Trendy Funny Quotes

  • Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit; wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.
  • I get it, sauce, I also thicken over time.
  • I say “long story short” and then tell the story with bonus features.
  • If you want your teen to finish her homework, tell her to fold the laundry.
  • I used to eat my feelings but now it’s so expensive, I might as well go to therapy.
  • The real advantage of being self-employed is that you don’t have to go to a Christmas party.