Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇱 has viewed:

I really think tossing and turning at night should be counted as exercise.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has viewed:

Opening the web before 9am is crazy. Like, did you even try to have a good day?

Someone from 🇷🇺 has copied:

Dear women, when you’re not around we load the dishwasher properly.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has shared:

I love ketchup from my head to-ma-toes.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has shared:

My grandad fought Germans on the beaches of Normandy. This was last summer and it was very embarrassing.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has copied:

I’m not saying I’m messy, but if Copperfield knew what I can make disappear, he’d be jealous.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has shared:

The greatest trick the devil ever pulled was making all of the food that is unhealthy for you taste so good.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has shared:

If you’re reading a book in public, you better be on at least page 140 or something.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has viewed:

Telling your parents about your problems is like adding another problem to your life.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has viewed:

Accidentally said “normal” when they asked what milk I wanted at the leftist cafe.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

234 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,503

Funny Quotes Topics

17,569

Funny Quotes Images

15,503

Updated

Jan 6, 2026

Users Online

3,627

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Telegram:

There’s no post-breakup healing process for girls. You just wake up one day and be like, “Ew,” and you’re free.

Making waves on X:

Are you a software update, because not now!

Breaking via X:

It’s important to fuel your body with essential nutrients, which can be found in cookies, chips, and candy.

Breaking via Telegram:

A babysitter is a teenager who acts like an adult while the adults go out to act like teenagers.

Making waves on Messenger:

Sex makes you happy. So I understand your dissatisfaction.

Making waves on Slack:

Love to go to hipster restaurants and eat half a grilled cheese off an old license plate.

Just shared via Twitch:

Don’t ring my doorbell unless you’re accompanied by a camera crew and holding balloons and a big check.

Just shared via TikTok:

I prefer not to think before speaking. I like being as surprised as everyone else by what comes out of my mouth.

Going viral on Twitch:

Gimme fuel, gimme fire, gimme casual attire.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

Lost my job to AI (my job was to be loudly and confidently incorrect).

Funny abandonment quotes

Funny abandonment quotes bring a lighthearted twist to a tough topic 😂💔. They turn feelings of being left behind into moments of laughter and relatable humor 🤪✨. Whether you’re moving on or just need a chuckle, these witty lines remind us that sometimes the best way to heal is with a smile 😄💬. Ready to laugh off the drama? Let’s dive into some playful wisdom! 🎉📚

New funny abandonment quotes 👇

All funny abandonment quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes
🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

93 shares on Snapchat this month:

I’m a good listener. If you’re interesting.

79 shares on Twitch this month:

If there’s ever an alien invasion, I hope it doesn’t start while I’m asleep. I hate being woken up before my alarm.

52 shares on WeChat this month:

Vote for me and I will halve the calories in chocolate.

64 shares on WeChat this month:

I just want someone who will treat me like a lady and hold the refrigerator door open for me.

45 shares on Snapchat this month:

I don’t call them exes, I call them whys.

30 shares on TikTok this month:

Nowadays an “all-nighter” means I didn’t have to get up to pee.

89 shares on Pinterest this month:

I hate being responsible for my own meals because I’ll either spoil myself or starve for most of the day.

42 shares on X this month:

Do you ever wish you could just walk away mid-conversation when you’re bored?

80 shares on Twitch this month:

I have 206 bones, 650 muscles and 50 billion cells in my body. It takes time to wake up all of them up in the morning.

22 shares on Instagram this month:

WFH is so great until you realize you’ve walked about 17 steps all day.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

18 folks are currently checking 👀

Welcome to Twitter, someone from an unhappy home will attend to you shortly.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

When old people say, “Long as you happy,” that means you’re pretty dumb.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

Don’t worry, you’ll find the lost scissors when you’ll be searching for your glasses.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

When you are in your 20s, there is going to be an urge to binge The Sopranos. it is very important that you press play.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

Currently helping my nephew look for his M&M’s that I ate yesterday.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

Mirror, mirror on the wall, who is the best thirst trap poster of them all?

15 folks are currently checking 👀

If I was a microplastic, I would simply not go in the ocean or anyone’s mouth.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

Just googled “insanity” over and over but was expecting different results.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

Not being able to teleport is continuing to be a huge inconvenience for me.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

I don’t push people away, I just do the Macarena.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

234 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,503

Funny Quotes Topics

17,569

Funny Quotes Images

15,503

Updated

Jan 6, 2026

Users Online

3,526

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇸 has copied:

Hired a financial advisor, and his first piece of advice was that I don’t make nearly enough money to justify paying a financial advisor.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has viewed:

If you smoke pot in Saudi Arabia, you risk getting stoned.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has bookmarked:

You ever get surprised by your own recurring issues? Like, come on man, I thought we were past this.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has bookmarked:

I followed a diet but it didn’t follow me back, so I unfollowed it.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has shared:

Sometimes being a woman is just trying to figure out if you’re hormonally sad, seasonally sad, or genuinely falling apart.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has shared:

I’m super lazy today. It’s like normal lazy but I’m wearing a cape.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has copied:

It’s freaking me out to think of how bad I’d look at the Met Gala.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has viewed:

Humanity was engineered as a biological weapon but left abandoned early in its development.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has copied:

That second wave of sleep after waking up too early.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has downloaded:

I sometimes have the desire to meet certain people again for the first time. Only to simply walk past them.

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via Slack:

‘Another bombshell has entered the villa!’ I say to myself as I walk in the front door of my own home.

Freshly posted on Discord:

I always knew I’d get old. How fast it happened was a bit of a surprise though.

Making waves on Instagram:

Once your parents move from “What time are you coming back” to “Are you coming back today,” you have won the war.

Shared recently on Telegram:

Just a friendly reminder folks. Don’t forget to set back your rooster this weekend.

Just shared via LinkedIn:

If you can’t look back at your younger self and realize that you were an idiot, you are probably still an idiot.

Just landed via Messenger:

Sometimes I wish I could turn down the volume on certain people.

Spreading quickly via Facebook:

Why would I go to my high school reunion? I didn’t want to be there the first time.

Trending via Twitch:

Apple juice tastes like it wants to be alcohol, but it’s too shy.

Just shared via Facebook:

I never wanted to become one of those adults who just find the music of the younger generation annoying. Nobody could have guessed that the music was just annoying.

Just shared via Facebook:

Don’t study, get slutty!

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