Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇮 has downloaded:

I’ve been on Facebook for so long, I remember when it all used to be farmland.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has downloaded:

People think I’m a minimalist, but I’m just broke.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has shared:

Witnessing karma is awesome . . . witnessing instant karma is more awesome.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has viewed:

The internet is fun because you can post about mayonnaise and somehow end up in a fight.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has downloaded:

Which is it, brain? Does nothing matter or do I need to be anxious about everything?

Someone from 🇳🇵 has viewed:

Winnie the Pooh had the right idea in this goddam heat. Crop top with his honey pot facing the world.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has downloaded:

Trust me; this is the second millennium I’ve lived in.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has downloaded:

Halloween is over and most people just keep on being creepy.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has bookmarked:

Before you laugh at kids who believe in Santa, remember there are grown men who believe that Cristiano Ronaldo is a better footballer than Lionel Messi.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has shared:

Parenting is yelling ‘you just had a snack!’ over and over until you give in and throw them another snack.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,525

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on WeChat:

I’ve learned two important things in life, I can’t remember the first one, but the second one is to write everything down.

Just landed via Instagram:

I don’t question my wife’s choices because I’m one of them.

Just shared via TikTok:

Girl, you gotta try this healing potion. It’s called beer.

Shared recently on Twitch:

My girlfriend treats me like a god. She ignores my existence and only talks to me when she needs something.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

Went outside. Touched grass. Got bit by bugs. Zero stars.

Trending via Threads:

I’m not your dream woman. I am the sudden shouting of ravens that you hear when you enter a part of the forest you shouldn’t have.

Making waves on X:

Girlhood is taking hundreds of pictures only to post one or none at all.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

Therapy is basically me saying, “I did a thing,” and my therapist saying, “Yay, good job!”

Going viral on TikTok:

Normalize saying, “I’m not informed enough to have an opinion on the matter.”

Live now on LinkedIn:

You amuse me, Jester. You may enter my bed chambers.

Don’t hate me because I can fall asleep within seconds; hate me because I can sleep through the night without having to get up to go to the bathroom.

Witty quote about quick sleeping skills and staying asleep all night, humorous and playful.
Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Who needs a snooze button when you can sleep like a champ all night long? 😴🌙 No midnight bathroom trips for this sleep superstar! 💪🚽 Sweet dreams and dry sheets, folks! 😄 #SleepGoals"

, , , , , , , , , , , , ,

Keep the laugh going 😂

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Funny Quotes Collections
✨ New Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

64 shares on WeChat this month:

The lion does not concern himself with Microsoft Teams.

23 shares on Pinterest this month:

Why the hell did they name them ‘Soldier ants’ and not ‘Combatants’?

96 shares on Threads this month:

I am so full of love and anger, like a lava lamp.

12 shares on Pinterest this month:

Half of my problems are because I said “sure” instead of “no.”

74 shares on Facebook this month:

A moment of silence for those who hate us but can’t unfriend us because they’re afraid of not knowing what’s happening in our lives.

85 shares on WhatsApp this month:

The concept of a courtroom sketch artist is so funny to me. Here’s our little murder doodler.

64 shares on Instagram this month:

Have kids so you can say things you never thought you would like “please don’t vacuum your sister”

86 shares on TikTok this month:

If at first you don’t succeed, the internet will let you know immediately.

62 shares on YouTube this month:

If you get bitten by a snake and you’re not sure if it was poisonous, simply wait to see if you die or not. That should give you your answer.

48 shares on TikTok this month:

If you want to know what God thinks of money, look at the people he gave it to.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

5 folks are currently checking 👀

Everything is a sign from God if you’re schizophrenic enough.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

Been acting really busy today because I can tell my coworker wants to talk about something in his personal life.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

I think more people would actually heal from their trauma if they got revenge.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m heading to the beach without a beach body.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

You were there at the beginning of the Internet if you’ve heard the following: “Get off the web, I need to make a call!”

12 folks are currently checking 👀

Back then, my parents were afraid of what I would do on the Internet. Today, I’m afraid of what my parents do on the Internet.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

It’s been too long since I partook in shenanigans.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

So, if you are too tired to speak, sit next to me, because I am fluent in silence.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

There must be an opposite of suicide, where someone suddenly and radically decides to start living, and rescues their own life from meaninglessness.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

Sleep when the baby sleeps, eat when the baby eats, work when the baby works.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,530

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇨 has downloaded:

Shoutout to everyone pretending to have it together. Same.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has viewed:

The sexual tension between me and not finishing the last 2 episodes of a drama.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has copied:

I suck at flirting, I end up arguing with them instead.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has copied:

“I bought this while depressed” should be an acceptable reason to get a full refund on a return.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has bookmarked:

Hi, I’m a social media user, you might know me from such hits as “I’m leaving this stupid place” and “I’m back everybody.”

Someone from 🇩🇿 has viewed:

Sorry for widening my eyes and whispering “The prophecy” when we first met.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has shared:

I love my cat so much, but how the hell are you that small and take up an entire queen-size mattress?

Someone from 🇰🇲 has viewed:

“November Rain” is just 9 minutes of me realizing I’m too dramatic to date someone with healthy coping skills.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has copied:

“Have AI summarize this email for you!” No thanks, I can read what the person actually said in the way they intended.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has copied:

Traded my Fitbit in for a Sitbit.

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on LinkedIn:

Every night at bedtime I do one small ritual: six hours on my cell phone.

Breaking via Facebook:

At this point, if you buy Tesla, everyone is just going to assume you are a loser.

Making waves on Messenger:

There are two types of people: Those who steal food off your plate and those who you keep in your life.

Making waves on X:

Dating after 40 is like trying to find the least damaged item at the thrift store that doesn’t smell.

Live now on Messenger:

A 12 step program but it’s just me getting off the couch.

Just shared via Instagram:

Crazy how every smart person recommends going for walks.

Spotted on X:

Start every meeting with, “Let’s just agree to disagree.”

Broadcasted on X:

Am I finishing my education or is my education finishing me?

Going viral on Slack:

My fitness goal is to lose two straight jacket sizes.

Just shared via YouTube:

I’ve cooked for men I should have poisoned, so yeah, I do have self-control.

© 2026. All rights reserved.

Made with ❤️ in Sydney ☀️🌴