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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇫🇮 has bookmarked:

Life is hard. It is harder if you are stupid.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has shared:

Welcome to your 50s… you can now fall asleep sitting up on the couch at any given moment.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has bookmarked:

There’s nothing I hate more than being comfy in bed and suddenly needing to pee.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has bookmarked:

I’m a red flag, but the material is quality.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has viewed:

The opposite of “taking candy from a baby” is “putting sunscreen on a toddler.”

Someone from 🇨🇻 has downloaded:

Noise-canceling headphones aren’t enough, I need everyone to shut up.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has downloaded:

My favorite part of socializing is when it’s over.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has bookmarked:

Every man learns for himself the uselessness of owning an iPad.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has shared:

It’s weird how the UFO’s always seem to crash in places that only the government and military have access to.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has shared:

The pointless tidy-up before a play date.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

244 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,513

Funny Quotes Topics

17,581

Funny Quotes Images

15,513

Jan 7, 2026

3,565

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on YouTube:

Trust my gut? The thing that makes weird gurgling noises immediately when a work meeting goes quiet.

Going viral on Facebook:

When you’re sad, find two equally sad friends and form a cryangle.

Spotted on Slack:

The highlight of my weekends is slipping into something more comfortable and putting my feet up.

Spotted on Threads:

Handsome, you better get to the point, my beer buzz is starting to wear off.

Making waves on Slack:

I’m changing the game. I’m starting to thank people from the top of my heart.

Just landed via TikTok:

Pro tip: Avoid the news for a couple of days and have some fun.

Going bananas on Facebook:

Grateful to be living in the “Tetris when it’s going too fast and blocks are helplessly piling up” era of human history.

Going bananas on Snapchat:

Girls actually do love nice guys. It’s just that you’re not as nice a guy as you think you are…

Just landed via Messenger:

I love coming home and being at home and sitting inside my home and staying home.

Going viral on Instagram:

When I see chocolate, I hear two voices inside me. One says: “Eat it!”. The other says: “Did you hear that? You’re supposed to eat it!”

By the time someone says, ‘To make a long story short,’ it’s too late.

2 months ago

0

By the time someone says, ‘To make a long story short,’ it’s too late.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Ah, the classic "long story short" – the ultimate signal that you're already in for a narrative marathon! 🏃‍♂️💨 It's like putting a speed bump after driving through a pot-hole-ridden road. 🚗😂 Just embrace the inevitable tale-telling adventure and settle in for the long haul! 🎢✨

communication, conversation, humor, irony, late, short, someone, story, time

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

A car window made specifically for a dog to stick its head out of is called a sunwoof.

0

2 months ago

accessory, car, car window, dog, dog travel, funny term, head, humor, pet, pet accessory, stick, sunwoof, term, travel, window, wordplay
I’ll marry your mom just so I can ground you.

0

2 months ago

ground, humor, i, just, marry, mom, parent, relationship
If you’re lost in the woods, start talking loudly about politics. Someone will come to argue with you.

0

2 months ago

argue, conversation, humor, lost, loud, politics, someone, start, survival, talking, woods
Figure skating is so niche that sometimes I walk in the rink, and there’s an Olympic medalist there.

0

3 weeks ago

figure, figure skating, humor, i, ice, ice rink, joke, medalist, niche, niche sport, Olympic, Olympic medalist, rink, skating, sometimes, sport, sport joke, walk
If I’m ever found dead in the woods, it’s probably because I was trying to pet a bear.

0

2 months ago

bear, danger, dead, ever, found, humor, i, irony, nature, pet, trying, wildlife, woods
“You look tired!” Bro, I want to stop existing.

0

2 months ago

bro, dark, dark humor, exhaustion, existing, humor, i, relatable, stop, tired, want

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

74 shares on Pinterest this month:

Your life can’t fall apart if you never had it together.

36 shares on Reddit this month:

Please don’t ask me what my hobbies are, I lost interest in life back in 6th grade.

72 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I hate that I present as an independent woman who doesn’t need any help. It’s a facade. Help me.

63 shares on Messenger this month:

You’re really hot. Wanna share microplastics?

88 shares on Slack this month:

There are only two kinds of people, and I avoid them both.

65 shares on Telegram this month:

Hotel elevators are hell for those of us who are small-talk failures. The guy asked me, “You just get in today too?” and I said, “Well, no,” then stood in silence.

97 shares on Discord this month:

Bartender asked me to give his place a one-star Google review to keep the vibe lowkey. Insane method.

77 shares on Twitch this month:

I remember when a computer didn’t automatically connect to the internet, it used to make a screaming noise. We should have listened.

76 shares on Reddit this month:

Took my car to the mechanic because it was making a terrible noise. He removed the Mariah Carey Christmas CD, and now it’s fine.

26 shares on Slack this month:

Our parents are going to be shocked when they find out that most of us are serious about not getting married.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

7 folks are currently checking 👀

I missed out on drowning tragically young in a suburban swimming pool.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

In the morning: Tired! At lunchtime: Tired! In the evening: Tired! In bed: “Everybody dance now!”

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Whoever came up with the spelling for “receipt” was an idiopt.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

They say an apple a day keeps a doctor away. But what do I need to eat to keep everyone away?

17 folks are currently checking 👀

I come from a long line of people with something wrong with them.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

Menstruation is bizarre. It’s like something David Lynch would have came up with.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

Interviewer: So why do you want this job? Me: I don’t. I just need money.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

Started from the bottom and I’m still ain’t shit.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

“It can’t get any worse than this”, I lie to myself knowing it will absolutely get worse.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

8 planets, 204 countries, thousands of islands, 7 seas, 8 billion people, and I’m single.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

244 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,513

Funny Quotes Topics

17,581

Funny Quotes Images

15,513

Updated

Jan 7, 2026

Users Online

3,304

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇦 has downloaded:

My parents told me I could be anything I wanted so I became unacceptable.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has shared:

No camera can do justice to a landscape that melts your heart.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has copied:

I don’t get treadmills, I mean if I walk I better reach somewhere.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has shared:

Call me old, but these days I just get excited to go home and lay down.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has downloaded:

I’m sorry I said “I look forward to working with you” during our wedding vows.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has shared:

I can do a lot of things, but listening to someone chew is not one of them.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has bookmarked:

You have never experienced true fear until a poster falls off the wall in the middle of the night.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has shared:

Should I be worried that buzzards circle me when I go for a run?

Someone from 🇲🇺 has downloaded:

Your first non-broke girlfriend will change your whole perspective about relationships.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has downloaded:

Men be like “I hate drama,” and then have love triangles, secret babies, a wife, side chick, ex that’s still around, breadcrumbs, and unhealed trauma.

Social Media Log 💫

Breaking via Reddit:

I’m fighting for free speech. Mine, not yours, so be quiet.

Live now on Discord:

You can count the number of times my wife has agreed with me on one hand, if you don’t have fingers.

Spotted on Facebook:

Sometimes it’s not a secret, it’s just none of your business.

Going viral on Discord:

I’m old enough to remember when regular websites were usable.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

My wife refuses to hire a housekeeper because she doesn’t want them to see this mess.

Freshly posted on Discord:

Apparently, “I just don’t want to” is not a valid reason when your boss asks you why you’re not coming in today.

Seen just now on Telegram:

Which one of you shrunk all of my jeans?

Making waves on TikTok:

Remember, when asking for a raise, it is considered customary to be sober.

Just landed via TikTok:

Seeing people exercising outside my house really motivated me to get up and close the blinds.

Trending via Messenger:

Just a friendly reminder folks. Don’t forget to set back your rooster this weekend.

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