Someone from 🇩🇲 has viewed:

I want to be cuddled, but I also want to be left alone. Being crazy is hard.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has viewed:

Hear me out: agenda reveal parties for people we don’t trust.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has downloaded:

A service where you bring a working printer to my house, I print the one thing I need, and you leave again until next year.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has copied:

Not to brag, but I’m on hold and my call is important to them.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has copied:

Dear sleep: thanks for trying, but you can’t beat surfing the net.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has viewed:

The three people who like every single one of my posts are going in my will.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has bookmarked:

I ordered one of those Tempura mattresses. Way too crunchy.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has downloaded:

If pigeons could talk, they would bum a cigarette.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has viewed:

This meeting could have been a painting in a museum of boredom.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has downloaded:

I wish I were a wild horse in Kazakhstan. That would fix everything.