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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇫🇲 has bookmarked:

If I were Noah, I’d bring three of every animal just to create some drama.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has viewed:

Trying to bribe Monday with coffee to get it to act like a Friday.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has viewed:

Talking to some people is like folding a fitted sheet.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has copied:

Kids are like pancakes. The first one is always a bit strange.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has downloaded:

Don’t forget to whine and complain about Monday today.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has shared:

The pain of watching a movie with someone who talks a lot.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has downloaded:

Hmm, that’s a bit too harsh. Let me put “lol” at the end of it.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has downloaded:

Sometimes my mouth hits send before my brain has a chance to stop it.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has copied:

I hate when I have dreams about work. I’m not getting paid to interact with these people on my time off!

Someone from 🇻🇪 has viewed:

Tornados are just a bunch of ghosts fighting over a cow.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2316 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,478

Funny Quotes Topics

15,183

Funny Quotes Images

12,478

27 minutes ago

3,432

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Telegram:

Don’t invite me places. I was cesarean. I didn’t want to come out then and I certainly don’t want to now.

Going viral on Pinterest:

I called the cops on my own party once because I was ready to go to bed.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

Life always has it’s ups and downs. I like to up the music, down the drinks, and then relax and enjoy.

Just shared via Messenger:

The me who snips coupons needs to communicate better with the me who walks into the stores.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

Everybody looks like a criminal on the self-checkout camera.

Seen just now on Instagram:

My boyfriend invited the neighbors over for dinner, “sometime,” so now we have to move.

Broadcasted on WeChat:

Lois Lane said, “Clark?” like she didn’t just make out with that same jawline in spandex twelve hours ago.

Trending via TikTok:

Farting, but with eye contact.

Just shared via X:

If there was a pill for procrastination… I’d probably take it tomorrow.

Seen just now on X:

Jane Austen gave us men who crossed fields in the rain. Mine left me on read, and liked someone else’s story.

As a parent you get to see just how much a baby accomplishes in its first year of life. Because you’re awake for all of it.

Jan 22, 2025

As a parent you get to see just how much a baby accomplishes in its first year of life. Because you’re awake for all of it.

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Commentary:
"Being a parent is like being part of a never-ending reality show where you're both the audience and the star 🌟. It's amazing how much a baby can achieve in their first year, and you get a front-row seat for all the action… even at 3 a.m. 😴🤱 #ParentingPerks"

accomplishment, awake, baby, first year, humor, just, life, much, parent, parenting, year

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

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Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2316 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,478

Funny Quotes Topics

15,183

Funny Quotes Images

12,478

27 minutes ago

3,432

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇩🇿 has viewed:

If the USA is so great, why did someone make the USB?

Someone from 🇸🇨 has copied:

I woke up this morning and my hair looked like a Beatles lyric. Here, there, and everywhere.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has viewed:

Lounging under the stars is top-tier therapy.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has viewed:

They should invent a weekend that goes by slowly.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has downloaded:

There’s something fundamentally wrong with the way people interact with each other on LinkedIn.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has shared:

My wife almost fell down the stairs today and that got us into a heated argument whether my gasp was out of concern or excitement.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has viewed:

Spoiler alert: Eventually you will pay a price for the way you treated people.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has shared:

After ten true crime podcasts you start to think you could probably solve a murder. After a hundred you start to think you could probably get away with one.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has copied:

Girlhood is sitting down in a boiling hot shower instead of dealing with life.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has viewed:

Imagine thinking you have any clue what’s going on.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Instagram:

My youngest had a mandatory drugs and alcohol lecture today at school, and he still can’t mix a proper drink.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

If you pick a movie that’s longer than the flight, the pilot gets a notification to fly around for a bit.

Spotted on WeChat:

People who live in glass houses should install frosted glass around the toilet part.

Just landed via YouTube:

Stop being so boyfriendable if you can’t be my boyfriend.

Broadcasted on Instagram:

Can’t believe we stayed up and screamed “Happy New Year” for this shit.

Live now on Telegram:

“Bye, have a great day, I’ll see you after school”, I tell the orange in my kid’s lunch.

Spreading quickly via Facebook:

The number of times I stand in a room, staring because I forgot why I walked in there, is embarrassingly high.

Going viral on Snapchat:

Just heard my knee crack so loud I expected it to glow in the dark.

Trending via Reddit:

I always wait 3 minutes after each post for the applause to die down.

Seen just now on Twitch:

You can make friends in a doctor’s waiting room as long as you have something broken and not something coughing.

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