Wordgag ツ

Commentary:
"Friends ebb and flow like ocean waves 🌊, but the real ones stick around like an octopus with separation anxiety 🐙! Just when you think they're gone, they cling to you for dear life! 😂 #FriendshipGoals"

face, friends, humor, loyalty, metaphor, ocean, octopus, relationships, stay, true, waf

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Calling it a situationship, and the whole time, the situation is that they don’t want you.

1 month ago
calling, dating, humor, love, rejection, relationship, sarcasm, situation, situationship, time, unrequited, unrequited love, want, whole
This summer I’m going cicada mode: emerging briefly from my house and being really loud until I find a mate.

1 month ago
activity, being, cicada, emerging, fun, fun activity, going, house, humor, i, loud, mate, mode, nature, summer
My opinion of the American education system is largely based on how many nuggets I get when I order a ten piece.

1 month ago
American, chicken nuggets, critique, education, food, humor, i, nuggets, opinion, order, piece, system, ten, ten piece
Full-time employment will have you making lists of thoughts to think.

3 days ago
employment, full-time, humor, job, list, lists, load, making, mental, mental load, productivity, think, thinking, thought, thoughts, work
The woman that cleaned my house could make a lot of money by threatening to release the before and after photos.

1 month ago
after, before, before and after, cleaned, house, humor, lot, money, photos, release, threatening, woman
My kids couldn’t care less about personal hygiene unless we are running late somewhere.

1 month ago
care, family, humor, hygiene, kids, late, less, management, parenting, personal, personal hygiene, running, running late, somewhere, time, time management

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇩 has shared:

People just don’t build cities on rock and roll anymore.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has copied:

I’m the product of too much television and zero supervision.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has downloaded:

Christmas lights: the only thing bright around here besides my personality.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has copied:

You want me to pay attention to the details? The thing the devil is in?

Someone from 🇹🇱 has copied:

Earth is hard.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has downloaded:

It’s romantic to fall in love during the collapse of society.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has viewed:

We could all be hibernating right now but noooooo we have to be “adults” with “responsibilities”.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Snapchat:

Welcome, new followers! It’s all downhill from here.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

Feeling guilty for taking up the entire therapy session talking about myself.

Going viral on Snapchat:

Every time the universe sends me a sign, I’m like, okay, but I think I’ll wait for a signier sign.

Just landed via Threads:

Being an adult is spending every day looking at a pill bottle, wondering, “Did I take this already?”

Spotted on Pinterest:

Someone taking your parking space at your own home is a different type of anger.

Going bananas on X:

His palm trees are Serengeti, destination wedding, luggage is heavy. There’s vomit on his tux already, Dollar store confetti.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Friends come and go, like the waves of the ocean, but the true ones stay like an octopus on your face.

Calling it a situationship, and the whole time, the situation is that they don’t want you.

This summer I’m going cicada mode: emerging briefly from my house and being really loud until I find a mate.

My opinion of the American education system is largely based on how many nuggets I get when I order a ten piece.

The woman that cleaned my house could make a lot of money by threatening to release the before and after photos.

My kids couldn’t care less about personal hygiene unless we are running late somewhere.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

I think we just need to accept that the 90’s was our peak as a species.

All my favorite activities involve a mattress.

I’m writing a parenting book called ‘Kids won’t listen until you scream like your mother did’.

I’m going to start reading books again, as soon as I finish the internet.

They should invent a man who is being genuine when he says things to me.

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Happiness is an inside job.

I get it, orcas. Sometimes you just need to ruin a yacht to feel something.

I love admitting when I’m wrong, because it gives me a break from always being right, like finally.

Rehab is a great place to meet people that like Piña Coladas and getting caught in the rain.

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

New COVID variant tries to sell you an extended auto warranty.

Relationship status: you’d think something called a Roomba would be a better dancer.

I feel like my greatest accomplishment today has been not saying what I’m thinking out loud.

“We’re the only species that drinks milk after infancy, dairy is bad for you!” We’re also the only species that drinks peach mango pineapple spirulina kale smoothies, Karen. Let me eat my cheese in peace.

The final act of love is not texting them happy birthday.

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Today, I’m wearing pink to raise awareness for people like me who forget to separate their red laundry from their whites.

I lost my composure in 1992. I haven’t seen it since.

They did so well traumatizing us about teen pregnancy, I’m still traumatized as an adult.

I was blinded by a goddamn deer with a shiny red nose… No, officer, I haven’t been drinking.

Activity Log ✨

Share Wordgag 🙏

Activity Log ✨

Friends come and go, like the waves of the ocean, but the true ones stay like an octopus on your face.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Calling it a situationship, and the whole time, the situation is that they don’t want you.

This summer I’m going cicada mode: emerging briefly from my house and being really loud until I find a mate.

My opinion of the American education system is largely based on how many nuggets I get when I order a ten piece.

Full-time employment will have you making lists of thoughts to think.

The woman that cleaned my house could make a lot of money by threatening to release the before and after photos.

My kids couldn’t care less about personal hygiene unless we are running late somewhere.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Share Wordgag 🙏