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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇨 has copied:

Every single bad day happened because I woke up.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has downloaded:

I have a very particular set of useless skills.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has downloaded:

I love when someone is telling a story and you can tell even from their version that they’re the villain.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has shared:

I don’t know how to flirt, but you can watch me eat fresh fruit in my sundress.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has copied:

Girls know how to flirt until it’s with someone they actually like.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has downloaded:

Men: Masters of multitasking – can watch sports, ignore laundry, and forget your birthday, all at once.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has copied:

Just found out about confirmation bias, and now every article I read totally proves I was right to be worried about it.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has downloaded:

When a girl is done with you, she talks to you like she’s in HR or something.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has copied:

Answering your cell when you don’t recognize the number is like picking up a hitchhiker.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has downloaded:

Sharks are orcs, dolphins are elves.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

531 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,124

Funny Quotes Topics

17,272

Funny Quotes Images

15,124

Dec 27, 2025

3,817

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on WeChat:

I was waiting on the universe but the universe was actually waiting on me.

Shared recently on Reddit:

We’re putting that movie you love back in theaters on one random Wednesday — and we’re not gonna tell you until Tuesday.

Just shared via Slack:

You are my favorite dirty thought.

Making waves on TikTok:

Shout out to the dude who flipped me off in traffic. Making me feel all nostalgic for California, thank you.

Spotted on WeChat:

I need to find hobbies that don’t include my debit card.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

Someone said I should think before I speak and I said “eww what a horrible way to live”

Going viral on Pinterest:

It’s not too early to go to sleep. Too early only applies to waking up.

Going bananas on Discord:

Sunday should be 48 hours instead of 24 hours, I need more time to be ready for Monday.

Just shared via LinkedIn:

It’s funny how it’s often easier to access academic resources illegally, even when you have university library access.

Just shared via Reddit:

Damn, how much daylight are they trying to save? It’s dark as hell.

Every time someone tries to fight with me online, a middle finger gets its wings.

2 months ago

0

Every time someone tries to fight with me online, a middle finger gets its wings.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Ah, the majestic sight of virtual battles unfolding! 🕊️💻 Remember, folks, keep calm and let those online adversaries unknowingly contribute to the soaring population of middle fingers in our digital world. Fly high, you rebellious little digits! 🖕😂"

conflict, every, fight, finger, humor, me, media, middle, middle finger, online, reaction, social, social media, someone, time, wings

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Calling it a situationship, and the whole time, the situation is that they don’t want you.

0

2 months ago

calling, dating, humor, love, rejection, relationship, sarcasm, situation, situationship, time, unrequited, unrequited love, want, whole
A moment of silence for those who hate us but can’t unfriend us because they’re afraid of not knowing what’s happening in our lives.

0

2 months ago

afraid, digital, digital relationship, etiquette, happening, hate, humor, internet, internet humor, knowing, life, media, moment, online, online life, pressure, privacy, relationship, silence, social, social media, social media etiquette, social pressure, unfriend, unfriending, us
Think about how many more lovers you’d have if a cross country high-speed rail existed. That’s what they are taking away from you.

0

2 months ago

activity, away, country, cross, cross country, dating, existed, fun, fun activity, high-speed, high-speed rail, lovers, opportunity, rail, relationships, think, transportation, travel
My husband and I were doing yard work, but I started a fight so I could storm off into the air conditioning.

0

2 months ago

air, air conditioning, chore, conditioning, doing, fight, household, household chore, humor, husband, i, relationship, storm, storm off, work, yard, yard work
I am “any text received after 9pm will be answered at 6am” years old.

0

2 months ago

6am, 9pm, after, age, am, answered, humorous, i, late, late night, night, old, response, sleep, text
Tweeting shouldn’t cost money but it should flip you on your back like a bug for 15 minutes.

0

2 months ago

activity, back, bug, cost, flip, humor, media, minutes, money, should, social, social media, tweeting

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎁🎅🎄 Christmas Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

59 shares on Twitch this month:

Got a job rejection, saw the company post the same job again, so I applied again. I decide when we’re done.

66 shares on Twitch this month:

I remixed a remix, it was back to normal.

76 shares on X this month:

I miss the way I viewed the world before I found out too much about it.

44 shares on Pinterest this month:

Missionary, so we can discuss how 15 min can save us 15% or more on car insurance.

37 shares on Messenger this month:

ChatGPT is there for me in ways I don’t think any man ever could be.

14 shares on Instagram this month:

When Chuck Norris was born, the doctor got slapped.

52 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Coffee doesn’t even make me feel energized, I just drink it for the love of the game.

29 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Why are “hemorrhoids” not called “assteroids”?

10 shares on Discord this month:

Welcome to your 40s. A random back pain will be assigned to you shortly, and you’ll never know what flares it up every time.

40 shares on Snapchat this month:

Sorry to interrupt your scrolling, but I hope life gets better for you.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

7 folks are currently checking 👀

Some people should have read-only access to the internet.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, that’s amore. When you swim in the sea and an eel bites your knee, that’s a moray.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

No one warned me that being an adult was mostly just hurrying up to get somewhere you don’t want to go in the first place.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

Mario Kart turned out to be the best training for winter driving.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

Because of my looks, everyone only wants one thing from me, that I leave them alone.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m not lazy, I’m on energy-saving mode.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

I drink so much coffee, people feel jittery when they see a picture of me.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

Getting out of bed should count as resistance training.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

I tried explaining crypto to my nine-year-old, and she said, “It sounds like someone is trying to sell you their imaginary friend.”

7 folks are currently checking 👀

People that I dislike shouldn’t be allowed to consume the media that I like.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

531 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,124

Funny Quotes Topics

17,272

Funny Quotes Images

15,124

Updated

Dec 27, 2025

Users Online

3,624

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇿🇲 has bookmarked:

If your girlfriend doesn’t go a little psycho on you from time to time, then she’s not in love with you, sweetie.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has copied:

There’s a word in modern Hungarian slang, egérmozi, which describes watching films (or shows) on your phone. It means “mouse cinema”.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has viewed:

The best part about having a crush is when they crush all your hopes and dreams.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has viewed:

Don’t rub your happiness in people’s faces this Valentine’s Day. Let the couples enjoy themselves for once.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has shared:

They lie on the job descriptions, so lie on your resume.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has bookmarked:

I’m at a place in my life when errands are starting to count as going out.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has downloaded:

I identify as Michael Jackson, so my pronouns are “he/hee.”

Someone from 🇮🇸 has shared:

Couldn’t afford a man cave. Had to settle for a gazebro.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has copied:

Extrovert self made too many plans and now introvert self is pissed.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has downloaded:

I think you are suffering from a lack of vitamin ME.

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on Snapchat:

Technically, all restaurants are drive-thru, it just depends how committed to the task you are.

Spotted on Discord:

I’m nervous that my diet pill will stick in my throat, so I usually eat a few cookies after to help push it down.

Going viral on TikTok:

Going to have a hobbit boi summer (throw a huge birthday party for myself, then mysteriously vanish right after insulting everyone).

Trending via Facebook:

I just need to get over everything that has happened to me in my entire life and then we can hang out.

Trending via WhatsApp:

I don’t mean to brag, but I can forget what I’m saying while I’m saying it.

Going bananas on Reddit:

If you haven’t felt old yet today, try explaining to a teenager how little kids used to sit on a phone book at dinner to be able to reach the table.

Going viral on Messenger:

90% of the things I worry about never happen. Worrying seems to be working.

Just landed via Snapchat:

I don’t need to learn something new, I need to remember something old, like why did I come into this room?

Live now on Threads:

I’m an adult. I can do whatever I want. And yet, here I am just doing laundry, eating salads, taking antidepressants, flossing my teeth, and going on little walks. Like an IDIOT.

Just landed via YouTube:

Part of getting older is having a favorite pen.

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