Trending Funny Quotes 👇

  • Hate it when my alarm goes off in the morning, and I’m still alive.
  • My hair will never allow me to commit any crime; I leave my DNA everywhere.
  • If I got possessed demonically, I wouldn’t even notice it. With everything else I’ve got going on.
  • At 20, I was unstoppable; at 30, I’m just unstartable.
  • Of course I do cardio. It’s called running from my problems.
  • People who talk about fruit having too much sugar scare me so bad. Please get back, you wicked witch!