Trendy Funny Quotes

  • The ‘E’ in my name stands for ‘Everything you need.’
  • It’s a beautiful morning. Lots of people out walking their phones.
  • If my calculator had a history, it would be more embarrassing than my browser history.
  • Why can’t my fat leave me like everything else does?
  • In an alternate universe, sex dreams of me.
  • My security system is just a bunch of my unpaid bills taped to my front door.