Trending Funny Quotes 👇

  • The only function of a middle name is so a child can assess how much danger they’re in.
  • A really good magician could be living in your house and you would never know.
  • The longest drum solo was 10 hours and 26 minutes and was performed by the child sitting behind me on a flight from LA to Tokyo.
  • Baby, we believe in God around here, I don’t care what’s trending these days.
  • When people don’t drink coffee, it’s like, okay, but how do you solve the problem of being awake?
  • When I take a walk, I bring dog treats and people treats. I almost never mix them up.