Wordgag ツ

Commentary:
"Let's be real, caffeine and bacon are the unsung heroes keeping us all in check ☕🥓 Imagine the chaos if everyone was left to their own devices without these culinary superheroes! 🦸‍♂️🥓 #CoffeeAndBaconToTheRescue"

bacon, breakfast, caffeine, coffee, crime, crime rate, even, humor, imagination, imagine, lifestyle, rate

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I could tell my beard needed a trim when I started seeing some of the pictures my kids were drawing of me.

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2 months ago

beard, drawing, humor, i, kids, me, parenting, pictures, seeing, self-awareness, tell, trim
Every weekend has two days: Saturday and It’s Monday Tomorrow.

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2 months ago

days, every, humor, Monday, procrastination, Saturday, time, tomorrow, weekend, workweek
When your stomach is really mad at you, and you’re not sure which one of your 13 unhealthy lifestyle choices is causing it.

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3 months ago

causing, choice, choices, diet, health, humor, lifestyle, mad, stomach, stomachache, sure, unhealthy, unhealthy lifestyle, upset, upset stomach
All the smart people at the office are worried about being replaced by A.I., but not me. I’m safe until they invent Artificial Stupidity.

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2 months ago

A.I., AI, artificial, artificial intelligence, artificial stupidity, being, humor, intelligence, me, office, people, replacement, safe, safety, smart, smart people, stupidity, technology, workplace
The reason I stay up late is because I don’t want my free time to end, and tomorrow to start.

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5 months ago

bedtime, end, free, free time, humor, i, late, management, night, night owl, owl, procrastination, reason, sleep, start, stay, stay up late, time, time management, tomorrow, want
In honor of the winter solstice, I also will be cold, distant and filled with darkness.

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2 months ago

celebration, cold, darkness, distant, filled, honor, humor, i, irony, seasonal, solstice, winter, winter solstice

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

30 shares on TikTok this month:

I’ve touched enough cacti to know they are sharp, but also not enough to stop touching cacti.

12 shares on WhatsApp this month:

“You look tired”. No, I’m just ugly.

25 shares on Twitch this month:

Some days you have breakfast for dinner and live life on your own terms.

72 shares on Pinterest this month:

You sound unhinged. Let’s go get mugshots.

70 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Never get in between a girl and her fries. It’s just common sense really.

89 shares on Twitch this month:

I’ve decided that my 20s are actually from 25 – 35.

10 shares on Facebook this month:

I’d like to thank the municipal snow plow for recreating the wall from Game of Thrones at the end of my driveway.

69 shares on Twitch this month:

If camera lenses are round, why are the pictures square?

30 shares on WeChat this month:

I wonder how long you could drive in a roundabout before a cop would be like, hey, you can’t do that anymore.

22 shares on Facebook this month:

I miss when you could touch a TV and feel its fur.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇴 has shared:

My five-year plan only requires a few acts of God.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has bookmarked:

Saw a big spider crawl into my closet last night. He’s probably in there trying on all my clothes, acting like he’s me.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has viewed:

Just remembered why I went upstairs yesterday.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has downloaded:

I’m full of rage, but in a very chill and nonchalant way.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has shared:

Go outside and let the rain do what your boyfriend can’t.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has shared:

Sometimes you need to turn the music up louder and sort your shit out.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has viewed:

You can’t stop me. My tampon wrapper told me I was bold and brilliant.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has copied:

I am absolutely unstoppable, unless it’s a bit rainy.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has bookmarked:

So tonight me and my phone are playing hide and seek. So far my phone is winning.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has downloaded:

I miss when men had big hair, louder feelings, and leaned over cars to declare their love.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via WeChat:

I can’t stand people who require so much validation. Please like and share this if you agree.

Broadcasted on Discord:

Skinny people are easier to get blown around by storms. These donuts are for my safety.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

December you will be good to me (threateningly).

Trending via Instagram:

Grok just sounds like something that might try to eat me.

Going bananas on WeChat:

If you need time alone, just announce that you need help cleaning the cats litter box.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

We went on a family vacation and it was a terrible experience. It was all whining, complaining, and tantrums. And don’t get me started on what my kids did.

Trending via Twitch:

Netflix will help you finish spelling the name of the movie you’re looking for, and then tell you they don’t have it.

Trending via Instagram:

Apparently it’s inappropriate to yell out “Shots, shots, shots, shots” while your child’s getting immunizations at the pediatrician’s office.

Just landed via TikTok:

It is easier to pass a camel through the eye of a needle than it is to convince somebody online that they are wrong.

Going viral on Threads:

I stay away from beef-flavored cat food. At no point could Sylvia realistically bring down a cow, and I don’t need that kind of ego in the house.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Could you even imagine the crime rate if no one drank coffee or ate bacon.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

I could tell my beard needed a trim when I started seeing some of the pictures my kids were drawing of me.

Every weekend has two days: Saturday and It’s Monday Tomorrow.

When your stomach is really mad at you, and you’re not sure which one of your 13 unhealthy lifestyle choices is causing it.

All the smart people at the office are worried about being replaced by A.I., but not me. I’m safe until they invent Artificial Stupidity.

The reason I stay up late is because I don’t want my free time to end, and tomorrow to start.

In honor of the winter solstice, I also will be cold, distant and filled with darkness.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨