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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇪 has bookmarked:

That moment you turn down the music while driving around looking for a street address, so you can see better.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has bookmarked:

Welcome to your 50’s. Your doctor and pharmacist are both in your contacts now.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has shared:

Finally gathered all my thoughts and now they’re jumping me.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has shared:

In honor of the winter solstice, I also will be cold, distant and filled with darkness.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has viewed:

Lie about the gap in your resume. Tell them you had to help some Hobbits take a ring to Mordor or something.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has shared:

I’m bad at being sad. Three minutes in, and I’m already making fun of my situation.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has viewed:

The name Ella is short for Mozzarella.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has bookmarked:

Some of these fake tans look like an old Tupperware container that’s had marinara sauce in it.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has downloaded:

Extrovert self made too many plans and now introvert self is pissed.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has viewed:

There are drug-sniffing dogs, guide dogs, dogs that save lives. And then there’s my dog, who hits the lead when he poops.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,626

Social Media Log 💫

Breaking via Threads:

Instead of presents this year, I’m giving everyone my opinion. Get excited!

Spotted on WeChat:

I’ve asked so many people what LGBTQ stands for. So far no one has given me a straight answer.

Spreading quickly via WeChat:

Sorry I missed your call 8 months ago. Is everything okay?

Seen just now on Twitch:

I’m so old, I used to cry as a child because I fell off my skateboard or bike, not because I didn’t have wifi.

Making waves on YouTube:

Just spent a couple seconds concerned about the sounds my stomach was making before realizing it was a motorcycle outside.

Broadcasted on Facebook:

No need for a Halloween costume this year because there’s nothing scarier than being in your mid-20s and not knowing who you are or what you want to do anymore.

Just landed via YouTube:

People who say “teamwork makes the dream work” are the reason that some people want to punch other people in the face.

Seen just now on Instagram:

Double chins are better than double faces.

Spotted on Slack:

Typos is the Greek god of spelling errors.

Seen just now on Messenger:

Dear diary, I have to lock in tomorrow, fix everything, and do everything.

Are you my pinky toe, because I will bang you on all my furniture.

Playful quote about accidentally hurting your pinky toe on furniture, humorous and witty.
Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Looks like someone's really toe-tally committed to making a connection! Watch out, love might just be lurking around the coffee table."

, , , , , , , ,

Keep the laugh going 😂

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Funny Quotes Collections
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Social Media Stars ⭐

44 shares on Facebook this month:

I’m neither a lover nor a fighter. I’m a snacker.

20 shares on Facebook this month:

They should invent more hobbies for people without skills or patience.

59 shares on Telegram this month:

There’s a special place in hell for people like you (next to me).

20 shares on Facebook this month:

Forget being the bigger person, I’m going to just start barking at people.

83 shares on X this month:

If only vehicles could be equipped with little blinky lights on the corners to alert other drivers the direction they wished to turn.

54 shares on Twitch this month:

My kids will never appreciate the amount of extroverting the introvert me does for them.

47 shares on Twitch this month:

You should be able to google why a couple broke up.

94 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Unlike smoking, vaping doesn’t reduce your sex drive. It just reduces the sex drive of the people who see you vaping.

76 shares on Slack this month:

Asked a German woman why Germany produced so many legendary physicists / mathematicians, and her response was basically, “Have you considered educating people who aren’t rich?”

22 shares on Telegram this month:

Opening a Star Wars pub called Bar Bar Binks.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

14 folks are currently checking 👀

Roses are pink. I need a drink.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

The Bible is 100% accurate when thrown at close range.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

Not to brag but there are so many movies out there that have watched me sleep.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

Accidentally made eye contact with the sweets at the grocery store and now have to declare bankruptcy.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

I wish people would stop holding back and use social media to tell us how they really feel.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

A frittata is just an omelette for people too lazy to flip things.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

If we keep saving daylight, daylight will never learn to save itself.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

All of humanities problems could be solved with a large meteor.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

Don’t cry because it’s over. Cry because you have an extra hour to think about it.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

Senility is the pits. Spent an hour driving around the mall parking lot looking for my car.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,303

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇿 has copied:

Of all the things to lose why couldn’t it have been my appetite and not my mind.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has copied:

People who have apartment windows that face the street and put their Christmas trees in them, thank you for your service.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has shared:

I’m starting to think that the secret to having a happy life is avoiding people.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has copied:

Girl, I’m bored. Let’s start drinking the daily recommended 10-15 cups of water.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has downloaded:

“Get a life!” Have you seen some of the lives out there?

Someone from 🇹🇷 has downloaded:

Dating to marry in a world filled with cheaters, situationships, and hook-up culture.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has downloaded:

Man, you really don’t appreciate not having something in your eye until you have something in your eye.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has shared:

I don’t make mistakes, I date them.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has shared:

There has been a British voice in my head saying, “Bit sad innit,” for the past few weeks.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has shared:

I never wanted to become one of those adults who just find the music of the younger generation annoying. Nobody could have guessed that the music was just annoying.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Reddit:

Guy on the day of the 1918 armistice, walking around the trench, clapping, saying things like “Great work, everyone,” and “We did it, team.”

Trending via TikTok:

Had to sit with a straight face while my landlord told me I was paying his rent and mortgage for him.

Spotted on Snapchat:

Getting a second opinion about my Tamagotchi’s health.

Going bananas on Twitch:

My favorite hobby is withering away.

Breaking via YouTube:

Men with bibles names be the worst type of people.

Trending via Telegram:

My bed is a magical place where I suddenly remember everything I forgot to do.

Trending via Threads:

If politicians can text my cell phone asking for money, I should be able to text them directly with policy suggestions.

Making waves on WeChat:

I leave the blue tick on WhatsApp so that people can see exactly when I wasn’t interested.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

I’m tired of adding ‘LOL’ to the end of my texts for sensitive people.

Going viral on Reddit:

Everyone’s a gangster until their doorbell rings.

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