Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇹 has bookmarked:

There’s nothing worse than being in public and you touch something that shouldn’t be sticky and it is.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has downloaded:

When life gives you lemons, take the lemons. They were a gift. Maybe life thought you liked lemons. Did you think about that? No, you’re always thinking about yourself.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has copied:

I don’t want to be dramatic, but the work week continuously restarting is literally ruining my life.

Someone from 🇲🇲 has copied:

I need someone to wring out my brain like a dishrag.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has copied:

My DNA came back saying I come from a wide selection of cheeses.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has bookmarked:

No one shoots at your feet and tells you to dance anymore.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has downloaded:

Somebody somewhere today don’t know it’s their last day with all 10 fingers.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has bookmarked:

I want to text this person, but I need to have shame and self-respect.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has downloaded:

No matter how small you make that “unsubscribe” link, I’ll still find it.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has viewed:

Home is where you trust the toilet seats.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2326 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,488

Funny Quotes Topics

15,192

Funny Quotes Images

12,488

36 minutes ago

3,435

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Twitch:

Hey, I came over because the grass seemed really green here, but now that I’m looking back that grass actually looks crazy green, so I’m gonna go.

Shared recently on Facebook:

Sorry, I liked your post one second after you posted it but in my defense, I’ve had my phone in my hand since 2012.

Just landed via Reddit:

A penguin is a bird the way a hot dog is a sandwich.

Spotted on Pinterest:

I wrote a book. It’s a murder mystery. You’re in it but only for the first couple of chapters.

Just shared via Instagram:

Whoever said money can’t buy happiness, clearly never paid for a divorce.

Going viral on Telegram:

My favorite part about summer is when I get to go back inside where it’s air conditioned.

Making waves on Pinterest:

Getting left on read really gives me perspective on what Nigerian princes go through.

Trending via Discord:

Graduation advice: Stay cool. Don’t be a fool. Avoid being a tool.

Seen just now on Messenger:

I got fired for telling customers if they wanted “smoking or non-smoking”. Apparently, the correct term in the funeral home business is “cremation or burial”.

Going viral on X:

Even wild things have slow mornings.

Asking the pharmacy if they have a secret menu.

Jan 23, 2025

Asking the pharmacy if they have a secret menu.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Ah, the elusive secret menu of the pharmacy – where you can order a side of extra-strength ibuprofen with a sprinkle of anti-anxiety pills! 🌟💊 Don't forget to ask for the 'pharmacist's special' for that extra kick of mystery and intrigue. Maybe they'll even throw in a complimentary band-aid on the side! 🩹😂"

ask, asking, conversation, humor, joke, menu, pharmacy, secret, secret menu

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2326 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,488

Funny Quotes Topics

15,192

Funny Quotes Images

12,488

36 minutes ago

3,443

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇭 has viewed:

No matter how small you make that “unsubscribe” link, I’ll still find it.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has downloaded:

Get off the internet and go sniff a flower.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has bookmarked:

When I’m dying, please rush me to the nearest haunted house. I don’t want to haunt a shitty apartment by myself.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has shared:

Thought you guys should know this was only Monday. It’s also still Monday.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has shared:

There is nothing like a little tomato soup to soothe the soul, even if it’s cold, over ice, with a celery stalk and vodka.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has viewed:

My brain is 80% song lyrics.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has downloaded:

I got confused by all the yard signs, and I think I may have voted for a realtor.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has downloaded:

Everyone deserves a day to lie in bed naked and be anti-social. Just sayin’.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has shared:

Haircuts should be covered by healthcare.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has downloaded:

If you want to know who the bad guys are, it is the side who wants you arrested for memes and jokes.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Facebook:

The nice thing about wintertime is that it’s darker for longer, so you see a lot less people.

Breaking via Threads:

My dad once sneezed so hard that he set every clock back two hours.

Just shared via WeChat:

So far, no one has seriously tried to bribe me, which is a shame because I am extremely corrupt. Maybe I need a position with more power.

Shared recently on Instagram:

I Knew Better, But I Did It Anyway: A Memoir

Freshly posted on Slack:

Picking up women at the bar and then gently setting them down.

Trending via Slack:

At therapy, saying “Don’t worry about it” to every question.

Just landed via YouTube:

Play your cards right and we could be wearing matching fanny packs this summer.

Broadcasted on Telegram:

Sleep hits different when you’re not supposed to be sleeping.

Going viral on X:

Seeing a BBL in real life is a reality-altering experience.

Trending via Instagram:

Have been dipping my toe into doing Pilates, and let me tell you, women are real sickos.

Share Wordgag 🙏

© 2025. All rights reserved.

Made with ❤️ in Sydney ☀️🌴