Wordgag ツ

Commentary:
"Friends ebb and flow like ocean waves 🌊, but the real ones stick around like an octopus with separation anxiety 🐙! Just when you think they're gone, they cling to you for dear life! 😂 #FriendshipGoals"

face, friends, humor, loyalty, metaphor, ocean, octopus, relationships, stay, true, waf

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

It sucks that crazy people ruined wearing tinfoil hats for those of us that just did it for fashion purposes.

0

2 months ago

crazy, crazy person, fashion, hat, humor, just, people, person, ruined, satire, sucks, tinfoil, tinfoil hat, us
Ever since I was a little girl, I have loved staying up really late, hanging out with myself, and thinking about stuff and things.

0

3 months ago

alone, alone time, childhood, childhood memory, ever, girl, hanging, i, introvert, late, late night, little, loved, memory, myself, night, night owl, owl, personal, personal time, reflection, self, self-reflection, staying, stuff, things, thinking, time
Men be like, “Ok, you wanna know the truth,” and lie even harder.

0

4 months ago

communication, even, harder, humor, know, lie, men, ok, relationship, truth
Haven’t seen a single bikini photoshoot in the snow this year; the girls are tired.

0

3 days ago

bikini, cold, cold weather, fashion, girl, girls, humor, photoshoot, seen, single, snow, tired, weather, winter, year
Pretending you don’t notice people staring at you is a skill.

0

2 months ago

awkwardness, humor, notice, people, pretending, skill, social, staring
In the American Bible, Eve was made from part of a McRib.

0

2 months ago

American, bible, eve, fast, fast food, food, humor, joke, McRib, religious, religious joke, satire

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

28 shares on Instagram this month:

How can you not appreciate a drunk text? Someone is absolutely off their face and still thinking of you.

85 shares on WhatsApp this month:

“I’ve never met a medical receptionist that I believed wanted me to live.”

30 shares on WeChat this month:

Sometimes life is like a cowshed. You step from one turd into the next.

73 shares on Threads this month:

If you think someone has put a spell on you, send me $500 and I’ll get rid of it.

91 shares on Pinterest this month:

If she forgives you, then 30 minutes later comes back mad again: that means she told her friends in her group chat, and the board of directors did not agree.

37 shares on Reddit this month:

In a room full of art, I’d still stare at you.

47 shares on WeChat this month:

The best thing about dogs is you can act like something really good just happened, and they’ll instantly start celebrating too. They have no idea what the context is; they’re just always ready to party, no matter what.

72 shares on Threads this month:

Just gonna drink light beers today, because I don’t wanna get drunk but I do enjoy peeing 30 times.

31 shares on Instagram this month:

They probably killed the first few people whose eyes turned red in a photograph before they realized it wasn’t any demon stuff.

86 shares on YouTube this month:

“This isn’t going to end well for you.” Me, alone in the house, to the cake on the counter.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇲 has copied:

Patience and forbearance are those qualities you develop when there are too many witnesses.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has bookmarked:

How do I un-know people?

Someone from 🇬🇶 has viewed:

Asian girl at tech company: Wow, everyone here is so friendly.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has downloaded:

You can fake a smile, but you can’t fake jazz hands.

Someone from 🇨🇾 has shared:

That “meeting canceled” ping is a gift from the Gods.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has bookmarked:

I wish rage burned calories. I would be so skinny.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has bookmarked:

Betrayal is when you’re holding a baby, and they put their arms out for someone else.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has shared:

We all have that one coworker whose sole purpose is to reduce our life expectancy by ten years.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has shared:

Now that the nights are getting cooler again, spiders often hide in your bed in search of warmth. Sleep well!

Someone from 🇳🇴 has downloaded:

I’m gonna put “CEO of Blockbuster Video” on my resume because who are they gonna call to confirm?

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

Whole crypto scheme is built on people too dumb for crypto that aren’t self-aware enough to realize it.

Shared recently on Messenger:

I haven’t posted a selfie in a while, but I’m still very cute. Just to keep you updated.

Going viral on Facebook:

I successfully avoided the red-eye flight and got the much milder pink eye flight.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

Just remember, you don’t need a special reason to buy a cake.

Shared recently on Reddit:

Pretty messed up that my body, a chemistry lab made of meat, simply chooses to make me feel a little bit nervous for no reason.

Just shared via Instagram:

I can’t really explain it but cereal at night tastes better than cereal in the morning.

Going viral on Twitch:

Boy, are you a piñata? Because I have an overwhelming urge to beat you with a stick.

Shared recently on Reddit:

If you see this, straighten your back, you banana-shaped mess.

Shared recently on Telegram:

Some days you feel like you’re surrounded by idiots, other days you realize it’s not just some days.

Spotted on Instagram:

I made you something special for Mother’s Day, my kid threatened.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Friends come and go, like the waves of the ocean, but the true ones stay like an octopus on your face.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

It sucks that crazy people ruined wearing tinfoil hats for those of us that just did it for fashion purposes.

Ever since I was a little girl, I have loved staying up really late, hanging out with myself, and thinking about stuff and things.

Men be like, “Ok, you wanna know the truth,” and lie even harder.

Haven’t seen a single bikini photoshoot in the snow this year; the girls are tired.

Pretending you don’t notice people staring at you is a skill.

In the American Bible, Eve was made from part of a McRib.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨