Everyone talks about climate change, but no one has the courage to sacrifice a virgin to appease the gods.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has downloaded:

The difference between a biography and an autobiography is self-explanatory.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has bookmarked:

Parents saying “I know my child” will forever be the funniest joke.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has bookmarked:

All my passwords are protected, by my poor memory.

Someone from 🇷🇸 has bookmarked:

Nothing is impossible, except for my daughter returning home with the hat and gloves she wore to school this morning.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has viewed:

Silently hoping for a comet to strike, to get out of today’s responsibilities.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has copied:

“Nothing beats in-person interaction”. Yeah, with someone I know and love, not Denise from finance.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has copied:

I made the mistake of clicking on an Instagram ad for a flannel shirt, and now the algorithm thinks I’m a lumberjack.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has bookmarked:

Why steal office supplies from work when you could take an extra-long bathroom break and steal company time instead?

Someone from 🇧🇬 has bookmarked:

Y’all liking my posts feels like a little forehead kiss.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has shared:

“Likes your story” is a declaration of love.