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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇾 has shared:

Throwing “whereupon” into a few work emails today to keep it fun.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has viewed:

Me as the therapist: “Listen, just take a nap!”

Someone from 🇸🇿 has viewed:

I’m not going to die because of an accident. Nor because of an illness. But from small talk. Someone will say one boring sentence too many and I’ll drop dead.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has bookmarked:

It’s normal that my retirement plan is 100% contingent on me finding buried treasure at some point, right?

Someone from 🇧🇦 has viewed:

There’s no need to put a little umbrella in my drink. It’s already wet.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has downloaded:

The subtle art of surviving this life with grace and dignity.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has shared:

I don’t think people are actually getting any dumber. I think stupid people have just become way more confident.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has shared:

Sundries sounds like something grandma would call scandalous underwear.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has copied:

Just blocked everyone who is not in my gang so if you’re reading this, we’re robbing a bank in 12 minutes.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has shared:

I don’t miss calls, I stare at them.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

643 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,236

Funny Quotes Topics

17,359

Funny Quotes Images

15,236

Dec 30, 2025

3,836

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

I love when I get an email from a brand saying “we miss you!” with no coupon attached. Babe, a lot of people miss me, let’s be competitive here.

Shared recently on Facebook:

Romance level: At some point, someone comes by, sees me and thinks: “Oh well, my God, why not?”

Spotted on Discord:

My funeral better have a bloody merch table.

Just landed via Reddit:

Are you spaghetti because I want you to meat my balls?

Just landed via LinkedIn:

Me watching any modern ad: How is this ad an ad for the thing it’s an ad for?

Just shared via Snapchat:

Girls be like “forget it, I’m fine” then set your house on fire.

Trending via Telegram:

Due to inflation, a picture is now worth 2300 words.

Going viral on YouTube:

It’s weird how the UFO’s always seem to crash in places that only the government and military have access to.

Just landed via Twitch:

That made me feel good. I think I’ll become addicted.

Trending via LinkedIn:

I would only enjoy the Met Gala if at the end of that runway they all walked into a volcano.

Experts say you can make any statement sound more credible by adding ‘experts say’ at the beginning.

2 months ago

0

Experts say you can make any statement sound more credible by adding ‘experts say’ at the beginning.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Experts say you can make any statement sound more credible by adding 'experts say' at the beginning. 🤓 So, remember, according to experts, this statement is scientifically proven to enhance your intellectual aura! 🌟 #ExpertAdvice #TrustMeImAnExpert"

advice, beginning, credibility, expert, experts, humor, irony, say, sound, statement

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I smoke weed for my mental health and your personal safety.

0

2 months ago

health, humor, i, mental, mental health, personal, personal safety, recreational, relief, safety, smoke, stress, stress relief, weed
Relationship Status: just tried to pet my dog and he turned his head so I pretended I was reaching for a leaf that was next to him.

0

2 months ago

awkward, awkward moment, behavior, dog, funny behavior, head, humor, i, just, leaf, moment, next, pet, relationship, relationship status, status, tried
Jesus, I need money to organize your birthday.

0

2 months ago

birthday, celebration, fun, i, Jesus, money, need, organize
The only time you should be faking it is when your pet checks to see if you’re awake.

0

2 months ago

animal, awake, faking, humor, joke, pet, sleep, time
I am a friend to all cats. Yes, even the mean ones. They have their reasons.

0

2 months ago

am, animals, cat, cats, companionship, even, friend, humor, i, mean, reasons, yes
Remember: when a band skips your city on tour, it is always personal and they always hate you specifically.

0

2 months ago

always, band, city, disappointment, feelings, hate, humor, music, personal, remember, tour

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

75 shares on Instagram this month:

Good morning. I’m ready for attention now.

86 shares on Facebook this month:

I’ve never met a problem I couldn’t turn into a disaster.

87 shares on Discord this month:

Can anyone recommend some good behaviors for someone who just started behaving?

51 shares on TikTok this month:

Welcome to your 40’s: you’re not hungover, it’s just Tuesday.

76 shares on Slack this month:

The worst part about being drunk and seeing double is when you realize it’s just one slice of pizza.

86 shares on Telegram this month:

British people be like “It’s Chewsday, innit?”

92 shares on Slack this month:

I’m in a long-distance relationship with the stars.

59 shares on WeChat this month:

Dear LOL, thanks for being there when I have nothing else to say.

43 shares on Telegram this month:

Can anyone recommend some good places for somebody just getting into visiting?

13 shares on Pinterest this month:

I hope you can hear me thinking about you.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

17 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m sorry that I bit you, I was trying to flirt.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

One of the great joys in this life is looking at your pet’s weird little teeth.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

Not only do I turn down my radio to find a house or a parking spot, but I also take off my sunglasses to hear someone better.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

The best part about NYC is you literally see a brand new, hottest woman in your entire life every single day.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

Pouring rain, football on TV, empty house; the stuff dreams are made of.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

My savings account has been empty for so long that a Spirit Halloween just opened up inside it.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

Ever read something so magnificently stupid that you have to just stare into space for a little while and reconcile with your brain for having been subjected to it?

21 folks are currently checking 👀

My cat just sneezed a bunch of times in a row and then hissed at himself. What an icon!

18 folks are currently checking 👀

Hey bartender, can you turn down the music, please? This guy I just met is trying to explain how baseball works.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

I skip questions on exams like I’m gonna be a different person when I come back to them.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

643 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,236

Funny Quotes Topics

17,359

Funny Quotes Images

15,236

Updated

Dec 30, 2025

Users Online

3,633

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇬 has downloaded:

If I say goodnight and an hour later you see me online, it’s not that I lied; it’s just that I failed.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has viewed:

Note to self: Very important! First hang up, then insult.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has viewed:

Before the internet, going viral meant your drawing made it to the fridge, and your sibling was furious.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has bookmarked:

Guilty pleasure? Why would I ever feel guilty about pleasure.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has downloaded:

I wish I got hotter every time a man made me mad.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has viewed:

There is nothing an orgasm can’t fix, I have researched it extensively.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has shared:

If I’m giving you attention, feel blessed. My real passion is ignoring people.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has shared:

I couldn’t work at a zoo. I’d have a penguin in my car by the end of the shift.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has copied:

If I could do it all over again, I would ruin my life differently. I have new ideas.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has copied:

When I was a kid, they played lame music for middle-aged people in the supermarket, but this morning at Whole Foods, it’s now all amazing bangers from my youth.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on X:

The man who invented autocorrect walks into a barn. He orders a bear.

Going viral on YouTube:

Facebook should just go back to being Hot or Not dot com.

Spotted on Slack:

Sorry, but if you’re walking slower than me on the sidewalk, you’re my enemy. Walking faster than me? Also my enemy. Now if you’re walking at the same speed as me… hmm, yeah, I’m thinking enemy.

Trending via Pinterest:

Me: God, please stop giving me your toughest battles. God: You just have to empty the dishwasher.

Broadcasted on WhatsApp:

My wife is refusing to bring me a beer. That’s it, gonna text her and say “I cannot believe how lazy you are”.

Shared recently on Instagram:

They say there’s no such thing as a stupid question, but then they’ll go and wake you up to ask if you’re asleep.

Broadcasted on Reddit:

Future generations will never have to live in unprecedented times, because we’re precedenting the Hell out of everything right now.

Live now on Discord:

Sometimes I think I should talk to my colleagues more often. Until I talk to my colleagues.

Spreading quickly via Instagram:

Aging isn’t even 1% as scary as whatever is going on with the people trying not to.

Shared recently on Threads:

My apologies to your congregation. I totally misunderstood when you asked for missionary volunteers.

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