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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇾🇪 has shared:

I either text back right away or never, because I saw your text, replied in my head but forgot to actually type it.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has shared:

The purpose of life is to go insane sooner or later.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has viewed:

“Machines will soon be as smart as people.” Ok, but which people?

Someone from 🇬🇼 has downloaded:

This is not an empty room, this is a very successful anti-party.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has bookmarked:

Having a teenager is fun because the voice in my head that questions everything I do now has a friend.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has downloaded:

Who called it a shopaholic and not a boughtanist?

Someone from 🇪🇹 has downloaded:

It’s awesome when people honk at you for not moving when you’re letting people cross. You’re right, bro, I should just annihilate this family of four.

Someone from 🇹🇳 has shared:

I think I look pretty okay for my age. It’s just when I hold menus two feet from my face that I know the ruse is up.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has downloaded:

You know who’s gonna love you in the end? Your dog.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has shared:

It’s okay, wobbly chair, I’m unstable too.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

240 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,509

Funny Quotes Topics

17,577

Funny Quotes Images

15,509

Updated

Jan 7, 2026

Users Online

3,547

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Slack:

Odd—my boss told me to meet him at the abandoned quarry at midnight for my performance evaluation.

Trending via YouTube:

I’m not lazy, I just really enjoy doing nothing.

Just landed via Twitch:

I am absolutely unstoppable, unless it’s a bit rainy.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

Who needs a period calendar when I know I’ll have it when I’m crying over nonsense things.

Just landed via TikTok:

Hear me out: agenda reveal parties for people we don’t trust.

Shared recently on Discord:

Breaking news is really breaking me.

Going bananas on Messenger:

The final stage of being single is when you listen to a love song and no one comes to mind; at that point, you’ve achieved absolute singularity.

Live now on Facebook:

Making things weird is probably the only thing I’m good at.

Spotted on Facebook:

Don’t tell me about Stockholm Syndrome, I woke up at 6 AM on my first day of vacation wondering how things were going at work.

Trending via Twitch:

Born to say “Who the hell raised you to be this stupid.” Forced to work in groups.

By the time someone says, ‘To make a long story short,’ it’s too late.

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By the time someone says, ‘To make a long story short,’ it’s too late.
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Commentary:
Ah, the classic "long story short" – the ultimate signal that you're already in for a narrative marathon! 🏃‍♂️💨 It's like putting a speed bump after driving through a pot-hole-ridden road. 🚗😂 Just embrace the inevitable tale-telling adventure and settle in for the long haul! 🎢✨

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

81 shares on X this month:

I don’t have a nervous system, I am a nervous system.

43 shares on Snapchat this month:

Waffles are just pancakes with convenient boxes to hold your syrup.

21 shares on Snapchat this month:

Girls won’t admit it, but they don’t like super fine dudes; they like medium ugly, funny dudes that dress nice.

76 shares on TikTok this month:

I think every app should, by law, let you deactivate all of its short-form video content.

67 shares on Facebook this month:

It’s okay to admit you want my lips on yours.

22 shares on Messenger this month:

Oftentimes, I like the idea of an activity. The actual doing of said activity, not so much.

51 shares on X this month:

People in my real life annoy me, so I come online to annoy you.

96 shares on Threads this month:

You know you’re a bad cook when the dog won’t lick the plate.

67 shares on Threads this month:

I wish people had mute buttons in real life.

44 shares on Reddit this month:

Babies invented being in a bad mood for no reason, and they continue to innovate in the field.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

8 folks are currently checking 👀

Just a little reminder to laugh as much as you can, stay hydrated, and don’t let shitty people kill your vibe.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

Why would I take the high road when I could take the psychopath?

19 folks are currently checking 👀

“I’m sure it’ll turn up” – Translation: I’m bored of helping you look.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

All of humanities problems could be solved with a large meteor.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

For me, math class is like watching a foreign movie without subtitles.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

Age is an issue of mind over matter. If you don’t mind, it doesn’t matter.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

It’s not magic, but I bet you are reading this post with one leg on top of the other.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

Weed smokers be like, “Hold up — before we go to the store, I have to get scared.”

10 folks are currently checking 👀

That sound when you close the cupboard and hear something fall inside, that’s the sound of somebody else’s problem.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

If they treat you like an option, leave them like a choice, and make your exit as dramatic as a Netflix season finale.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

240 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,509

Funny Quotes Topics

17,577

Funny Quotes Images

15,509

Updated

Jan 7, 2026

Users Online

3,368

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇳 has copied:

Me: Do you have the movie I want to watch? Netflix: No, but we have hundreds of movies that you don’t want to watch!

Someone from 🇿🇲 has bookmarked:

Oh, gross. I didn’t know there was protein in this powder. I was only drinking it for the lead.

Someone from 🇯🇴 has shared:

Got a new Roomba but keeping the old one to see if I can get them to fight.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has bookmarked:

The theory that two stacked beds can’t be converted into two regular beds has been debunked.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has viewed:

I’ve got 50 minutes to make it look like I’ve been flossing for the last 6 months.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has shared:

The human body is incredible. It’s like, “Oh, you’re stressed and sad? Here, enjoy this acne.”

Someone from 🇸🇷 has downloaded:

Everyone’s worried about a recession, but babes, we’re heading for a dark age.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has bookmarked:

I drive like I’m immortal.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has viewed:

I hate it when I turn on the car in the morning and the music starts blasting… It’s like, woah, I’m not the same person I was last night.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has viewed:

I bought a little notebook to keep track of who’s above the law.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on WeChat:

My coffee and I used to be hot. Now, we’re just bitter.

Freshly posted on Slack:

Enjoying the consequences of my actions.

Just landed via Instagram:

I have a brain that wants to be alone, and a heart that wants to be loved.

Trending via LinkedIn:

Milk teeth are wasted on children. A new set of teeth would be a lot more useful when you’re older.

Seen just now on Telegram:

I love all the Winter Olympic events, sliding downhill on a piece of wood, sliding downhill on two pieces of wood, sliding downhill in a piece of wood. All amazing.

Trending via Instagram:

Hate all political parties and you’ll never be disappointed.

Spreading quickly via Telegram:

The older I get, I realize my mom was right, but I just didn’t like her tone.

Just landed via Reddit:

White Lotus is a cautionary tale about taking time off from work.

Going bananas on Instagram:

I need a reasonable job. Something like $3,000 an hour. Nothing too wild.

Shared recently on YouTube:

If I got a Dollar for every time I thought about you, I would start thinking about you.

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