Trendy Funny Quotes

  • The police sent me a photo radar ticket so I sent them a photo of a hundred dollars, so I guess we’re even.
  • I hate having a messy house. Not enough to actually clean it, but enough to give it a disgusted stare while I peacefully relax on the couch.
  • When you say “You’re going to hate me for this,” you’re making a very large assumption that I don’t hate you already.
  • I need to stop drinking so much. Did I say drinking? I meant thinking. I definitely need to drink more.
  • The audacity of someone being in the store aisle I want to go down.
  • Don’t blame the holidays, you were already overweight in August.