Wordgag ツ

Commentary:
"Watch in amazement as I magically transform into the illusion of competence! 🎩✨ Who needs real skills when you have the power of confidence and good intentions? 😂 #FakeItTillYouMakeIt"

doing, humor, i, illusion, joke, know, magic, next, performance, self-deprecation, trick

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Life hack: You don’t need white noise to sleep when you have constant ringing in your ears.

0

3 weeks ago

constant, ear, ears, hack, humor, insomnia, life, life hack, need, noise, ringing, sleep, sound, tinnitus, white, white noise
Dating apps? No thanks, if I wanted to talk to someone for hours and accomplish nothing, I’d contact tech support.

0

2 months ago

accomplish, apps, communication, contact, dating, frustration, hours, humor, i, ID, nothing, relationship, someone, support, talk, tech, thanks, wanted
I don’t consider myself anything but average. However, I have aged well.

0

2 months ago

aging, anything, average, confidence, consider, humor, i, myself, self-awareness, self-deprecating, well
I love that cats slap the shit out of everything they can’t understand.

0

2 months ago

behavior, cat, cats, everything, humor, i, love, misunderstanding, shit, slap, understand
Being Leonardo DiCaprio is like driving in a school zone. You don’t go above twenty-five.

0

2 months ago

being, caution, celebrity, dicaprio, driving, humor, leonardo, Leonardo DiCaprio, limit, school, school zone, speed, speed limit, zone
I wish flies spoke English, so I could say, ‘Hey, if you don’t leave right now, I am going to kill you so hard.’

0

2 months ago

am, communication, English, fly, going, hard, humor, i, insect, kill, language, leave, right, say, threat, wish

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

10 shares on Twitch this month:

Don’t listen to them, little password. You are strong.

94 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I’m doing pretty good for someone who rarely has a clue.

90 shares on Reddit this month:

I’m experimenting with how many apples I need to eat a day to keep everyone away, whatever their profession.

75 shares on X this month:

I accidentally messed up my life. How do I start a new account?

62 shares on WeChat this month:

Lois Lane said, “Clark?” like she didn’t just make out with that same jawline in spandex twelve hours ago.

23 shares on Instagram this month:

If she says “so just what exactly is THAT supposed to mean”, you’re gonna have a bad time.

45 shares on Twitch this month:

Dear diary, I have to lock in tomorrow, fix everything, and do everything.

26 shares on Twitch this month:

I wonder what the other me’s are up to in other dimensions.

19 shares on Snapchat this month:

If anyone wants to sponsor me, I’ll be running a 0.002K this weekend to raise awareness for laziness.

56 shares on X this month:

Christmas bonus so small you have to call your bank and ask “is it in yet?”

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇻🇳 has copied:

My husband has entered the “fun socks” years.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has shared:

Called myself to see if I’d answer, sent me to voicemail. Twice.

Someone from 🇲🇲 has shared:

I can’t wait til I have hearing aids, so I can just turn them off when I’m tired of hearing everyone.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has shared:

How many calories do you burn waiting to hear back?

Someone from 🇸🇹 has bookmarked:

I personally get offended when rain is referred to as “bad weather.”

Someone from 🇬🇲 has shared:

I’ve noticed the best way to get somebody’s attention is to not want it anymore.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has bookmarked:

I accidentally clicked on an ad, so I guess I will see that product all over my phone until I’m dead.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has shared:

I will not stop replying with gifs. I am a Millennial, it’s my birthright.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has copied:

I don’t really do one-night stands, but I will do, like, 3-8 months of a semi-toxic, undefined relationship that wastes my time and ruins my life.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has downloaded:

Rather than touching grass, I recommend going to a concert and experiencing the live performance of that one song you hold religiously close to your heart.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Facebook:

(Flirting) What’s every single thing you’ve ever thought?

Spotted on TikTok:

The Frankfurt School?? What are you majoring in, hot dog?

Spotted on Telegram:

I fractured my laziness and dislocated my interest.

Going viral on YouTube:

Arkansas is just Kansas for pirates.

Making waves on WeChat:

I believe in annoyed at first sight.

Broadcasted on X:

I’m so single. When they ask me for an emergency contact, I put the neighbor’s dog.

Spreading quickly via TikTok:

Person in murder documentary: This is a small town. Things like this don’t happen here. Me: Um, based on the shows I watch, that’s all that happens in small towns.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

My husband loves it when he orders fries, I say I don’t want any, and then I swoop in on his like a seagull at the beach.

Spotted on Reddit:

If we were subway rats, I’d share my pizza crust with you.

Just landed via Pinterest:

When I die and y’all go through my search history, you’ll be disappointed to find mostly just definitions for very common words that I wasn’t sure I was using correctly.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

And for my next trick, I will appear to know what I’m doing.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Life hack: You don’t need white noise to sleep when you have constant ringing in your ears.

Dating apps? No thanks, if I wanted to talk to someone for hours and accomplish nothing, I’d contact tech support.

I don’t consider myself anything but average. However, I have aged well.

I love that cats slap the shit out of everything they can’t understand.

Being Leonardo DiCaprio is like driving in a school zone. You don’t go above twenty-five.

I wish flies spoke English, so I could say, ‘Hey, if you don’t leave right now, I am going to kill you so hard.’

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨