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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇾 has bookmarked:

I’ve been closer to death than a stable relationship.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has downloaded:

Satan: “Would you please stop sacrificing animals to me. I’m not running a zoo down here.”

Someone from 🇮🇸 has downloaded:

Having a car is crazy cause you gotta take it to the car doctor.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has bookmarked:

All this suffering on earth because someone ate an apple once.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has shared:

I want to be so rich that when I see a spider in my house I won’t kill it, I’d buy another house.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has bookmarked:

Do you mind if I smash this object of great sentimental value?

Someone from 🇮🇶 has bookmarked:

Man, you really don’t appreciate not having something in your eye until you have something in your eye.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has viewed:

I literally just went through something, and now I’m going through something else. What’s next?

Someone from 🇬🇳 has downloaded:

The fatigue is reaching levels that shouldn’t even be possible.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has copied:

Good morning, especially if they tried to make you go to rehab and you said “no, no, no.”

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

531 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,124

Funny Quotes Topics

17,272

Funny Quotes Images

15,124

Dec 27, 2025

4,053

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via LinkedIn:

He said he thinks I’m resilient to everything, so I thanked him, but on second thought, he may have low key called me a cockroach.

Just landed via Pinterest:

If you don’t like sports, you are missing a whole world of easy-going conversations with complete strangers.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

All dogs are therapy dogs. The majority are just freelancing.

Just shared via X:

Everyone’s gangsta till you’re waiting on your dog to poop.

Spreading quickly via X:

The secret to work life balance is generational wealth.

Spreading quickly via X:

The concept of hot water showers feeling so good but not actually being good for your hair or skin is disgusting.

Seen just now on Reddit:

I don’t have a welcome mat at my front door because I’m not a liar.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

I was not meant for Microsoft Teams.

Freshly posted on Slack:

I got a bumper sticker that says, “Honk if you think I’m pretty.” Sometimes I just sit at green lights until I feel better about myself.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

Worst feeling in the world is when you are loyal to all your girlfriends but your favorite one is cheating on you.

At what point is a salad no longer a salad based on how much bacon I add?

2 months ago

0

At what point is a salad no longer a salad based on how much bacon I add?

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Ah, the eternal salad dilemma – when does it transform from a bed of healthy greens to a sneaky delivery vehicle for crispy, delicious bacon? 🥗🥓🤔 Let's just say, if you need to go hunting for lettuce amongst the bacon bits, you might have crossed that 'salad' line!"

bacon, cooking, diet, food, humor, i, point, question, salad

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

You can mess up big time letting someone know you have a printer.

0

2 months ago

awkward, awkward situation, big, big time, communication, know, mess, mess up, printer, relationship, situation, someone, technology, time
Ponytails are only hot on women, bro.

0

2 months ago

attractiveness, bro, gender, hairstyle, hot, humor, only, ponytail, woman, women
It’s okay to embarrass yourself a little in the pursuit of human connection.

0

2 months ago

awkwardness, connection, embarrass, embarrassment, human, human connection, humor, interaction, little, okay, pursuit, relationship, self, social, social interaction, yourself
You told your cat how much you love him, but now it’s morning, the sun is out, you’re sober, and it’s just weird for both of you.

0

2 months ago

both, cat, just, love, morning, much, sober, sun, told, weird
Retiring my wallet condom after two years of active duty. 87 tours with 0 combat deployments.

0

4 weeks ago

active, active duty, after, combat, combat deployment, condom, deployment, duty, humor, retirement, tour, wallet, wallet condom
The only way three people can keep a secret is if two of them are dead.

0

2 months ago

dark, dark humor, dead, death, humor, keep, keeping, only, people, secret, secret keeping, three, trust

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎁🎅🎄 Christmas Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

36 shares on Snapchat this month:

Just because you haven’t found the right person, doesn’t mean you will.

38 shares on Instagram this month:

If you compliment me, my glasses fog up.

48 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I often wonder how men could discover entire continents. Mine can’t even find the butter in the fridge.

53 shares on Reddit this month:

Be the reason why a count unleashes ancient horrors onto the world when he thinks of you.

85 shares on Instagram this month:

Don’t forget to set your clocks back to seasonal depression this weekend.

54 shares on Telegram this month:

My parents think they know me.

50 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I’m at my most math when I solve a problem while creating three new ones.

87 shares on Discord this month:

Did anyone ask the daylight if it wanted to be saved?

12 shares on YouTube this month:

The only thing faster than an escalator is an escasooner.

42 shares on Discord this month:

I only look up to people that are taller than me and really that’s about the extent of it.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

10 folks are currently checking 👀

The most refreshing way to fight your personal demons is to make demonade.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m too old to be jingling all the way, I’ll jingle til about five thirty.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

Engagement photo shoots are so funny as a concept. Like girl, we believed you.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

Unmarried in your 30s should honestly be rebranded as – ‘Congrats, you didn’t pick the wrong person out of panic’.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

One day you’ll find someone obsessed with you. It’s probably going to be a squirrel.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

Spiraling out of control if anyone wants anything.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

Just had a crazy revelation: you can eat in the airport after your flight, too.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

My hobbies include using the TV as background noise while I scroll on my phone.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

I can’t go to war, I have to water my plants.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

“I’m gonna sneak past you.” No you’re not. You’ve alerted me.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

531 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,124

Funny Quotes Topics

17,272

Funny Quotes Images

15,124

Updated

Dec 27, 2025

Users Online

3,678

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇧 has copied:

People in their 20s be like, “This is my emotional support master’s degree.”

Someone from 🇳🇬 has shared:

My morning yoga routine has really helped shift my lower back pain into my upper back.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has downloaded:

Opinions are like air fryers. Everyone’s got one and they won’t stop banging on about them.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has shared:

I appreciate all clouds. Fluffy, non-fluffy… it’s how Bob Ross would’ve wanted it.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has downloaded:

I wonder if people that fall asleep right away know that we hate them.

Someone from 🇯🇴 has viewed:

How quickly family vacations go from “Omg, we only have 4 days left” to “Omg, we still have 4 days left”

Someone from 🇩🇲 has shared:

I have nothing in common with people who “forget to eat”.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has viewed:

A collective orgasm would fix the world.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has shared:

“Alcohol and beautiful women” is apparently not an appropriate answer when you are asked about your weaknesses in a job interview.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has bookmarked:

In America we have marijuana. In France they have oui’d.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Facebook:

Throwing someone under the bus sounds hard, let’s just sell ’em down the river and call it a day.

Trending via Pinterest:

Sex is cool, but have you ever received reassurance without asking for it?

Going viral on Facebook:

It’s difficult to play hard to get when I’m already hard to want.

Trending via Facebook:

Don’t judge me on my likes, I’m confusing the algorithm.

Trending via Snapchat:

Straight man stuns they/them by ordering in fluent woke.

Spreading quickly via Pinterest:

Everyone wants the bagel to be everything, but no one asks if the bagel needs anything.

Making waves on Twitch:

Me gasping and flipping off the vultures as they circle above the running track.

Going bananas on LinkedIn:

Being Leonardo DiCaprio is like driving in a school zone. You don’t go above twenty-five.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

How bad can a decision really be if nobody from the future shows up to stop you?

Spotted on Facebook:

That awkward moment when you’ve said “What?” three times, so you just say “Oh, yeah..” even though you have no idea what they said.

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