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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇫🇲 has bookmarked:

My cat is so finicky. I finally gave up and taught him how to order Uber Eats for himself.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has downloaded:

Nobody is more cold-blooded than a toddler, just saying what they see and feel.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has downloaded:

They should make you watch a training video and pass a little test before you’re allowed to touch the office coffee maker.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has viewed:

Carrying a pizza in public feels like you’re showing off.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has downloaded:

The absolute hottest thing you can do in front of a woman is tame a horse, but unfortunately, modern life affords us little opportunities for that.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has bookmarked:

Trying to explain that I’m fascinated by Japan for wood joinery reasons and not nerd or pervert reasons.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has copied:

I have money, then I don’t have money, it all happens so fast!

Someone from 🇮🇷 has shared:

My nickname in high school was “who?”

Someone from 🇻🇪 has bookmarked:

ChatGPT, what do you do when you find out your boyfriend’s been using ChatGPT to write you messages?

Someone from 🇨🇫 has viewed:

I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again because I have a terrible memory.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Feb 3, 2026

3,644

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via YouTube:

I love unfollowing people. You have displeased me for the last time. Leave my sight.

Broadcasted on YouTube:

My therapist says he can’t take any more of my talk and that I should join a group. So, here I am.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

Eating cold ravioli counts as breakfast if you’re still wearing yesterday’s clothes.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

Welcome to your 40’s: See that kid dressed up like a cop? He is a cop.

Going viral on Messenger:

I like my men like I like my coffee. Not that hot but still making me anxious.

Making waves on Threads:

Putting mental health before my education is a good idea until it affects my education, which affects my mental health, which affects my education.

Trending via Pinterest:

I miss when YouTubers would just record for, like, 20 minutes, and upload the whole thing completely unedited.

Making waves on Slack:

Short men store so much anger in their little body.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

So tired of looking in my wallet and not finding $10,000

Live now on Snapchat:

Spotify Wrapped, but for all your bad decisions this year.

Chocolate doesn’t ask silly questions, chocolate understands.

3 weeks ago

Playful quote about chocolate's comforting understanding and non-judgmental nature.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Isn't chocolate just the best therapist you never knew you needed? 🍫🤔 It's like a delicious magical being that never judges, just melts in your mouth and makes everything better! 😋✨ Who needs existential questions when you've got chocolate on your side? 😉✌️

chocolate, comfort, humor, indulgence, questions, silly, treat, understanding

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

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Social Media Stars ⭐

99 shares on Messenger this month:

Please take your Apple Watch off if you are wearing a dress or formal attire. You look like a spy kid.

33 shares on Messenger this month:

Just because you are unique, doesn’t mean you are useful.

80 shares on Telegram this month:

A middle finger hits different when your nails are done.

28 shares on Messenger this month:

Old enough to know better. Young enough to do it anyway.

74 shares on X this month:

An air mattress is the best way to tell your houseguests not to stay too long.

60 shares on YouTube this month:

Welcome to your 50s, there’s a wrong way to stretch now.

15 shares on X this month:

My talents are so hidden that I can’t even find them.

41 shares on TikTok this month:

Looking to sell my DeLorean. Great shape, low mileage. Only driven from time to time.

28 shares on Messenger this month:

If you’re cremated after you die, you can be put into an hourglass and continue to participate in family game night.

62 shares on Telegram this month:

Girls will be like “I have so much to do” then grab some snacks and start watching a 10 part docuseries on serial killers.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

9 folks are currently checking 👀

If my dog knew how many photos I have of him sleeping, he’d file a restraining order against me.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

American homes are so strange because, why is your front door in the living room?

14 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m going to try and be less of a people pleaser, is everyone ok with that?

20 folks are currently checking 👀

Let’s all stand up against iron deficiency (but not too fast).

12 folks are currently checking 👀

Scrolling should count as cardio.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

Horoscope: You will give blood generously this week, but it won’t be your idea.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

Does anyone know if there’s a career in being a piece of shit?

5 folks are currently checking 👀

At my age, I’m more frightened of a hip break than a heartbreak.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

Oh, to be a rich, beautiful woman in her big car, driving to buy overpriced groceries to stock up her breathtaking kitchen in her gorgeous house.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

I have more photos of food on my phone than I do of my children.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,545

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇪 has downloaded:

I never make the same mistake twice. I make it three four times, you know, just to be sure!

Someone from 🇾🇪 has shared:

Rap fell off when literacy stopped being a requirement.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has viewed:

Having a crush should be considered a form of self-harm.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has viewed:

You think you’re cool and then you see a video of yourself running.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has copied:

The police said I was a ‘suspect’, but I prefer being called a ‘person of interest’.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has shared:

All my bills say “Outstanding.” I guess I am good to go.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has downloaded:

The Jaws theme stays on during sex.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has downloaded:

People in my real life annoy me, so I come online to annoy you.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has viewed:

Just had my biannual teeth cleaning like some barn animal.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has copied:

They should invent a body that doesn’t keep the score.

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on Telegram:

It should be illegal to take a nap and still have a headache when you wake up. Like, no, I shut it off and back on again. Why are you still here?

Shared recently on Snapchat:

Dear ghosts, if you can move stuff around and flicker lights, then you can use a mop.

Seen just now on Telegram:

I handed in my exam blank so that the teacher has more time to celebrate Christmas with her family.

Spotted on X:

I was gonna get on the treadmill, but then the couch will get sad.

Going viral on YouTube:

I’m basically the human version of tangled up Christmas lights.

Seen just now on Discord:

Like many men my age, my biggest regret is hiring the inexpensive hitman.

Live now on Reddit:

When someone asks me why I’m leaving the party early, I say “I’m late for an appointment with my pajamas.”

Shared recently on Slack:

If you’re a guy and you’re struggling right now, just remember nobody cares, and it does get worse.

Just shared via Discord:

If cartoons have taught us anything, it’s the uselessness of little umbrellas when plummeting from a cliff.

Spreading quickly via Reddit:

In an effort to demonstrate how pointless internet debates are, please prove to me that snow is real.

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