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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇹 has downloaded:

That moment when a zombie out for brains walks past you.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has viewed:

Sorry I didn’t get you an anniversary card, babe, but you opted in to paperless affection on our third date.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has downloaded:

Yeah, I can explain that gap on my resume, I tried to move a picture in Word.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has bookmarked:

According to a study, people believe anything that starts with ‘according to a study’.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has shared:

I wouldn’t describe myself as an “adult”, per se. More like a “long child”.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has shared:

This book ain’t got no pictures.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has shared:

I’m at a point in life where I’m just at a point.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has downloaded:

Just because it’s a bad idea doesn’t mean that it ain’t gonna be a hell of a lot of fun.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has viewed:

Me drinking green tea: this is going to fix everything.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has viewed:

Have you ever accidentally opened your front-facing camera, and it ruined your day a little?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

629 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,222

Funny Quotes Topics

17,352

Funny Quotes Images

15,222

Updated

Dec 30, 2025

Users Online

3,714

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on WeChat:

Excuse me sir, are you going to finish that existential crisis?

Spotted on TikTok:

Don’t ring my doorbell unless you’re accompanied by a camera crew and holding balloons and a big check.

Just shared via Pinterest:

Dear resealable chocolate bag, your confidence in my self-control was truly inspiring. And you were delicious.

Going bananas on Reddit:

The police said I was a ‘suspect’, but I prefer being called a ‘person of interest’.

Just shared via YouTube:

Some people get a bit strange as they get older. Not me. I’ve always been like that!

Just landed via YouTube:

Earth is hard.

Going viral on X:

Making fun of bands that only play 3 chords when I don’t even know what a chord is.

Just shared via LinkedIn:

Have y’all tried calories? They’re so good.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

I’m old enough to remember when rainbows were in black and white.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

Now I know why my dad used to wake up at 4AM and just sit at the kitchen table for an hour.

A web developer and an SEO expert walk into a bar, bars, nightclub, pubs, tavern, beer, alcohol, drinks, alcoholic beverages, bars in my area, places to drink.

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A web developer and an SEO expert walk into a bar, bars, nightclub, pubs, tavern, beer, alcohol, drinks, alcoholic beverages, bars in my area, places to drink.
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Commentary:
Looks like the web developer is keen on expanding their search query optimization skills everywhere they go! 🕵️‍♂️🔍 Meanwhile, the SEO expert is probably already eyeing up the bar's meta tags and keyword density for a potential improvement project. 🍻💻 Cheers to a night of optimizing and imbibing in equal measure! 🍹💻🚀

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

53 shares on X this month:

My Wi-Fi is stronger than my will to socialize.

37 shares on Messenger this month:

God, I wish I had enough money to discover it doesn’t make me happy.

32 shares on Threads this month:

People just don’t stop, collaborate, and listen like they used to.

98 shares on Telegram this month:

If you see this, straighten your back, you banana-shaped mess.

35 shares on Facebook this month:

“Your boos mean nothing to me. I’ve seen what you cheer.” Is a goated doctrine. If Rick and Morty gave us anything, it gave us that.

48 shares on Discord this month:

Meetings are great because who doesn’t like being held hostage?

10 shares on Reddit this month:

It ain’t easy being America’s sweetheart during these dark times, but someone gotta do it!

44 shares on Threads this month:

The worst part about being an adult is that no matter how sad you get, the show must go on.

50 shares on X this month:

At the strip club sighing until one of the dancers asks me what’s wrong.

52 shares on Reddit this month:

Sorry I didn’t respond to your message, I got stuck in a cloud while skydiving and lived for 72 days by drinking rain and eating birds that flew too close.

Trending Topics 📁

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Hot Jokes 💥

22 folks are currently checking 👀

Going to the beach is 99% getting ready for the beach and 1% enjoying the beach.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

I love sleeping so much that it is the first thing I think about when I wake up.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

My goal was to look good in a bikini this summer, but the call of the barbecue is stronger.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

I need a stunt double for when I’m navigating my way to the bathroom at night.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

Missionary, so I can look him in the eyes and ask him why Ashley from work is texting him with heart eyes.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

I think we all know who to blame for the generation of parents who put too many Ys in their kids’ names. Lynyrd Skynyrd.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

Why can’t hackers just delete everyone’s bad debt, credit, and mortgages?

6 folks are currently checking 👀

They all cheat, lie and manipulate. Just pick the pretty one.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

If your problem can’t be fixed by coffee, tequila or sex then I’m out of advice.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

People can’t drive you crazy if you don’t give them the keys.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

629 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,222

Funny Quotes Topics

17,352

Funny Quotes Images

15,222

Updated

Dec 30, 2025

Users Online

3,677

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇿🇼 has downloaded:

November doesn’t have afternoons. It’s just morning until 2 p.m., then night.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has viewed:

Someone is probably in the worst argument of their life right now. LOL!

Someone from 🇿🇲 has bookmarked:

I miss the way I viewed the world before I found out too much about it.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has copied:

Can somebody explain to me why it’s bad if immigrants take our jobs, but it’s good if AI does?

Someone from 🇹🇻 has downloaded:

The people that sing their heart out, but terribly, are my people.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has viewed:

Hey, I noticed you’re completely uninterested in me and couldn’t care whether I live or die. Would you like to build a life together?

Someone from 🇰🇬 has shared:

I’ll never understand why the volume in movies is always mixed in such a way that you can barely understand the dialog and your neighbor gets war flashbacks during action scenes.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has viewed:

Gonna go walk the beach and stare annoyingly at couples. May even growl as I pass by.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has downloaded:

My mom be cutting up fruit and bringing it to me in my room without saying nothing. That’s when it hits me, nobody ever gonna love me this much.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has shared:

If you’re not getting spoiled, then spoil yourself.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on YouTube:

I don’t miss calls, I stare at them.

Seen just now on Facebook:

If a demon ever possessed me, I’d just sit back and say, “Your problem now.”

Seen just now on Threads:

It’s crazy how social media convinced us that 15 likes aren’t enough. Imagine 15 people in real life telling you that you looked good.

Spotted on Instagram:

I always wait 3 minutes after each post for the applause to die down.

Going viral on Telegram:

I knew I had issues when motivational speakers started to irritate me.

Shared recently on TikTok:

I’ve learned two important things in life, I can’t remember the first one, but the second one is to write everything down.

Just shared via TikTok:

If we’re not meant to have midnight snacks, why is there a light in the fridge.

Just landed via WeChat:

I’m addicted to following the rules I made up. And also breaking the rules I made up.

Broadcasted on Pinterest:

Coffee: Because without it I would be a serious danger to society.

Trending via Pinterest:

We all know that mirrors don’t lie. I’m just very grateful that they don’t laugh.

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