Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇪🇬 has shared:

There’s no post-breakup healing process for girls. You just wake up one day and be like, “Ew,” and you’re free.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has copied:

A single garbageman contributes more to society before lunch than every crypto trader and op-ed writer combined does in their lifetime.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has viewed:

Every app is a dating app if you are creepy enough.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has copied:

Quit keeping your enemies closer. No wonder you feel like shit.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has viewed:

I am re-watching “Narcos,” and I have to say that for someone who smokes so much weed, Pablo Escobar gets a lot done.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has bookmarked:

I’m gonna turn all this pain into something beautiful, like a tweet or a close friends story.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has copied:

Never eat more than you can lift.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has copied:

Too self-aware for foreplay. I’m so sorry… Take that nurse costume off. I know you didn’t go to med school.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has bookmarked:

Canadian Thanksgiving isn’t the same day as Thanksgiving in the US because Canadians already put gravy on everything every day.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has viewed:

Probably the most depressed I’ve ever been in my life, except for a bunch of other times.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Jan 19, 2026

3,267

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via X:

I’m always sad when my sandwich is over.

Just shared via Twitch:

I forgot the word “espresso” so I asked the barista for a smaller, angrier coffee.

Seen just now on Reddit:

Wanna perform obscene blood rituals under the full moon, or nah?

Spotted on WhatsApp:

90% of parenting is just thinking about when you can lie down again.

Freshly posted on Slack:

I purposely overcook my holiday turkeys so I don’t have to hear anyone at the table say, “moist.”

Making waves on Discord:

There should be sympathy cards for having to go back to work after a vacation.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

Plot twist: weed is addicted to me.

Trending via WhatsApp:

Pouring Diet Coke directly into my gunshot wound.

Just shared via Reddit:

Ever since I was a little girl, I knew I wanted to cancel plans.

Freshly posted on X:

The empty spot in your bed is for snacks, not liars.

At what point is a salad no longer a salad based on how much bacon I add?

3 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Ah, the eternal salad dilemma – when does it transform from a bed of healthy greens to a sneaky delivery vehicle for crispy, delicious bacon? 🥗🥓🤔 Let's just say, if you need to go hunting for lettuce amongst the bacon bits, you might have crossed that 'salad' line!"

bacon, cooking, diet, food, humor, i, point, question, salad

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

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Social Media Stars ⭐

75 shares on Telegram this month:

I appreciate the sun for always moving in the sky in a predictable way but I also respect the moon for just kind of doing whatever.

16 shares on LinkedIn this month:

If I could do it all over again, I would ruin my life differently. I have new ideas.

95 shares on Instagram this month:

If I had a wife, I’d text her things like, ‘What’s your full name?’ and ‘When’s your birthday?’

90 shares on YouTube this month:

At the end of the day, it’s just me and me.

14 shares on Instagram this month:

New COVID variant subscribes you to random podcasts.

56 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Maturing is when you’d rather drink your bourbon half-naked on the couch than go out.

20 shares on Instagram this month:

If the universe is continuing to expand then why does my rent keep going up?

78 shares on Slack this month:

Anyone know how to create an Outlook rule that sends every email to junk, deletes it, blocks the sender, and sets my laptop on fire?

96 shares on Threads this month:

“Don’t bring a knife to a gun fight!” Okay, then explain bayonets to me.

25 shares on WeChat this month:

Reading for pleasure implies the existence of reading for pain. They’re calling it a PhD.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

24 folks are currently checking 👀

The only thing faster than an escalator is an escasooner.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

Job market so bad, I started following my dreams.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

The sexual tension between me and the person I’m not supposed to have any sexual tension with.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

I was not meant for Microsoft Teams.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

For the first time in history, you can simply post “He’s an idiot” and 90% of the world will know whom you’re talking about.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

We can’t all be underemployed creatives. Someone in the group chat needs to know what an insurance is.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m only staying up until midnight on New Year’s to watch that bloody year die.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

I put the mess in domestic.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

I only went to medical school to figure out where your arms are supposed to go when you sleep and they didn’t even teach us that.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

The great thing about having a mouse in your house is that I’m sure it’s just the one mouse, probably.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 19, 2026

Users Online

3,528

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇭 has shared:

In the future, there will be grandmas who can’t bake but have tattoos on their backs.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has downloaded:

It’s generally a good idea to start punching and throwing elbows immediately upon waking up because there may be enemies nearby.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has bookmarked:

This is the fastest December in the history of all December.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has viewed:

Whoever came up with “penny for your thoughts,” “don’t nickel and dime me,” and “another day another dollar” sure knew how to coin a phrase.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has viewed:

I have a very particular set of useless skills.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has shared:

My car is making strange noises but it’s just me singing.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has copied:

The global energy crisis could be solved if only we could harness the power of my wife slamming my car door.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has copied:

I can’t stand when people need constant validation online. Like, comment, and share if you agree.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has viewed:

Imagine hating on me and I’m just sitting there in the corner, in the spotlight, losing my religion.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has downloaded:

Shoutout to video games, man. I love having a reason to live.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Reddit:

I’m not alone. I have ants.

Just landed via Twitch:

Not sure if “life hack” exactly, but I fell down the stairs and now my whole family is being so nice and catering to my needs.

Breaking via LinkedIn:

Arab perfumes have zero chill… the entire street knows you’ve arrived.

Trending via Facebook:

The fine art of sticking my nose where it doesn’t belong.

Trending via Threads:

I forgot to take my meds so I’m looking forward to joining the squirrels in the tree to talk politics.

Broadcasted on Discord:

Bro, you will never rewatch that 7-minute video you took of fireworks. Just live in the moment.

Spotted on Pinterest:

Subtitles are for when you’re eating chips.

Trending via YouTube:

I am convinced that at least half of you are bots.

Trending via Messenger:

I signed up to the gym a few months ago and still don’t see any results. I’ll go by there this weekend and ask what’s going on.

Going viral on Instagram:

It’s so cold that men who wear shorts outside in the winter are wearing TWO pairs of shorts.

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