Trendy Funny Quotes

  • Women know the exact weight of their children and their age in days. Men just know that little people live with them.
  • It’s so hot out here, I saw a bird blowing on a worm before he ate it.
  • Maybe if we all sit extremely still, Monday won’t be able to see us.
  • Don’t let anyone treat you like a red flag, you’re the whole damn red carpet, baby.
  • People think I’m a minimalist, but I’m just broke.
  • I’m never more unattractive than when a bee flies in my face.