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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇹 has copied:

I ran out of toilet paper so I had to start using old newspapers. The Times are rough.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has copied:

They should invent a day where I don’t think.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has viewed:

I don’t want to sleep like a baby, I want to sleep like a cat. 14 hours, no responsibilities, zero regrets.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has bookmarked:

They did so well traumatizing us about teen pregnancy, I’m still traumatized as an adult.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has shared:

Meeting Beyoncé and telling her I loved her in Goldmember and mentioning nothing about her music career, just to see if it throws her off.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has copied:

Failed relationships can be described as so much wasted make-up.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has copied:

Google Maps should not count towards my screen time. I’m not addicted to my phone, I’m disoriented.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has downloaded:

The dumbest person you know is being told, “You’re absolutely right!” by ChatGPT.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has bookmarked:

You either get a kid who eats like a bottomless pit, or you get one that when asked what they want for lunch answers “No thanks, I had lunch yesterday.”

Someone from 🇲🇿 has bookmarked:

Probably the worst thing about pyramid schemes is how they make you advertise to all your friends and family that you are part of a pyramid scheme.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

216 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,485

Funny Quotes Topics

17,557

Funny Quotes Images

15,485

Jan 5, 2026

3,556

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Instagram:

Stop blaming everyone for all of your problems. Pick the one person you really hate and blame them for everything.

Trending via Threads:

If you need me, I’ll be in the shower pretending I can sing.

Just landed via Reddit:

The era where you dropped your phone and your battery flew out was just crazy.

Freshly posted on Slack:

Men used to build castles for women they love, but now they think replying on time is too much effort.

Just shared via Facebook:

The sexual tension when everyone arrives at a 4-way stop at the same time.

Seen just now on Instagram:

I always tell my kids that it’s okay to make mistakes just as long as you learn how to blame them on other people.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

Going on dates is hard because do I like them or do I just have sooo much fun being me.

Trending via WeChat:

Jobs be asking me for 3 references, and I think I might start doing the same. Like, let me talk to 3 happy employees, please.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

This gum has my stomach convinced food is coming.

Shared recently on Discord:

Making friends as an adult is wild because there’s so much lore to catch up on. You’ll be 3 years in and still get random drops like, ‘Oh, by the way, I used to be married.’

Back in my day there was so much toilet paper and so much eggs that we gathered at night and threw them at the houses of our enemies.

2 months ago

0

Back in my day there was so much toilet paper and so much eggs that we gathered at night and threw them at the houses of our enemies.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Ah, the good ol’ days when TP and eggs were the ultimate weapons of mischief! 🧻🥚 Nothing says "I dislike you, but also appreciate good hygiene" quite like a midnight egg toss. 🌙💥 Just imagine the chaos and the not-so-subtle message it sends to your foes! 🔥😂

activity, back, day, eggs, enemy, funny activity, gathering, houses, much, night, nostalgia, paper, throwing, toilet, toilet paper

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

The idea that wisdom teeth are just some random glitch that God forgot to patch, so now we have to pull them out with modern technology, is retarded.

0

2 months ago

dental, dental extraction, extraction, forgot, glitch, God, humor, idea, just, modern, modern technology, patch, pull, random, technology, teeth, tooth, wisdom, wisdom tooth
Show dominance by ending the year in bed.

0

2 months ago

bed, dominance, ending, humor, lazy, relaxation, show, year
Not gonna lie, to this day, I don’t know the difference between gray and grey, I just wing it.

0

5 months ago

casual, casual language, color, confusion, day, difference, gray, grey, honesty, humor, i, just, know, language, lie, spelling, wing
I don’t even want to talk about the things I had to do to that elf to get back on the nice list.

0

2 months ago

antics, back, Christmas, elf, even, holiday, humor, i, list, mischievous, nice, nice list, talk, things, want
If you don’t have a favorite spatula yet, you still have some growing up to do.

0

2 months ago

adulthood, cooking, favorite, growing, growing up, humor, kitchen, spatula, still
I can’t sleep good when I know the food is feeling cold in the fridge.

0

2 months ago

anxiety, cold, comfort, comfort food, feeling, food, food anxiety, fridge, good, humor, late, late night, night, sleep

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

86 shares on X this month:

When the executioner asks me what my final words are, I’m just going to start filibustering.

62 shares on Threads this month:

I never had kids because little kids see too many ghosts and that’s something I’d rather not know about.

36 shares on Threads this month:

Muting morons is good for your health.

56 shares on Slack this month:

Unless you’re dead wearing a sheet, you got no business ghosting people.

64 shares on X this month:

I don’t need your flipping advice, I am capable of ruining my life on my own.

55 shares on LinkedIn this month:

“Girls just want to have fun!” No, I want one million dollars cash.

32 shares on Telegram this month:

Just blocked everyone who is not in my gang so if you’re reading this, we’re robbing a bank in 12 minutes.

61 shares on WeChat this month:

Dance like nobody’s watching, except God, the NSA, and Santa Claus.

39 shares on YouTube this month:

I don’t know who needs to hear this, but no one in the world is judging you as much as you’re judging yourself. People online: Hold my beer.

95 shares on TikTok this month:

Twitter hits different, cause it’s like the only social media app you can use effectively while playing music.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

14 folks are currently checking 👀

Unfollowers, take me with you!

25 folks are currently checking 👀

If people love cheese so much, why are they mad when someone smells like cheese.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

No one talks about the horrific event of meeting someone who is exactly your type.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

Not looking for a sugar daddy, but something more of a pay pal.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

Sometimes when I get negative feedback I’m like “Hey, only I get to talk to myself that way”.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

Gender is a just a scam made by big bathroom companies to sell more bathrooms.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

Me, first week as a volunteer firefighter thinking we only rescue cats: We’re going where?

11 folks are currently checking 👀

Monday has a personal vendetta against my happiness.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

Counting calories is a great way to combine super fun things like math and not eating.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

A real smart TV would increase the volume when you started eating chips.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

216 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,485

Funny Quotes Topics

17,557

Funny Quotes Images

15,485

Updated

Jan 5, 2026

Users Online

3,678

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇩 has shared:

Why is there so much day left at the end of my patience?

Someone from 🇰🇬 has downloaded:

My favorite dance move is trying to get out of my own way.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has shared:

Wild Friday night, and by wild, I mean me and the other psychopaths at the gym.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has copied:

I don’t understand the concept of “the man of your dreams”. Every time my wife wakes up after dreaming about me, she is really pissed off about something dream me did.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has viewed:

I was dismayed to hear the story of Rumpelstiltskin. I had no idea he was like that outside of work.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has copied:

Mind if I crawl into your DMs and stay there for a while?

Someone from 🇻🇳 has downloaded:

I would love to be normal, but unfortunately, I was raised by the internet and a microwave.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has downloaded:

I feel bad for Slash. He bought a goofy hat in like 1986 and now he has to wear it until the day he dies.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has viewed:

My love language is being sent money.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has copied:

I really want an emotional support octopus so I can train it to slap people and shoplift.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

I always mean what I say, I don’t always mean to say it out loud, but I always mean it.

Spotted on X:

They should invent a day where it all makes sense.

Breaking via Discord:

How do I tell Instagram I don’t want to see guys almost eaten by gators?

Trending via Messenger:

Unpopular opinion: The moon is actually way more useful than the sun. Because the moon gives us light at night when it’s dark. The sun only gives us light during the day when it’s already bright.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

Every app is a dating app if you are creepy enough.

Just shared via Facebook:

Twitter is great because you can get good life advice from other emotionally unstable adults.

Just shared via TikTok:

The heart wants what it wants, but it’s not the only organ that has a vote.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

Female breasts are nature’s anti-stress balls. The irony is that they are connected to the biggest stress-inducing device.

Going viral on Pinterest:

Having a crush on a girl makes you think things like, yes, let me make more money.

Making waves on Instagram:

Bloopers in movie credits is a lost art form.

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