Trending Funny Quotes 👇

  • People say I act like I don’t care. It’s not an act.
  • Liquor on the top shelf is so expensive because the bartender has to stand on their tippy toes to reach it.
  • I would like to thank my arms for always being by my side, my legs for always supporting me, and my fingers, because I can always count on them.
  • Me attempting to flirt: So do you like doing things?
  • The police sent me a photo radar ticket so I sent them a photo of a hundred dollars, so I guess we’re even.
  • Massage therapist asked how I felt about chiropractics and I told her the guy who invented it says he learned it from a ghost, and that shut the conversation down pretty quick.