Trending Funny Quotes 👇

  • Person in murder documentary: This is a small town. Things like this don’t happen here. Me: Um, based on the shows I watch, that’s all that happens in small towns.
  • Maybe hot chocolate wants to be called beautiful chocolate at least one time.
  • Whenever I feel like I hate my job, I remind myself that I could be a food taster for the emperor.
  • My superpower is holding onto stuff for years and throwing it away exactly one week before I need it.
  • Dear resealable chocolate bag, your confidence in my self-control was truly inspiring. And you were delicious.
  • Washing my hands in the sink and then wiping them on my cat, like a towel.