Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇾 has bookmarked:

It takes so much energy to go inside a Walmart.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has shared:

Why is it spelled “camouflage” and not “ “?

Someone from 🇨🇩 has downloaded:

Better to be an overthinker than an overdrinker.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has copied:

The mattress in the guest room was perfectly fine until I had to sleep on it once.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has shared:

Have you ever met the human version of a headache?

Someone from 🇲🇺 has downloaded:

Going to have a hobbit boi summer (throw a huge birthday party for myself, then mysteriously vanish right after insulting everyone).

Someone from 🇧🇫 has bookmarked:

I love canceling plans. I didn’t want to go in the first place. I just wanted to be invited.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has bookmarked:

I’m busy watching the vegan couple next door arguing about the Big Mac wrapper I hid in their trash can.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has bookmarked:

If I ever go missing, promise me that you won’t put my weight on the poster.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has shared:

If Stranger Things was British, it would be called ‘Bit odd, innit?’

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Jan 2, 2026

3,310

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on X:

My kids practically have medical degrees they’re at the nurse so much.

Seen just now on X:

I hope this email finds you at relative peace with the paradox of existence.

Spotted on Pinterest:

The best part of getting older? I can wake up on my day off, without an alarm, at the same time my alarm would go off.

Making waves on Slack:

Tried to pull off a smokey eye, ended up looking like I went three rounds with McGregor.

Just landed via WeChat:

Does running away from my problems count as cardio?

Freshly posted on Slack:

I need someone to wring out my brain like a dishrag.

Spotted on TikTok:

I Knew Better, But I Did It Anyway: A Memoir

Making waves on Facebook:

Grammar is important. It’s the difference between feeling your nuts and feeling you’re nuts.

Trending via Twitch:

Skinny people are easier to get blown around by storms. These donuts are for my safety.

Just landed via TikTok:

May life treat you exactly the same way you treat servers, store clerks, senior citizens, children, and animals.

As you get older, you suddenly realize that the Smurf who hates everything is the normal one.

2 months ago

0

As you get older, you suddenly realize that the Smurf who hates everything is the normal one.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Ah, the wisdom that comes with age! 🧓🏼👵🏼 Who would've thought that the grumpy Smurf was the realist among the bunch? 🤔😂 Maybe we should all take a page out of Grouchy Smurf's book and embrace our inner skepticism! 🙅🏻‍♂️💙 #AdultingLikeASmurf

adulthood, everything, hate, humor, normal, older, perspective, realization, realize, Smurf

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I can admit that I am intrigued by people weirder than I am.

0

2 months ago

admit, am, curiosity, humor, i, intrigue, people, self-awareness, weird
Whoever invented the “skip intro” button really understood humans.

0

2 months ago

button, convenience, humans, humor, intro, inventor, skip, skip intro, technology, understanding
Having an empty laundry basket is the best 5 seconds of my life.

0

2 months ago

basket, best, chores, empty, having, humor, laundry, life, moment, satisfaction, seconds
You know how a dog tilts his head and looks confused when he hears a strange sound? Yeah, that’s how I feel when some people are talking.

0

6 months ago

confused, confusion, dog, feel, funny observation, head, head tilt, humor, i, know, looks, observation, people, sound, strange, talking, tilt
A man’s home is his castle, but his garage is his sanctuary.

0

2 months ago

castle, garage, home, humor, man, personal, personal space, sanctuary, space
My real introduction to classical music came from watching Tom & Jerry cartoons as a kid. Also how I got into sadism.

0

2 months ago

animation, appreciation, cartoons, childhood, classical, classical music, humor, i, jerry, kid, music, music appreciation, pizza, real, sadism, tom, Tom & Jerry, watching

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

49 shares on Facebook this month:

Monetizing Twitter was actually the worst thing to happen to this app. Everybody rage-baiting for 23 cents.

65 shares on Instagram this month:

Shall I cook, clean, or do the grocery shopping? Okay, reading it is.

34 shares on TikTok this month:

Living solo: where pants are optional, and snacks are unlimited.

42 shares on Snapchat this month:

This whole week could have been an email.

31 shares on Reddit this month:

You should tell different people completely different things about yourself so that they then get into arguments when gossiping about you.

91 shares on X this month:

The problem with meal prep is you have to eat the meal that you prepped.

99 shares on Discord this month:

Fellas, if your lady is mad, ask her if it’s because she’s put on some weight. That’ll calm her down.

24 shares on Pinterest this month:

Being alone is my favourite way of being.

89 shares on TikTok this month:

If you watch soccer backwards, it’s about 11 sad and 11 happy men who nag each other until they get along eventually.

20 shares on Facebook this month:

When did making sense stop making sense?

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

11 folks are currently checking 👀

There are 8 billion people in the world and I only have 3 friends, and one is annoying.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

Stop checking your phone every minute. No one loves you.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

I’ve heard so much about the “Eye of the Tiger,” but how come no one ever talks about the other four letters?

7 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m staying up past midnight this New Year’s eve. Not to welcome the new year, but to make sure this one is over.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

Don’t buy me flowers. A bouquet of KitKats will suffice.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

US etiquette question: Do you need to tip the guy at the border who reads your last five years of social media history?

16 folks are currently checking 👀

Never wrestle with a pig. You get dirty, and besides, the pig likes it.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

Having a sunburn is so humiliating. Now everyone knows I was unprepared for the realities of the wilderness. It marks me as the weakest link. The hungry animals are closing in.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

My milkshake brings all the boys to the yard, and I’m like, cool, can one of you reach the top shelf for me.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m not sure what everyone at my coworking space does for work, but I’m pretty sure one guy’s job is chewing.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,477

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇯🇵 has bookmarked:

Even wild things have slow mornings.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has viewed:

Moving is legitimately one of the worst human experiences.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has downloaded:

Tip on how best to start a conversation with me: Not at all.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has viewed:

I’m ready for the exciting last 30 seconds of the basketball game, which stretch into 25 minutes of fouls, time-outs, and commercials.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has downloaded:

Singing in the shower is all fun and games until you get shampoo in your mouth. Then it’s a soap opera!

Someone from 🇬🇷 has viewed:

Twitter is like talking to yourself in public and some random dude walking by agrees with you.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has downloaded:

People without a sense of humor should not be allowed to decide what people with a sense of humor are allowed to laugh at.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has viewed:

There’s poetry in walking away without closing the door too loud.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has viewed:

I talk a lot of shit for someone who turns every black shirt into an abstract deodorant mural.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has downloaded:

Who called it girl math and not galgebra?

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on Facebook:

People who don’t like pickles are so important because they give me their pickles.

Broadcasted on Instagram:

Lady on the streets, Cheeto crumbs in my sheets.

Going viral on Discord:

My watch battery is fully charged. So I got some time.

Just shared via Threads:

Duolingo does everything except actually teach you the language.

Just landed via Pinterest:

Before they perfected the Q-tip, you have to wonder what kinds of horrific things went wrong with tips A-P.

Going viral on TikTok:

Friends with benefits but the benefits are you getting me an internship with your father’s network.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

I do not have a “body count.” I have a curious spirit.

Trending via WeChat:

They should invent something in between coffee and narcotics.

Just landed via Discord:

I am a fool everyday, I don’t need a holiday for it.

Making waves on Instagram:

“I need a movie where the villain actually won!” Have you tried watching the news?

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