™‚๏ธ๐Ÿ‘จโ€๐Ÿฆฐ It's like a party happening right above your lip! ๐Ÿ˜‚ #MustacheGoals"

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Welcome to Wordgag! ๐Ÿ˜‰โœŒ๏ธ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ’ฅ

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activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media need people procrastination relationship sarcasm social someone technology time want work

Funny Quotes Data ๐Ÿค“

New Funny Quotes

790 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,952

Funny Quotes Topics

13,923

Funny Quotes Images

10,952

Updated

31 minutes ago

Users Online

3,439

Funny Quotes of the Month ๐Ÿš€

Funny Quotes of the Year โญ

Activity Log โœจ

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ง๐Ÿ‡ฎ has viewed:

Two people had sex and now I’m fighting for my life everyday.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ณ๐Ÿ‡ช has shared:

Yeah, Iโ€™ll get up soon, I just need to look at the internet first. Yes, the whole thing.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ง๐Ÿ‡ท has viewed:

Why is it called the Super Bowl if no one is bowling?

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฉ๐Ÿ‡ฏ has bookmarked:

Took a personality test and the results just said โ€œuh-ohโ€

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ง๐Ÿ‡ฎ has bookmarked:

People are too casual about the fact that parrots can talk.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ช๐Ÿ‡ท has bookmarked:

Offering someone food, and secretly hoping, they donโ€™t want it.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฒ๐Ÿ‡ฝ has viewed:

I will never stop being a quitter!

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ง๐Ÿ‡น has copied:

Maybe if we all sit extremely still, Monday won’t be able to see us.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฎ๐Ÿ‡ฑ has downloaded:

Jesus died for your sins. If you donโ€™t sin then he died for nothing!

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ป๐Ÿ‡ช has viewed:

I’m not joining no alternate Twitter app. If this gets taken down, I’m starting a family.

Social Media Log ๐Ÿ’ซ

Trending via Reddit:

My brain cells, skin cells and hair cells continue to die, but my fat cells seem to have an eternal life.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

Narcissus fell in love with his own image, but was immediately annoyed at how it always tried to talk while he was talking.

Trending via Instagram:

Nearly choked on a carrot. A donut would never do that to me.

Just landed via TikTok:

Why would anyone ever jump OUT of a cake?

Broadcasted on Telegram:

I hate when my kids ask me impossible questions like: What day is it?

Just shared via Messenger:

They say water is the source of life, which is true because you can’t make coffee without water.

Trending via Threads:

At my funeral, sit me up so I can see whoโ€™s talking to my man.

Making waves on Instagram:

There should be a tented fingers emoji. For when youโ€™re feeling ruminative.

Trending via YouTube:

Iโ€™m feeling very anxious. I think this 7th mug of coffee will take the edge off.

Seen just now on Slack:

New COVID variant tries to sell you an extended auto warranty.

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