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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇭 has downloaded:

The agony of thinking you’re finished doing the dishes, only to turn around and, to your horror, the pot.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has copied:

Only thing sexier than a bad decisions is a bad decision with queso.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has bookmarked:

What career is most compatible with the unemployed lifestyle?

Someone from 🇬🇩 has bookmarked:

Sometimes people just need you to be genuine with them, and I personally have no problem pretending to do that.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has viewed:

Pro Tip: Never make snow angels in a dog park.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has bookmarked:

Accidentally turned my clocks back too far and ended up at a Wham concert.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has copied:

Twitter can teach you a lot of lessons. Grammar is not one of them.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has copied:

Young people are too young nowadays. Back in the good old days, young people were my age.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has copied:

The delivery guy absolutely hates it when I call him my pizza mule.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has shared:

I don’t follow washing instructions, you’re my clothes you don’t tell me what to do.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

789 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,951

Funny Quotes Topics

13,923

Funny Quotes Images

10,951

Updated

27 minutes ago

Users Online

3,444

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Snapchat:

You think you’re your own worst critic? Just wait till you have kids.

Making waves on Telegram:

According to autocorrect, my favorite Star Wars character is Bob’s Feet.

Making waves on Instagram:

I’m not addicted to Twitter. I’m just a really good listener so I want to know what everyone has to say.

Trending via YouTube:

Every time I see a dog with its head out a window, I know it’s having a better day than I am.

Spotted on Snapchat:

People will think you know what you’re talking about if you give your opinion while cleaning a pair of reading glasses.

Reported on WeChat:

Being lazy has its advantages. I still have most of my winter fat from last year.

Reported on YouTube:

Ironically, the Internet was invented to save time.

Making waves on Messenger:

A large group of people is called an “eww, no thank you”

Broadcasted on Twitch:

How do I get someone to unknow me? I no longer want to be known by these people.

Live now on TikTok:

I hate it when I turn on the car in the morning and the music starts blasting… It’s like, woah, I’m not the same person I was last night.

Every time I have to repeat myself, a new curse word gets added into the sentence.

Every time I have to repeat myself, a new curse word gets added into the sentence.
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Commentary:
Sounds like your vocabulary is expanding faster than your patience! 🤯🤬 Remember, a well-placed curse word can be quite cathartic – just don't let it become a full-blown novel! 📚😅

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media need people procrastination relationship sarcasm social someone technology time want work

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

789 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,951

Funny Quotes Topics

13,923

Funny Quotes Images

10,951

Updated

27 minutes ago

Users Online

3,418

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇪 has copied:

Keep smiling, it makes people wonder what you’re up to.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has shared:

My mom asked me where I’m taking her to eat on Mother’s Day. I told her we have food at home.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has copied:

The theory that two stacked beds can’t be converted into two regular beds has been debunked.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has copied:

January is the Monday of the year.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has copied:

The ’90s were a time of blissful ignorance where we expected rock stars to sleep with groupies.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has viewed:

It must be hard for a vampire to floss their fangs when they can’t see their reflection in a mirror.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has shared:

Worst part about not buying snacks so you won’t eat snacks is not having snacks when you need a lil snack.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has bookmarked:

Gang initiations from the Midwest be like “you have to eat the entire potato salad.”

Someone from 🇳🇮 has copied:

The worst part about going to work is the part where you have to go to work.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has viewed:

Meow means woof in cat.

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Twitch:

Don’t let the British accent fool you. I’m not saying anything smart.

Trending via Instagram:

I was at the cemetery when a little kid walked up to me and said she was afraid. I took her hand and told her that I used to be afraid too… when I was alive.

Live now on TikTok:

Trying to explain that I’m fascinated by Japan for wood joinery reasons and not nerd or pervert reasons.

Broadcasted on YouTube:

When people suck the life out of you, they should take some fat too.

Spreading quickly via Discord:

I was talking to someone and combined “all good” and “no worries” by saying “all worries”, which was a lot more accurate.

Going viral on Reddit:

Yesterday my husband thought he saw a cockroach in the kitchen. He sprayed and cleaned everything thoroughly. Today I’m putting the cockroach in the bathroom.

Trending via Threads:

I’m on that new diet where you eat anything you want and you pray for a miracle.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

Next time someone says “I’m a hugger” and tries to hug me I’m gonna say “I’m a biter” and see how it goes.

Making waves on Threads:

My bed wasn’t feeling well this morning, so I had to stay home to take care of it.

Seen just now on Messenger:

People who sound like fonts: Ariana Grande. Roman Roy. Jim Courier. Lydia West. Bon Iver. Suella Braverman. Jesse Ventura.

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