Trending Funny Quotes 👇

  • I still can’t believe Aldi sells shopping carts for 25 cents. I’ve got 8 of them now and don’t really even have a use for them, it was just too good of a deal to pass up.
  • When someone asks me why I’m leaving the party early, I say “I’m late for an appointment with my pajamas.”
  • Just knowing that I have to get out of bed tomorrow is already annoying and it’s not even dark yet.
  • My son got braces today. Yay, he’s not going to be a teenage dad.
  • Egg nog was invented in Germany back in 1816 when Baron von Heldebrandt reportedly said “Hey guys, let’s get this custard drunk!”
  • My card declined at Subway and they started eating the sandwich in front of me.