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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇮 has bookmarked:

I don’t wanna be dramatic but the work week continuously restarting is literally ruining my life.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has copied:

I either text back right away or never, because I saw your text, replied in my head but forgot to actually type it.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has shared:

Eating fast food shouldn’t count for calories because it’s not around long enough.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has shared:

When I bark at a dog, I always worry that I might have inadvertently said something wrong.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has shared:

I’ve decided to become an organ donor. When I die, I want an elephant to get a new trunk.

Someone from 🇹🇳 has bookmarked:

Apparently, “I just don’t want to” is not a valid reason when your boss asks you why you’re not coming in today.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has copied:

I can clean the whole house if I want to, but if someone asks me to do it, suddenly I’m lazy.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has bookmarked:

Anyone else’s phone make a retching noise when you unlock it with Face ID?

Someone from 🇸🇦 has bookmarked:

Nobody stresses a woman out more than a man who isn’t her man yet.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has bookmarked:

Therapy is cool but singing as loud as you can in your car is free.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

782 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,944

Funny Quotes Topics

13,916

Funny Quotes Images

10,944

20 minutes ago

3,437

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via Discord:

What’s the point of having sex dreams if you always wake up just when it’s getting down to business?

Just shared via WhatsApp:

‘You’re going to die alone!’ Okay, when did dying become a group project?

Reported on Reddit:

I did not attend his funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it.

Going viral on WeChat:

The question of whether an employer values its employees is sometimes answered by the toilet paper.

Trending via Slack:

Went to the grocery store hungry. I didn’t need to pay rent this month anyway.

Making waves on Threads:

The price of groceries has gotten me thinking about what acorns taste like.

Trending via Twitch:

Absolute worst time of year to have a secret family. Hands down.

Spotted on Discord:

Only a fool would use the toothbrush the dentist gives you. You think the dentist would freely hand you the tools that would keep them away?

Shared recently on Twitch:

Boyfriends come and go… reply guys stay forever. Against your will, even.

Shared recently on Telegram:

I know I seem a little crazy sometimes, but that’s because I AM.

Anyone know how to create an Outlook rule that sends every email to junk, deletes it, blocks the sender, and sets my laptop on fire?

6 months ago

Anyone know how to create an Outlook rule that sends every email to junk, deletes it, blocks the sender, and sets my laptop on fire?

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Sounds like someone is ready to take extreme measures when it comes to managing their email! 🔥📧 Setting your laptop on fire might be a bit over the top, but we've all been tempted to unleash our inner pyromaniac on a flooded inbox. Remember, it's all fun and games until your laptop melts into a pile of ashes! 😂🔥

block, delete, email, every, fire, frustration, humor, junk, know, laptop, outlook, rule, sender

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

782 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,944

Funny Quotes Topics

13,916

Funny Quotes Images

10,944

20 minutes ago

3,435

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇹 has downloaded:

God: “Free will was a bad idea. I should have charged for it.”

Someone from 🇸🇰 has shared:

Welcome to adulthood. Everyone’s tired here.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has bookmarked:

Optimist: The glass is ½ full. Pessimist: The glass is ½ empty. Excel: The glass is January 2nd.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has viewed:

This gratitude journal looks a lot like a grocery list.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has viewed:

My favorite part about summer is when I get to go back inside where it’s air conditioned.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has bookmarked:

If you innocently act like you don’t know, people will explain dirty words to you and it’s hilarious.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has shared:

I never make the same mistake twice. I make it three four times, you know, just to be sure!

Someone from 🇦🇫 has shared:

When you want to feel at your thinnest, walk through Walmart at any time of day.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has copied:

Every time I watch “The Godfather”, I notice some new detail (they’re Italian???).

Someone from 🇦🇹 has copied:

I offered my nephew a donut and he said “no thanks, I’m not hungry right now” and I don’t think this little guy knows how donuts work.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Facebook:

I think one quality that makes me incredibly attractive is that I keep my mouth shut when I have nothing to say.

Spreading quickly via Twitch:

Every Sunday is superbowel if you eat enough chili.

Just shared via Pinterest:

Porn actresses envy the look on my face when I clean my ear with a cotton bud.

Going viral on Snapchat:

I switched from coffee to orange juice and told my doctor I felt better. He said it’s the vitamin C and natural sugars, but I think it’s the vodka.

Just landed via Twitch:

Every time a Taco Bell rings, an angel gets diarrhea.

Reported on LinkedIn:

It’s Monday again and I’m about to make it everyone’s problem.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

And so ends another week without me getting rich unexpectedly.

Spotted on Pinterest:

I wonder if it’s possible to swim from one end to the other in a pool filled with mashed potatoes.

Reported on Discord:

If parallel universe exist, I hope the other me is doing well.

Making waves on Threads:

Current relationship status: sleeping diagonally across the bed.

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