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10,000+ funny quotes

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Someone from 🇰🇳 has copied:

Monday morning looks like Jack Nicholson breaking through the door in The Shining.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has shared:

After having a week off, my boss returns to work today. Please respect my privacy during this difficult time.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has downloaded:

Always stay crazy. Otherwise you’ll go crazy.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has copied:

Note: Press the button on the elevator as often as possible to activate the secret express function and speed up the thing.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has shared:

Millionaires and multi-billion dollar companies be like, “We’re doing our part by asking the poor to donate to the poor.”

Someone from 🇲🇪 has copied:

Did the people you had a crush on always like you back or are you funny?

Someone from 🇧🇦 has copied:

Your Majesty” would be the best name for a cat.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has downloaded:

If you can reach enlightenment, can you also reach endarkenment?

Someone from 🇫🇷 has downloaded:

Human interaction is a great way to learn all the new swear words your subconscious mind has come up with in the lab.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has copied:

I need a horror movie where a kidnapper abducts a possessed child and finds out.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,626

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Discord:

Ever since I was little, I knew I wanted people to watch how they speak to me.

Making waves on TikTok:

I don’t make mistakes, I date them.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

Cause of death: Trying to draw eyebrows on the neighbor’s cat.

Spreading quickly via WeChat:

The feelings I have for Tom Cruise are the closest approximation I have to what patriotism must feel like.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

Rental car companies seem so insanely helpless at their one job. You show up at the airport, reservation in hand, and they’re like, ‘Wait, really? You wanted a car? Sorry, you totally caught me off guard.’

Making waves on Slack:

I hope this 17th text in a row with no response finds you well.

Going viral on Threads:

I love spending my parents’ money, they must pay for bringing me into this world.

Spreading quickly via Instagram:

I shouldn’t have to go to work if it’s rainy. I should get to stare out the window all day like a cat.

Just shared via X:

It must be hard for a vampire to floss their fangs when they can’t see their reflection in a mirror.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

Me, one week before the new year: Not to brag, but I have enough money to live comfortably for the rest of the year.

Being lazy has its advantages. I still have most of my winter fat from last year.

1 month ago

Playful quote about laziness and winter fat retention, humorous and lighthearted in tone.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Who needs a winter coat when you've got last year's padding still intact? 😂 Embracing laziness like a boss! 💪 #WinterPreparedness"

advantages, being, fat, humor, i, last, lazy, procrastination, self-deprecation, still, winter, year

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Social Media Stars ⭐

72 shares on Telegram this month:

Girl to girl: Please have at least two boyfriends.

94 shares on Facebook this month:

Welcome to adulthood: your chin looks lonely, here’s another one.

19 shares on Slack this month:

I’m not stubborn, my way is just better than yours.

24 shares on Instagram this month:

It’s jarring for me when there are British people in the Midwest. How did you get this far inland?

70 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Lord, grant me the serenity to accept the terms and conditions I do not read.

30 shares on YouTube this month:

An apple a day may keep the doctor away, but some silly a day keeps the boredom at bay.

14 shares on Twitch this month:

The older I get, the more I hate making extra stops after work. I drive home like I’m late for the house.

14 shares on Twitch this month:

Being depressed is so embarrassing. It’s like, look at me, guys. I have nothing positive to say, and I make everything miserable.

65 shares on TikTok this month:

Your honor, if it pleases the court, here’s Wonderwall.

95 shares on Facebook this month:

When does hibernation actually begin? I wanna take part this year.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇻🇳 has bookmarked:

Going out on Friday night will always be better than going out on a Saturday night.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has copied:

I’m super lazy today. It’s like normal lazy but I’m wearing a cape.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has bookmarked:

You sound unhinged. Let’s go get mugshots.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has copied:

Major cheat code in life: ask for the big, unreasonable thing. The universe meets you at your level of audacity.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has shared:

Dissecting an alien and getting bitterly jealous at their crazy organs.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has bookmarked:

And what do we do when we are sad? “Add to cart”

Someone from 🇸🇦 has viewed:

The gap in my resume is because I was trying to reach enlightenment for 5 years.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has downloaded:

My husband is the do-it-yourself type. I asked him to take out the garbage and he said, “do it yourself.”

Someone from 🇻🇨 has shared:

I support Bluesky in theory, but in practice, it’s like a JRPG with no bad guys.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has bookmarked:

You ask for a Swedish massage and then get mad when I roll meatballs on your back.

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on Telegram:

You wear a white shirt and all of a sudden everybody wants to go eat spaghetti.

Trending via Reddit:

Disney set unrealistic standards of how often woodland creatures would help me clean and do laundry if I just sang out my window.

Trending via Twitch:

I thought there was a spider on the rug but it was just yarn. It’s dead yarn now though.

Spotted on YouTube:

Roses are red, violets are blue. Your parents are very disappointed in you.

Going viral on TikTok:

TikTok? I still call it a watch.

Making waves on Instagram:

They should invent more hobbies for people without skills or patience.

Making waves on WeChat:

Went outside. Touched grass. Got bit by bugs. Zero stars.

Going viral on Messenger:

Hear me out, a Q-Tip that doesn’t bounce out the trash can when you throw it away.

Spotted on Discord:

It’s funny how sometimes you buy a book, then read it in two days, and sometimes you buy a book, and it lives on your bookshelf for 12 years.

Spotted on Snapchat:

They can steal your recipe, but the sauce won’t taste the same.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Being lazy has its advantages. I still have most of my winter fat from last year.

Are you gonna meow for me or what, bro?

Men, why do you still have the boxes your electronics came in?

The enemy of my enemy is my friend. But I’m my own worst enemy, so I guess I’m also my best friend.

What archaeologists are really looking for is a hand digging back.

Never say never. Unless someone asks you when you want to go camping. Then the right answer is always “Never.”

If you saw me licking the plate after the charcuterie was finished, no you didn’t.

Social Media Stars ⭐

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Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Being lazy has its advantages. I still have most of my winter fat from last year.

Keep the laugh going 😂

Are you gonna meow for me or what, bro?

Men, why do you still have the boxes your electronics came in?

The enemy of my enemy is my friend. But I’m my own worst enemy, so I guess I’m also my best friend.

What archaeologists are really looking for is a hand digging back.

Never say never. Unless someone asks you when you want to go camping. Then the right answer is always “Never.”

If you saw me licking the plate after the charcuterie was finished, no you didn’t.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨