Someone from has downloaded:

Traveling long distance without earphones feels like you’re serving a jail term.

Someone from has shared:

And so ends another week without me getting rich unexpectedly.

Someone from has shared:

Gonna run this by my two best friends who are as insane as I am.

Someone from has downloaded:

Realizing this yogurt I’m eating is more active and cultured than I am.

Someone from has copied:

Life is so funny because you think you look good today and a year later you look even better.

Someone from has copied:

The guy that said laughter is the best medicine obviously wasn’t suffering from diarrhea.

Someone from has downloaded:

I love saying “You’re welcome!” really loudly when someone hasn’t thanked me.

Someone from has copied:

Tomorrow isn’t promised, so make sure you tell bad people they’re bad.

Someone from has bookmarked:

Can’t stand British posts on my timeline. “I bought this for four squids and a halfpenny!” What the hell are you talking about?

Someone from has shared:

Due to foreseen circumstances well within my control I will be late.