Wordgag 🎅

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇻🇳 has shared:

“You’re so quiet!” Thanks! I actually tried to speak twice but you kept talking over me.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has downloaded:

Discord is only good for calling friends on the computer. Please do not waste your time getting caught up in random servers.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has bookmarked:

Nothing tops a plain pizza.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has bookmarked:

God: “I used to work in mysterious ways but now I’m unemployed.”

Someone from 🇹🇩 has shared:

When I moved into my new igloo, my friends threw me a surprise housewarming party. Now I’m homeless.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has copied:

I already know how it will end. One of my children will unplug my life support to charge their phone.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has viewed:

Parents saying “I know my child” will forever be the funniest joke.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has shared:

I will play my favorite song until the artist comes out of my phone to ask for water.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has bookmarked:

Being shy is so annoying. Why is my chest hurting me, because I need to speak in public?

Someone from 🇵🇾 has copied:

Men used to send love letters in the middle of wars, and now they think reassurance is too much effort.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

501 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,094

Funny Quotes Topics

17,246

Funny Quotes Images

15,094

Dec 22, 2025

3,768

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on WhatsApp:

Putting together a piece of furniture today, so my kids are about to learn swear words that haven’t even been invented yet.

Just landed via Twitch:

NFTs were less about the money and more about the friends you scammed along the way.

Broadcasted on TikTok:

Having no one to talk would get you a good sleeping schedule.

Going bananas on LinkedIn:

I put my pants on like everyone else. With hope they still fit.

Seen just now on YouTube:

Every person you meet is fighting a battle you know nothing about. Make it worse by asking if they’re drinking enough water.

Live now on Threads:

I like to minimize the disappointment by being myself right from the start.

Trending via LinkedIn:

Does anyone know where I can find true love?

Going bananas on X:

May life treat you exactly the same way you treat servers, store clerks, senior citizens, children, and animals.

Making waves on Snapchat:

Rudolph’s bright red nose would not have done anything to improve Santa’s visibility in dense fog.

Breaking via Pinterest:

You can make a salad without lettuce if you want, there are no rules.

Are people born with photographic memories or do they take time to develop?

2 months ago

0

Are people born with photographic memories or do they take time to develop?

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Ah, the age-old question: do we come out of the womb snapping mental Polaroids or do we need a few software updates first? 📸🧠 Maybe our brains need to spend some time in the dark room before they can create those perfect mental snapshots! 🎞️💡"

born, development, humor, memory, people, photographic, question, take, time

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

If “live each day as if it’s your last” means being paralyzed with anxiety and a sense of impending doom, then I am absolutely nailing it.

0

1 month ago

absolutely, am, anxiety, being, dark, dark humor, day, death, doom, existential, existential humor, health, humor, humor about death, i, last, live, means, mental, mental health, procrastination, sarcasm, self-deprecating, sense
I thought I wanted a career. Turns out all I wanted is paychecks.

0

1 month ago

ambition, career, humor, i, job, money, paycheck, thought, work
My favorite dinner is the one made by someone else.

0

2 months ago

cooking, dinner, else, favorite, food, humor, laziness, meal, preference, someone, someone else
If my cats are going to insist upon me getting up early, they’re going to have to learn how to make coffee.

0

1 month ago

breakfast, cat, cats, coffee, domestication, early, getting, going, humor, insist, learn, me, mornings, pet, sarcasm, upon, waking, waking up
You only live once and thank God for that.

0

1 month ago

appreciation, existence, God, gratitude, humor, irony, life, live, once, only, philosophy, thank, yolo
“You’re always drinking wine!” God forbid a girl enjoys the first miracle of Jesus.

0

1 month ago

always, drinking, enjoyment, fun, girl, God, humor, Jesus, miracle, sarcasm, wine

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎁🎅🎄 Christmas Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

72 shares on Pinterest this month:

I survived a Monday, and for what? Tuesday? Disgusting.

73 shares on Messenger this month:

I have so many mood swings, I’m basically a swing now.

18 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Just got my test results back and my cholesterol level is a cheese bratwurst.

92 shares on Facebook this month:

Avoid calls from pesky bill collectors by not paying your phone bill.

49 shares on WeChat this month:

They should invent a DoorDash but for a kiss goodnight and getting tucked in.

31 shares on TikTok this month:

In other news, congrats to my therapist for securing a 4 year contract with me.

98 shares on Snapchat this month:

Asking my boyfriend if he would still date me if an alien had done experiments on me that killed me but, as a gesture of kindness, replaced me with a perfect replica, and he was the only one who knew.

35 shares on Facebook this month:

I just sneezed next to my computer and the anti-virus popped up.

48 shares on TikTok this month:

Couldn’t afford a man cave. Had to settle for a gazebro.

73 shares on YouTube this month:

I’m the friend who shows up with a shovel and an alibi.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

25 folks are currently checking 👀

Women watch Netflix with subtitles because they don’t know how to listen.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

Never vacuuming so I don’t disrupt my carpet’s natural micro biome.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m at the age where using the wrong pillow makes you feel like you broke your neck.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

Why is there so much day left at the end of my patience?

14 folks are currently checking 👀

What if aliens watch our movies about aliens and then invade accordingly in hopes of fitting in with our culture?

25 folks are currently checking 👀

You can get addicted to a certain kind of swagness.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

Some people are like “I’m a people pleaser,” and not a single person is pleased with them.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

I love how women can go from obsessed to not interested at all when a man makes that one wrong move.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

Single in the womb, single till the tomb!

22 folks are currently checking 👀

Therapy? I have Spotify.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

501 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,094

Funny Quotes Topics

17,246

Funny Quotes Images

15,094

Updated

Dec 22, 2025

Users Online

3,771

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇾 has downloaded:

You’re all badass until that dust bunny in the corner is a real spider.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has bookmarked:

Candy companies will look you straight in the eye and lie about how they know what a banana tastes like.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has downloaded:

My favorite type of gender reveal is the one where they just tell me and I don’t have to go to a party to find out.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has downloaded:

Got too drunk in the Vietnamese restaurant last night, they said I can never go back. They banh mi.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has viewed:

Downloading the Titanic soundtrack. It’s syncing right now.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has viewed:

If you ever need nothing, I’m here for you.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has copied:

Wonder what I should wear to World War III.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has downloaded:

I get shy when my man stares at me for too long because what if he’s realizing I’m actually a lil ugly.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has copied:

Welcome to your 40s, you’re too old to sit on the floor and put furniture together.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has bookmarked:

Wish I came with subtitles because I mumble a lot.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Threads:

Wouldn’t it be nice if you could donate your own body fat to those who need it more urgently?

Making waves on YouTube:

Nudes are played out. Send me a video of you reading out loud so I know you’re not dumb.

Shared recently on WeChat:

I don’t consider myself anything but average. However, I have aged well.

Spreading quickly via Telegram:

Welcome to adulthood. The weekend is your only time to catch up on everything, but also your only time to do absolutely nothing.

Going viral on Facebook:

Day number 3 without coffee: Lost hearing in my left eye.

Shared recently on TikTok:

I bet it feels so good for a cat to headbutt someone they adore.

Spotted on Slack:

I’d like to have a word with the groundhog before he starts working this year.

Just shared via Threads:

I miss when men had big hair, louder feelings, and leaned over cars to declare their love.

Just shared via Pinterest:

I think I may need professional help. A chef, a butler and a maid should do it!

Going viral on WeChat:

Throwing “whereupon” into a few work emails today to keep it fun.

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