Wordgag ツ

Commentary:
Well, they do say distance makes the heart grow fonder… or in this case, a court order 💌🚫🤣 Hopefully, Jude Law's response will be worth framing! 🖼️ #StalkerFanGoals

away, awkwardness, celebrity, distance, feet, frame, getting, humor, jude, Jude Law, law, letter, letters, love, love letter, me, noticed, response, romance, something, staying

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Instead of saying “Good morning,” my wife and I go straight into explanations of how badly we each slept.

0

2 months ago

conversations, explanations, good, humor, i, morning, relationship, routine, saying, sleep, straight, wife
I came home to find my boyfriend mopping the floor and my first thought was, “who’d he kill?”

0

2 months ago

boyfriend, cleaning, floor, funny observation, home, humor, kill, mopping, observation, relationship, surprise, thought
Starting to think I’m single because of everyone else’s shortcomings.

1

2 months ago

dating, everyone, humor, relationships, self-awareness, shortcomings, single, think
I don’t like how monkeys have taken ownership of the whole banana thing. I bet I like bananas almost as much as they do.

0

2 months ago

banana, bananas, bet, comparison, fruit, humor, i, jealousy, monkey, much, ownership, taken, thing, whole
I avoid those club cameras like my life depends on it.

0

5 months ago

avoid, avoidance, camera, club, depends, humor, i, life, nightlife
Every time my kids start whining, I get the urge to call my mom and apologize.

0

2 months ago

apologize, call, family, humor, i, kids, mom, parenting, relationship, start, time, urge, whining

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

20 shares on TikTok this month:

I didn’t buy that thing I wanted but didn’t need, so I celebrated by buying a different thing I wanted but didn’t need.

51 shares on TikTok this month:

I am the first person in my bloodline to attempt to become hot, and I can feel my genes fighting me every step of the way.

41 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I would definitely deny being from here if the aliens pulled up and asked. Not claiming this embarrassing planet in front of intergalactic travelers, are you dumb?

69 shares on Threads this month:

The void screams into me.

17 shares on Instagram this month:

Insurance is cool because even if you have it, it still kinda feels like you don’t.

74 shares on Slack this month:

Gonna toot my own horn here because I made it through another day without turning any of my feelings into felonies.

18 shares on TikTok this month:

As a pigeon mother, I would never let my pigeon daughter hang around the station. That’s really no place for a young pigeon lady.

22 shares on WeChat this month:

Just saw two identical twins out in public together. No disrespect to that lifestyle but please keep it private.

73 shares on Threads this month:

When people tell me “you’re going to regret that in the morning”, I sleep until noon because I am a problem solver.

75 shares on Slack this month:

Santa: “Don’t leave me milk. Leave me whiskey.”

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇦 has shared:

Twitter is an abusement park.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has bookmarked:

It’s Sunday. I’ve slept in and ignored church. Somewhere the devil is sitting and clicking on “Like”.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has viewed:

Horse girls and cat ladies get all the attention, but what about crow women?

Someone from 🇸🇾 has bookmarked:

My phone charger is lying in another room. HELP.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has viewed:

Blaming the full moon for whatever unhinged decision I make tonight.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has shared:

The word Ohio looks like a tractor.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has viewed:

I’m sick of living through history!

Someone from 🇬🇪 has downloaded:

This entire “presidency” is like being tied to a chair and watching a toddler play with a loaded pistol.

Someone from 🇲🇲 has copied:

The lion does not concern himself with the check engine light.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has copied:

Babymaking music but it’s the Benny Hill theme song.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Facebook:

“It’s bikini season,” I whisper, eating another bikini.

Trending via WeChat:

Listen up. If he hooks his sunglasses in the front collar of his shirt, he’s got something important to say.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

Stop bothering me, or I will inform you of a behavioral pattern that is noticeable to other people, but I can tell you are not yet aware of.

Seen just now on Twitch:

Did anyone else use grocery bags as textbook covers, or was I just that poor?

Trending via Snapchat:

They’re making me do work at work.

Just landed via Telegram:

We could all be hibernating right now but noooooo we have to be “adults” with “responsibilities”.

Breaking via Reddit:

Does running away from my problems count as cardio?

Just shared via LinkedIn:

Should we all just give up and get really into drugs? Wait, this is literally what happened in the 60s. That just clicked for me.

Just landed via Telegram:

I want to make fun of Kanye but I’m always losing my shit on the internet too.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

I passed my genetic engineering exam with flying koalas.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

After all these years, Jude Law has finally noticed me and responded to my love letters. Something about staying 500 feet away. I’m getting it framed.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Instead of saying “Good morning,” my wife and I go straight into explanations of how badly we each slept.

I came home to find my boyfriend mopping the floor and my first thought was, “who’d he kill?”

Starting to think I’m single because of everyone else’s shortcomings.

I don’t like how monkeys have taken ownership of the whole banana thing. I bet I like bananas almost as much as they do.

I avoid those club cameras like my life depends on it.

Every time my kids start whining, I get the urge to call my mom and apologize.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨