Trending Funny Quotes 👇

  • The worst thing you can do when you notice your kids are playing nicely together is telling them that they’re playing nicely together.
  • My kidnappers sent me back early with a full apology, some money, and several of their fingers.
  • One year older today, and still no closer to growing up.
  • Happy Earth Day. You don’t look a day over 4 billion years and get hotter every year.
  • Just did my own taxes, I should be in jail by Friday.
  • Stretching is not enough. I need to be rolled through a pasta machine.