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10,000+ funny quotes

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Someone from 🇫🇲 has shared:

In the 80s, you could literally shrink your kids with a shrink-ray, and your wife wouldn’t divorce you. I’m pretty sure I saw a documentary film about it.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has downloaded:

I was not prepared for my knees to sound like someone is breaking spaghetti noodles in half every time I go up the stairs.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has shared:

In the 90s, you’d always find your way to some stranger’s house.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has viewed:

Babe, wanna come over and watch me apply for jobs on Indeed until I start to cry.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has viewed:

Your 20s are for developing attachments to people who will haunt you for the rest of your life.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has shared:

Weekends are getting shorter and shorter. You blink and it’s already Sunday 5pm.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has copied:

I would like you to meet my significant other. Her name is Cheese.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

330 this month

Funny Quotes Total

14,923

Funny Quotes Topics

17,095

Funny Quotes Images

14,923

Updated

Dec 12, 2025

Users Online

3,766

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

Every time I think I’m cooked, God moves mountains for me. That’s so nice of Him.

Going bananas on LinkedIn:

Please don’t match my crazy. One of us has to be rational here, and it’s definitely not going to be me.

Live now on Reddit:

My grandmother is a shining example of how you can live until 90 years of age, sustained by nothing but spite and biscuits.

Just shared via Slack:

Some people are living proof that brain failure does not immediately lead to death.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

Everyone’s all up in arms about how undemocratic the electoral college is and yet we let our weather be decided by a single unelected groundhog.

Making waves on Snapchat:

You ever liked a song so much you restart it before it even finishes?

Going viral on Pinterest:

What’s it called when you mentally want to be horny but you’re physically not at all?

Being lazy has its advantages. I still have most of my winter fat from last year.

1 month ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Who needs a winter coat when you've got last year's padding still intact? 😂 Embracing laziness like a boss! 💪 #WinterPreparedness"

advantages, being, fat, humor, i, last, lazy, procrastination, self-deprecation, still, winter, year

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

All mushrooms are edible. Some only once.

1 month ago
danger, edible, food, humor, joke, mushroom, once
Told someone I’m as “single as a pringle and as neato as a dorito” and they blocked me immediately.

2 months ago
blocked, dating, dorito, humor, me, neato, pringle, quirkiness, relationship, single, someone
I’m so old that when I take a walk down memory lane, I get lost.

4 months ago
age, getting, getting lost, humor, i, joke, lane, lost, memory, nostalgia, old, old age, take, walk, walking
Forgot how fun it is to post IG stories. I feel like a female filmmaker.

1 month ago
content, content creation, creation, feel, female, filmmaker, forgot, fun, i, ig, Instagram, Instagram story, media, post, social, social media, story
Having a girlfriend is insane because you can literally text them, and they will respond.

4 months ago
communication, girlfriend, having, humor, insane, insanity, literally, relationship, respond, text, texting
One of my biggest fears during a zombie apocalypse is having to sleep without a fan.

1 month ago
apocalypse, comfort, fan, fear, fears, having, humor, sleep, survival, zombie

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇹 has shared:

Be yourself cause no one wants to be like you!

Someone from 🇦🇹 has downloaded:

The only problem I have with chocolate is that one minute it’s there and the next it’s not.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has viewed:

I’m stuck between “I need to save money” and “You only live once.”

Someone from 🇯🇵 has viewed:

Welcome to middle age, where you wake up hungover whether you’ve had a drink or not.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has downloaded:

My favorite type of gender reveal is the one where they just tell me and I don’t have to go to a party to find out.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has copied:

“Fries or salad?” sums up every adult decision you have to make.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has shared:

I wanna be crazy rich. I’m already crazy, so I’m half way there.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on LinkedIn:

I have lived way too many lives for people to think they know everything about me.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

If you’re not getting spoiled, then spoil yourself.

Seen just now on Messenger:

Hello taxi, off to Friday please. Money doesn’t matter!

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

Sorry I can’t have a pleasant, safe and affordable life, my government said no.

Spotted on Slack:

Normalize mouthing the lyrics to the song in your headphones in public.

Making waves on Pinterest:

I’m really glad that light only attracts insects. Imagine wild boars would come knocking at your windows all the time.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Being lazy has its advantages. I still have most of my winter fat from last year.

All mushrooms are edible. Some only once.

Told someone I’m as “single as a pringle and as neato as a dorito” and they blocked me immediately.

I’m so old that when I take a walk down memory lane, I get lost.

Having a girlfriend is insane because you can literally text them, and they will respond.

One of my biggest fears during a zombie apocalypse is having to sleep without a fan.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

If the universe is continuing to expand then why does my rent keep going up?

Why does it take 5-7 business days to refund my money when it took 5-7 seconds to take it out of my account?

I’ve literally never copied and pasted text and thought, “I’m so glad it kept the formatting and font from the other document.”

Oligarchy sounds like something you dip your breadstick in at the olive garden.

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

I want to make you say, “Oh God,” in a way that makes God nervous.

We really grew up in the best era to be a kid, and the worst era to be an adult.

Nighttime is when I remember that one weird thing I said in 6th grade, and feel bad about it forever.

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Phone so dry, I caught myself checking the weather.

DUI stands for: don’t Uber, I got this.

These weekends are starting to feel as long as a lunch break.

Hello, my voicemail is currently unavailable. To leave a message please speak slowly and clearly into the nearest toaster.

As long as you’re still fishing fruit flies out of your drink, you’re not drunk.

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

They should invent a self-checkout where someone else scans the items and puts them in a bag.

Dating apps never work for me because I need at least two years of friendship charged with weird sexual tension to even consider falling in love.

All I’m dealing with is broken people. Lord, if I’m a mechanic, please tell me.

God: “I used to work in mysterious ways but now I’m unemployed.”

Even if you like anime, you gotta still wear deodorant, man.

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Being lazy has its advantages. I still have most of my winter fat from last year.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

All mushrooms are edible. Some only once.

Told someone I’m as “single as a pringle and as neato as a dorito” and they blocked me immediately.

I’m so old that when I take a walk down memory lane, I get lost.

Forgot how fun it is to post IG stories. I feel like a female filmmaker.

Having a girlfriend is insane because you can literally text them, and they will respond.

One of my biggest fears during a zombie apocalypse is having to sleep without a fan.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

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