Trending Funny Quotes 👇

  • Massage therapist asked how I felt about chiropractics and I told her the guy who invented it says he learned it from a ghost, and that shut the conversation down pretty quick.
  • My therapist says I’m preoccupied with revenge. She’s going to regret that.
  • Why do we call it tuna fish? Is there any other tuna out there that’s not a fish?
  • One of the biggest struggles of being an adult is deciding what to make for supper. Every. Single. Night.
  • Call your family now and ask them what the wifi password is, so they have time to find the little paper it’s written on before Thanksgiving.
  • Moms be like, “Your cousin’s neighbor’s husband’s aunt died. Just thought you should know.”