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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇶 has downloaded:

Eating Chinese takeout is never as depressing as in the movies. It usually is good.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has downloaded:

“Lmao” has survived and even thrived over the years, but its cousin “rofl” has faded into indignity. The cruelty of fate.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has shared:

Yes, I am super annoying, but don’t worry, it’s just permanent.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has downloaded:

Due to personal reasons, I’ll be getting stronger every day.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has bookmarked:

There is nothing worse in life than calling customer service and hearing an Indian accent.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has bookmarked:

I hate when someone you love says mean things like, “It’s time to wake up.”

Someone from 🇹🇬 has shared:

When you meet twins, demand to speak with the one in charge.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has shared:

No one told me adulthood would require this much multi-factor authentication.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has copied:

“Can you explain the gap in your resume?” I went missing in a national park.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has copied:

Aren’t you a little old to be a bully?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,696

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Twitch:

Babe, are you okay? You haven’t touched your dark humor all day.

Shared recently on Telegram:

Every time I ask my husband to bring me something out of my purse, without a doubt, he’ll bring me my whole purse. Why are purses so scary to men, lol.

Going viral on WeChat:

Seeking a date so intense even the candles are sweating.

Just shared via Snapchat:

Sorry, boss, I can’t come in to work today, I’m gonna be playing outside.

Going bananas on TikTok:

Hey there, Delilah, we know you broke that dude’s heart.

Seen just now on WeChat:

90% of the things I worry about never happen. Worrying seems to be working.

Live now on Threads:

I successfully avoided the red-eye flight and got the much milder pink eye flight.

Shared recently on Threads:

I cannot definitively say, even after all I’ve seen, that I would not visit Jurassic Park.

Going bananas on Reddit:

Skin coloured leggings should be illegal.

Trending via WhatsApp:

Everybody looks sexier when they are happy.

A relationship is like a shark, it looks better on TV.

0
A relationship is like a shark, it looks better on TV.
Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Ah, the majestic relationship, just like a shark – impressive from a distance, but up close, you realize it's not all smooth sailing and dreamy music playing in the background. So, maybe it's best to enjoy your relationships like you do with sharks – from a safe distance and through the lens of a screen!"

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Social Media Stars ⭐

99 shares on Facebook this month:

How do you know I’m not just a figment of your imagination?

31 shares on Instagram this month:

Is it okay for me to start drinking as soon as the kids are at school, or am I just a terrible teacher?

73 shares on Pinterest this month:

Once you realize that no one really cares how you’re doing, it becomes much easier to answer the question.

52 shares on X this month:

What’s the best job for someone who cries very easily and cannot handle any criticism?

55 shares on TikTok this month:

In English we say: “You changed.” But in poetry we say: “You became a stranger wearing the face I used to love, and I am haunted by the ghost of who you were.”

13 shares on TikTok this month:

Does anyone know if there’s a career in being a piece of shit?

58 shares on Messenger this month:

Rest here, weary doom-scroller, you’ve seen enough bullshit for one day.

55 shares on Slack this month:

Does anyone else stare at the dead body in movies to see if you can catch them breathing?

37 shares on YouTube this month:

I wish berries were the size of apples. Just imagine for a second.

44 shares on Twitch this month:

I don’t need the audio tour at the museum, I have my teen to provide critical commentary the entire time.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

23 folks are currently checking 👀

Rather than work on my issues, I’m counting on my personality getting changed by a falling coconut.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

I am a person who wants to get a lot done, trapped in the body of a person who wants to sleep in and take naps at times.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

If you can’t handle me at my worst just imagine how I feel.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

The most difficult thing you’ll do as a parent is not rearrange the ornaments after the kids put them on the tree.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Your Starbucks order leads me to believe that you’re very difficult to deal with.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m not lazy, I’m on energy-saving mode.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

They should invent health insurance that insures your health.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

‘You’re going to die alone!’ Okay, when did dying become a group project?

22 folks are currently checking 👀

It’s not that I want more shoes, it’s just that they keep making them in my size.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

It really is Monday every 15 minutes.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,412

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇭 has downloaded:

Forget all this adulting stuff, let’s bring back Saturday morning cartoons.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has viewed:

I’m not speaking to my husband, and I don’t think he even knows it.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has shared:

Cats are the best authoritarians. You will do their bidding, and you will like it.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has copied:

My hobbies include going home, wishing I was at home, and being at home.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has shared:

In the future, there will be grandmas who can’t bake but have tattoos on their backs.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has copied:

Oh, that gap on my resume is from when I was the architect of my own hell.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has viewed:

I don’t call them exes, I call them whys.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has shared:

Living with a dog is 90% following each other around, watching each other go potty, and wondering what the other has in their mouth.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has viewed:

There should be an Amazon driver at the Mall during the holidays so adults can sit on their lap and tell them what they want.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has viewed:

Whitening my teeth by getting a tan.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Discord:

Parents may forget many things, but they never forget who brought the noisy toys into the house.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

Unlike the brain, the stomach alerts you when it’s empty.

Going viral on Reddit:

You had me at “We’ll make it look like an accident.”

Going viral on Threads:

I have no need to judge people because of their religion, skin color or sexual orientation. Bad behavior is enough for me.

Seen just now on Discord:

I think Bigfoot had it right, stay in hiding from all the shitty human beings.

Broadcasted on Reddit:

Just did my own taxes, I should be in jail by Friday.

Trending via Pinterest:

Are oranges called oranges because they are orange, or is the color orange called orange because an orange is orange?

Seen just now on Snapchat:

God, is there anything worse than when someone wants to show you a video?

Seen just now on Threads:

I had a hard time coping with the divorce. I’m fine now, but at first I was almost crazy with joy.

Trending via WeChat:

They said don’t try this at home, so I’m coming over to your place.

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