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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇪🇬 has downloaded:

If you’re lost in the woods, start talking loudly about politics. Someone will come to argue with you.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has viewed:

I will be posting telepathically on all social media today. So if you think of something funny, that was me.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has downloaded:

“Have AI summarize this email for you!” No thanks, I can read what the person actually said in the way they intended.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has viewed:

Mama didn’t raise no fool, I turned into one all on my own.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has bookmarked:

You wear a white shirt and all of a sudden everybody wants to go eat spaghetti.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has viewed:

If I get rid of social media, how will I know what everyone ate for dinner?

Someone from 🇪🇨 has copied:

Hate how quietly iPhones die. At 5% it should start verbally begging for its life.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has downloaded:

Single, not sure how to mingle.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has copied:

The worst thing you can do when you notice your kids are playing nicely together is telling them that they’re playing nicely together.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has bookmarked:

I concern myself with the opinions of sheep because they are cute.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

765 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,927

Funny Quotes Topics

13,899

Funny Quotes Images

10,927

35 minutes ago

3,446

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Threads:

My husband needs a hearing aid, but refuses to get one because it’s the key to our happy marriage.

Breaking via Pinterest:

My nutritionist told me wine doesn’t count as a fruit source so now I need to find a different nutritionist.

Broadcasted on Reddit:

At least I’m part of the generation that at 30 still looks like it’s in its early 20s.

Spotted on Snapchat:

No one is excited to see me in shorts except mosquitoes.

Trending via X:

What is the name of the course in medical school where you learn not to take your patients seriously?

Freshly posted on Threads:

Men used to smoke Marlboros. Now they cry when they lose their strawberry cheesecake vape.

Just landed via Telegram:

I’ve reached the age where people talk loudly and slowly to me.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

I can’t finish cleaning up my room because I get distracted by all of the cool stuff I find.

Just landed via Facebook:

You know the trouble with real life? There’s no danger music.

Live now on LinkedIn:

“It’s Raining Men” and “Let the Bodies Hit the Floor” are the same song from different points of view.

Home » Funny Abandonment Quotes

Funny abandonment quotes

New funny abandonment quotes 👇

2 months ago
Share →: Humanity was engineered as a biological weapon but left abandoned early in its development.

Commentary:
"Ah, so that's why Mondays feel like a glitch in the matrix! 😅🔧🚀"
5 months ago
Share →: Ah yes, my abandonment issues due to all the abandonment.

Commentary:
🤔 "Ah, the classic case of abandonment issues – brought to you by…well, abandonment. A true case of cause and effect at its finest! 😂 Who needs therapy when life provides such clear explanations for our quirks, right?"

For even more funny abandonment quotes, check out the next page, if available 👇

All funny abandonment quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

765 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,927

Funny Quotes Topics

13,899

Funny Quotes Images

10,927

35 minutes ago

3,439

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇭🇹 has shared:

Americans be like, “MM:DD:YY” is how you say dates verbally, and then have a national holiday called “4th of July.”

Someone from 🇳🇿 has shared:

Welcome to your 40s, you now don’t understand a single word anyone under 25 is saying.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has copied:

I am thick and tired.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has viewed:

Tonight I will make history, by turning off incognito mode.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has copied:

Stop blaming yourself for your failures. Learn astrology and blame the planets.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has shared:

“Please feel free to ignore this email!” Way ahead of you, buddy.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has copied:

I’d like to place an order for a large kiss and an extra-long hug.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has viewed:

I hate Valentine’s Day but I do enjoy infant archery.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has shared:

Toddlers: I’ve licked everything so everything is mine now.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has copied:

I wish there were an option to turn off the Wi-Fi connection for WhatsApp only.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

Shazam, but for whatever the hell goes on in the apartment upstairs.

Broadcasted on Reddit:

In my experience, bowling and pancakes have the same energy. High hopes at the beginning, lowered self-esteem at the end.

Going viral on Instagram:

Stop being so boyfriendable if you can’t be my boyfriend.

Shared recently on Twitch:

Just rolled a joint. Not to get high or anything. It was just my ankle.

Just landed via YouTube:

Before you marry a person, you should first make them use a computer with slow internet to see who they really are.

Going viral on Messenger:

And for my next trick, I will turn yesterday’s sweatpants into today’s sweatpants.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

I like to think of myself as an onion. Peel back the many layers and deep down inside you’ll find a smaller, more anxious onion.

Spotted on Twitch:

My goal in life is to not have to commit seppuku.

Just shared via LinkedIn:

If you’re reading a book in public, you better be on at least page 140 or something.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

I do not like FaceTime unless we’re best friends or I’m in love with you.

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