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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇫 has downloaded:

That’s not my girl bestie, that’s my platonic wife.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has downloaded:

Have an early flight tomorrow, so naturally I’m going to stay up late tonight and be weird in my room.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has shared:

Wanna know a real adult life hack? Don’t tell anyone when you have a day off. Absolutely no one.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has viewed:

Some days you feel like a hotel light. You’re there, but you don’t have enough energy to really do anything.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has viewed:

The only sunscreen that’s 100% effective is abstinence.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has copied:

I will not stop replying with gifs. I am a Millennial, it’s my birthright.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has shared:

In contrast to the ship, the movie Titanic was quite well received in America.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has copied:

I passed my genetic engineering exam with flying koalas.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has shared:

Sometimes I wonder if the strangers I see when I go outside are actually the people I talk to online.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has viewed:

Will mosquitoes ever develop a pizza obsession and end their pursuit of human blood?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,427

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via Snapchat:

Being an adult means your pain never goes away, it just migrates to a new location in your body.

Making waves on WeChat:

When I trip, I always look back to see who or what did it, because it couldn’t have possibly been my fault.

Spotted on Messenger:

Apparently, I’m not even going through a lot; I just need money.

Just landed via Pinterest:

Babe, wake up, it’s stupid outside!

Spreading quickly via Telegram:

You have been a very bad boy. Now go to my room!

Broadcasted on Slack:

That moment when you dip your cookie in milk for too long and it breaks off, then you wonder why bad things happen to good people.

Trending via Pinterest:

What is the name of the course in medical school where you learn not to take your patients seriously?

Spreading quickly via Facebook:

Aliens, robots, mutant ladybugs — whoever takes over will be better than this.

Going viral on Facebook:

Why is everyone against sugar? Who stood beside you when things went wrong and you were sad? It wasn’t lettuce, for sure.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

To get my cat to eat, I tell him about all the hungry cats in Catfrica.

Be the one that gets asked to remove the hockey mask, during a conference call, on Friday the 13th.

0
Be the one that gets asked to remove the hockey mask, during a conference call, on Friday the 13th.
Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Plot twist: Instead of a mundane conference call, you become the star of a horror movie 🏒🔪 Who needs a chainsaw when you have a hockey mask on a Zoom call? Happy Friday the 13th, the sequel we never saw coming! 😂 #HockeyMaskChic"

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

72 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I usually decompose after work rather than decompress.

61 shares on Telegram this month:

Signed an Executive Order that you have to give me a little forehead kiss.

78 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I made a resolution to eat better and exercise in the new year but didn’t specify which year I was referring to.

28 shares on X this month:

They just don’t put milkshakes in the yard like they used to.

63 shares on WeChat this month:

Telling men I have a boyfriend doesn’t chase them away anymore, so I’ve started telling them I have a child.

13 shares on Telegram this month:

Introverts be like “I know a place”, then go home.

92 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Do you know how much trauma it took to be this funny?

13 shares on YouTube this month:

Bro, you’re not allowed anymore to have your tongue drop out of your mouth and form a stair case when you see my wife.

18 shares on Discord this month:

“I bought this while depressed” should be an acceptable reason to get a full refund on a return.

20 shares on WeChat this month:

It was the becestershire of times, it was the worcestershire of times.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

22 folks are currently checking 👀

I’ll let you guys know if the psych ward has wifi.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m a big fan of that post-laundry feeling when you’ve got all your A-list clothes back in the game.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

I had zero respect for my boss until he started appearing exclusively by hologram.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

I haven’t broken a mirror lately, but my water broke and I’ve had seven years of kids crawling into my bed.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

It’s the perfect time of year to focus on my indoor hobbies, like lying down in a dark room and feeling insane.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

Farting, but with eye contact.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

If Keith Richards survived the ’70s, the ’80s, and 1.2 million Marlboros, I can probably survive anything.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

It’s Friday. I ran out of small talk on Tuesday. Please leave me alone.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m not afraid of ghosts because everyone who’s mad at me is still alive.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

Sometimes I want to go back in time and punch myself in the face.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,476

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇾🇪 has bookmarked:

I suffer from awesomnia.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has downloaded:

My husband clearly believes that chairs just magically push themselves back in.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has bookmarked:

If they cancel the Simpsons, we will no longer be able to see into the future.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has downloaded:

I’m not religious, but if someone is turning water into wine, let’s take a second look.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has copied:

It’s this time again when you have to choose between coffee and mulled wine in the morning.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has viewed:

I hate that Al has now caused me to question the authenticity of cute animal videos online. I don’t even know if this baby penguin actually wore a beret to go buy a tiny baguette in Paris.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has bookmarked:

12 people have been to the moon and only 8 people have won Takeshi’s Castle. Really makes you think.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has bookmarked:

I hope one day I will sleep before midnight like normal humans do. Every day I sleep tomorrow, even yesterday I slept today.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has viewed:

It’s funny how sometimes you buy a book, then read it in two days, and sometimes you buy a book, and it lives on your bookshelf for 12 years.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has copied:

lol is punctuation and LOL is laugh out loud.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Pinterest:

Actors in black and white movies were often putting their lives in danger during driving scenes, as they weren’t able to tell if the traffic light was red or green.

Just shared via Telegram:

I need someone to look at me the way I look at memes.

Going viral on Instagram:

Men, it’s really simple. We want everything, but nothing, at the same time or different times, sometimes but not always.

Freshly posted on X:

Went out of town, came back and the roomba changed all the locks.

Breaking via Reddit:

You know when you have so much to do that you just sit down and do nothing?

Trending via Pinterest:

A house doesn’t have to be haunted to scare me, I’ve seen the listing prices.

Going viral on Instagram:

Once you are able to find humor in any situation, you’ve either reached enlightenment or you’re just a little unhinged.

Seen just now on Messenger:

So I think the mammals have now ravaged this planet long enough. It’s time for the reptiles to take over again.

Going viral on Twitch:

Probably the most humiliating thing that can happen when you die is that you come back as a fitted-sheet ghost.

Making waves on WeChat:

Distance is my jam; solitude is my peanut butter.

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