Wordgag ツ

Commentary:
"Ah, the wise words of a toddler… 🧒💭 Yes, you can do whatever you want all the time, as long as you're cool with facing the consequences like bedtime, chores, and a potentially messy room! 😂🙌 #ToddlerWisdom"

actually, advice, choice, freedom, fun, guys, humor, know, life, life advice, self-expression, spontaneity, time, want, whatever

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

They should make a drug that recreates the feeling of having your number called earlier than expected.

0

2 months ago

anticipation, call, drug, earlier, feeling, having, humor, number, should, unexpected
I lied. There’s no sex. Can you help me put this fitted sheet on my mattress?

0

2 months ago

bedroom, domestic, domestic task, fitted, fitted sheet, help, honesty, humor, i, lie, mattress, me, put, relationship, sex, sheet, task
Some people are so fake, their lock screens don’t recognize them.

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2 months ago

authenticity, fake, humor, identity, lock, lock screen, media, people, recognition, screen, social, social media, technology
Explaining myself is too much work. Please just judge me.

0

3 days ago

explaining, humor, judge, judgment, just, me, much, myself, please, sarcasm, too, work
What was the main bloke called in Harry Potter?

0

2 months ago

bloke, character, comedy, fiction, harry, Harry Potter, humor, main, main bloke, potter, wizard
Don’t give up on your dreams. Go back to bed.

0

2 months ago

back, bed, dream, dreams, give, humor, motivation, procrastination, sleep

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

78 shares on Telegram this month:

The urge to say “yeah, you should do that”, especially when you have no clue.

63 shares on Reddit this month:

If I ever go missing, please print my picture on wine bottles and not on milk boxes. My friends are more likely to find me then.

30 shares on Discord this month:

Most people think that T-Rexes can’t clap because they have short arms, but really it’s because they are dead.

69 shares on Threads this month:

I love when people say “be yourself,” like I haven’t already been doing that and scaring everyone off.

51 shares on WeChat this month:

“Ooh, you’ve caught the sun.” Translation: You look like you’ve been swimming in a volcano.

59 shares on YouTube this month:

Some people stay in the past because that’s where they peaked.

81 shares on Discord this month:

Relationship status: my sex robot filed a restraining order.

78 shares on Reddit this month:

Apparently “ew no” is not an acceptable way to tell my boss I don’t want more responsibility at work.

49 shares on Twitch this month:

I wish people had mute buttons in real life.

73 shares on YouTube this month:

People don’t get slapped enough with empty gloves these days.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇯 has viewed:

Yes, I do talk to myself, everyone else just wants to argue with me.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has bookmarked:

The 80s were wild, man. You had bands naming themselves after predatory cats with hearing problems.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has shared:

An orgy where everyone looks identical is called a doppelgängerbänger.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has copied:

The main cause of immigration is we’re still a country where people want to go, but we’re working on fixing that.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has downloaded:

I love surprising my girl, today she woke up single.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has shared:

There is a house I drive by most days and I can never tell if they are having a yard sale or that is just how they live.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has shared:

The art of letting whoever think whatever.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has bookmarked:

All income is disposable if you’re brave enough.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has bookmarked:

Just call me Mother Nature because I can go from hot to cold in a 24-hour period, too.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has bookmarked:

I withdraw my argument. I didn’t realize you had a meme to back you up.

Social Media Log 💫

Breaking via WeChat:

Satan: “Would you please stop sacrificing animals to me. I’m not running a zoo down here.”

Seen just now on Discord:

You should never donate to people that collect money for marathons. They just take your money and run.

Going bananas on Telegram:

I thrive in a waiting room. You need me to sit in a chair and look at my phone? No worries, love, I do this at home.

Making waves on YouTube:

If you’re a mad scientist, put a note in your laboratory reminding you to sometimes be a happy scientist.

Seen just now on TikTok:

The Epstein files are real, but they can’t figure out how to convert them to a PDF.

Spotted on Discord:

Dating is so overrated. Let’s just get married.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

No, I’m not stressed. I just constantly grind my teeth and clench my jaw for fun.

Broadcasted on Messenger:

I’d like to place an order for a large kiss and an extra-long hug.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

At my age, I’m more frightened of a hip break than a heartbreak.

Seen just now on Messenger:

Once again, I have fallen for life’s biggest scam: being two hours early for a flight only for security to take roughly seven minutes.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Did you guys know that you can actually do whatever you want all the time?

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

They should make a drug that recreates the feeling of having your number called earlier than expected.

I lied. There’s no sex. Can you help me put this fitted sheet on my mattress?

Some people are so fake, their lock screens don’t recognize them.

Explaining myself is too much work. Please just judge me.

What was the main bloke called in Harry Potter?

Don’t give up on your dreams. Go back to bed.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨