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Someone from ๐Ÿ‡บ๐Ÿ‡ฆ has downloaded:

What do you call it when everything pisses you off but youโ€™re good at not murdering people?

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฒ๐Ÿ‡จ has bookmarked:

Lack of sex really gets you mad at every little thing for no reason.

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No one buys my theory that red fire hydrants are filled with ketchup and yellow fire hydrants are filled with mustard.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ต๐Ÿ‡ฌ has copied:

Donโ€™t cry because itโ€™s over. Cry because you have an extra hour to think about it.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฒ๐Ÿ‡ป has viewed:

If your first child is uncomplicated, then it’s a trick of nature to get you to have a second child. The second will be an unpredictable bundle of energy that seems to get by without sleep.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฑ๐Ÿ‡บ has viewed:

Itโ€™s cool how seeing a less flattering photo of an attractive friend does not change my perception of them at all, but seeing one of myself makes me want to jump off a bridge.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ง๐Ÿ‡ซ has viewed:

Even worse than the buzzing of the mosquitoes is the moment when it suddenly stops.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฆ๐Ÿ‡ฑ has copied:

Apparently, when you treat someone the same way they treat you, they get offended!

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฆ๐Ÿ‡ฑ has viewed:

90% of the things I worry about never happen. Worrying seems to be working.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฐ๐Ÿ‡ฟ has downloaded:

The final act of love is not texting them happy birthday.

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As you get older, you suddenly realize that the Smurf who hates everything is the normal one.

Witty text about aging and perspective, highlighting the humor of believing negativity is normal.

Commentary:
Ah, the wisdom that comes with age! ๐Ÿง“๐Ÿผ๐Ÿ‘ต๐Ÿผ Who would've thought that the grumpy Smurf was the realist among the bunch? ๐Ÿค”๐Ÿ˜‚ Maybe we should all take a page out of Grouchy Smurf's book and embrace our inner skepticism! ๐Ÿ™…๐Ÿปโ€โ™‚๏ธ๐Ÿ’™ #AdultingLikeASmurf



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Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ง๐Ÿ‡ฏ has copied:

I bet God still calls it Twitter.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฌ๐Ÿ‡ช has bookmarked:

Sex is so embarrassing. Like, why did I want to do that to you?

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With age comes wisdom. And digestive trouble.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฐ๐Ÿ‡ญ has copied:

Nature just builds 30 foot trees. Without even pulling a permit.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ง๐Ÿ‡ง has copied:

Some people come into your life to remind you why you don’t wanna let anyone into your life.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฐ๐Ÿ‡ญ has bookmarked:

Yโ€™all need to stop marrying people who look just like you do but with a wig on.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ญ๐Ÿ‡น has downloaded:

I hate lying to my parents but it’s for their own good.

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Sorry for being late, I was enjoying my last few minutes of not being here.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ง๐Ÿ‡ด has viewed:

Teens don’t know how good they have it with lyrics sites. We used to have to sing shit wrong for years until the truth destroyed us.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ญ๐Ÿ‡น has viewed:

Everyone wants a drunk text until Iโ€™m doing it at noon.

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