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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇹 has shared:

The question is, what will kill humanity this century? Artificial intelligence or natural stupidity?

Someone from 🇺🇾 has copied:

Just because I’m awake doesn’t mean I’m ready to do things.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has copied:

The Princess and the Pea, except it’s a rogue hair on the inside of my shirt driving me crazy all day.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has copied:

Today I was in a taxi, and the taxi driver said, “I love my job. I am my own boss, nobody tells me what to do!” Then I said, “Turn left.”

Someone from 🇱🇦 has downloaded:

I’m saving myself for my vibrator.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has viewed:

I march to the beat of my own dumb.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has copied:

I’m so old and have never even met a woman named Jolene. I’d really like to find her, though. She can have my man.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has shared:

Hey (threateningly), can I join your years-old, tight-knit, close friend group?

Someone from 🇸🇹 has copied:

You can generate images with your mind whenever you want. You don’t even need AI.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has shared:

I don’t need a fancy watch to tell me I’m not fit one bit.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,687

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on WeChat:

Why do humans need jobs? Why can’t I just exist and make art and chill with my cat?

Trending via Reddit:

So proud of my ancestors for crawling out of the sea and evolving lungs. Pretty disappointed in them ever since though.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

Just remember, you don’t need a special reason to buy a cake.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

I’m upstairs and the food is downstairs. Send help.

Broadcasted on Slack:

Babe, are you OK? You’ve barely touched your unread books.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

Can we call situationships ‘affairs’ again? It sounds more adult and less desperate.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

(suicidal grindset guy) When I jump, it’s gonna be from the penthouse.

Broadcasted on X:

Texting random numbers “It’s done.”

Going viral on Pinterest:

Everyone on the bus thinks that they are the main character, when in reality the main character is the bus.

Going bananas on Snapchat:

Might mess around and reply “history will absolve me” to all work emails.

All I do is go to work, come home, blink and suddenly I’m back at work.

Witty text about the endless cycle of work and home life, humorous and relatable.
Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Life of a perpetual work warrior be like: ⚙️🏠👀🔄 Can we please add a few more blinks of fun and leisure in between, pretty please? 😅💼💤"

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Keep the laugh going 😂

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Random Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

32 shares on Telegram this month:

A delivery driver just asked for my date of birth. I said, “94.” He replied, “Is that 1994?” Oh, sorry mate, no. My bad, that was 1794. Right around the French Revolution.

84 shares on Messenger this month:

I’m glad nobody can see the face I make when I’ve just started the washing machine and then spot a sock on the floor.

34 shares on Slack this month:

Unlike the stomach, the brain doesn’t alert you when it’s empty.

67 shares on Twitch this month:

I just locked eyes with a spider. But instead of killing him I ran away and hid, so he can spend the night stressing about where I am.

98 shares on WeChat this month:

Apparently, I’m not even going through a lot; I just need money.

13 shares on X this month:

Why are plane tickets so expensive? You’re going that way anyway, just give me a ride.

27 shares on Slack this month:

Any time I have ever uttered the phrase “no worries” I have been lying. There are many worries.

12 shares on Snapchat this month:

It’s funny how when you’re at work, “Go to hell” comes out as “No problem.”

17 shares on Instagram this month:

Going to the gym for my health and wellbeing? No, I just wanna look good naked.

21 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Growing up, I always knew I was gonna be the distant family member.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Humming & dancing while I plop my meds into my weekly pill counter like the happy little nutcase I am.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

Messed up and threw a surprise party for my minimalist friend. Now 25 of us are hiding behind the granite orb.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

Unfortunately, it only strengthens my spirit when the summer people mourn their terrible season.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

Don’t talk to me while my earphones are in, man, I’m at a concert.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

Forget all this adulting stuff, let’s bring back Saturday morning cartoons.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

Every marriage has a personality hire, and then someone who knows how insurance works.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

Any porn site that allows comments is instantly funny because, like, why is that there.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

Men used to build castles for women they love, but now they think replying on time is too much effort.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

I think God’s next test for me should be, “Can he handle a ridiculous amount of money.”

20 folks are currently checking 👀

These people act like they’ve never seen anyone wearing a Speedo in a laundromat before.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,772

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇷 has downloaded:

Aliens are coming to Earth, people are going to the Moon, and I am still pushing on a door that says pull.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has shared:

Being late to work should never be that serious. At least I came?

Someone from 🇮🇱 has bookmarked:

A clever man fills his wife’s closet with so many clothes that no other man can fit in.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has bookmarked:

I do not want to have a career. I want to sit on the porch.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has viewed:

I need to figure out what I’m going to wear to the couch on New Year’s Eve.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has bookmarked:

Pretty girls don’t compete. We sit pretty, count blessings, and ignore weird energy.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has viewed:

Vaginally speaking, he seems nice.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has downloaded:

Roses are red, I’m staying in bed. I’ve made no plans, besides pretending I’m dead.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has bookmarked:

I tried to take a picture of myself in the shower, but my camera kept fogging up. I have selfie steam issues.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has downloaded:

Next time I lose my mind I swear I’m not even going to look for it any more.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Threads:

Sorry I was late, I was waiting for my CVS receipt to finish printing.

Making waves on Reddit:

All I’m dealing with is broken people. Lord, if I’m a mechanic, please tell me.

Spotted on Snapchat:

Sometimes I wish I was an octopus, so I could slap eight people at once.

Just shared via LinkedIn:

Donuts hug you from the inside.

Trending via LinkedIn:

I can’t work under these festive conditions.

Going viral on Messenger:

You sound smart. You some kinda ‘ologist?

Live now on Facebook:

Why is it called “free time” when I use it to spend all my money?

Just shared via Pinterest:

When people say something is cray-cray it makes me wanna vom-vom.

Spotted on Facebook:

Y’all need to stop marrying people who look just like you do but with a wig on.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

You can put refrigerator magnets on your car, too. There are no rules.

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