All of my passwords are protected by short-term memory loss.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has viewed:

Oh, you like NYC? Name every rat.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has downloaded:

I don’t really care how you met your partner. Tell me about how you met your nemesis.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has copied:

Starting my period on election day because I’m a true patriot who bleeds for this country.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has shared:

Mister Sandman, bring me a meme. Make it the dumbest shit that I’ve ever seen.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has downloaded:

If it turns cold one more time, I’m gonna put the Christmas tree back up.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has downloaded:

I can’t blame this generation too much for doing stupid stuff. My generation thought seven Police Academy movies were a good idea.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has copied:

Are you even a parent if you’ve never carried your child out of a store sideways like a surfboard?

Someone from 🇹🇷 has bookmarked:

Instead of calling it the John I’m going to start calling my bathroom the Jim. That way I can say I go to the Jim every morning.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has viewed:

Hate when anxiety gives me stomach problems. Like, baby, you are supposed to be a mental disorder, please stay in your line.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has downloaded:

Sex is so embarrassing. Like, why did I want to do that to you?