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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇪 has downloaded:

It’s healthy to be a little insane sometimes.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has bookmarked:

I don’t think fish should be allowed to eat other fish. I don’t know. Just seems weird. That’s like your coworker, dude.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has viewed:

It’s always a huge relief when I’m reading a list of symptoms of a deadly disease, and it says unexplained weight loss.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has copied:

Concert tickets should be 75% off if the artist is really super special to you.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has viewed:

I don’t always carry all the groceries on one arm, but when I do, my keys are in the wrong pocket.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has copied:

My cold is worse than yours because it’s happening to me.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has shared:

Dentist appointments are so weird. “Hi, nice to meet you, could you root around in my mouth for a bit?”

Someone from 🇹🇻 has downloaded:

If Spotify has taught me anything, it’s that I don’t know the correct lyrics to any of my favorite songs.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has shared:

You either have a full ketchup bottle in your house or an almost empty one. There’s no in-between.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has bookmarked:

Where do you see yourself five beers from now? What’s your five-beer plan?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2316 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,478

Funny Quotes Topics

15,183

Funny Quotes Images

12,478

Updated

43 minutes ago

Users Online

3,440

Social Media Log 💫

Breaking via TikTok:

If I were a bird, I know who I’d poop on.

Just shared via Slack:

Told someone I’m as “single as a pringle and as neato as a dorito” and they blocked me immediately.

Spreading quickly via X:

Dear deodorant manufacturers, please stop writing “72h” on your products. There are people who believe that. And they sit next to me on the bus. Always. All of them!

Live now on Messenger:

I never wanted to become one of those adults who just find the music of the younger generation annoying. Nobody could have guessed that the music was just annoying.

Live now on Instagram:

It’s Mother’s Day Eve so remember to leave out a bottle of wine for Mom when she comes down the chimney.

Going viral on WeChat:

How old were you when you realized others couldn’t see the matrix?

Just shared via TikTok:

Feeling like a bug without his rug.

Breaking via YouTube:

Until I open the wrapper and look inside it’s Schrödinger’s Kit Kat.

Spreading quickly via Telegram:

AI is that friend who is always there for you but gives terrible advice.

Going viral on Discord:

I’m so bored of being bored because being bored is really boring.

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2316 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,478

Funny Quotes Topics

15,183

Funny Quotes Images

12,478

Updated

43 minutes ago

Users Online

3,447

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇼 has viewed:

I wish I had a pair of skinny genes.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has downloaded:

I never thought I would say this, and it took me a while to come to terms, but I think I ate too much bacon.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has copied:

The closest I’ve come to mastering a martial art is figuring out how to wash my feet in the shower.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has shared:

“Why don’t you tell us anything anymore?” I’ve updated my privacy policy.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has downloaded:

Based on the amount of laundry I wash each week, I’m starting to think there are people who live here that I haven’t met yet.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has viewed:

Just so you know, what you now call an energy bar is what my father gave the canary.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has bookmarked:

IKEA is the swedish word for “relationship meltdown in a public place.”

Someone from 🇵🇪 has shared:

Just once, I’d love to underthink a situation.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has shared:

I would cry but my makeup is too expensive.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has copied:

Being a parent means hearing a noise at 3 a.m. and hoping it’s just a ghost and not your toddler getting up again.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via YouTube:

There’s something fundamentally wrong with the way people interact with each other on LinkedIn.

Seen just now on WeChat:

Hate when people ask “why is it called Silence of the Lambs?” Like, did you hear any lambs during the movie? Use your head!

Breaking via Facebook:

I was talking to someone and combined “all good” and “no worries” by saying “all worries”, which was a lot more accurate.

Spreading quickly via WhatsApp:

I secretly want you to say no when I offer you some of my cake.

Reported on X:

I never thought I would say this, and it took me a while to come to terms, but I think I ate too much bacon.

Just shared via YouTube:

Called in, “If we’re living in a simulation, just simulate that I’m in the office today.”

Going viral on Snapchat:

Partying hard on this Friday night, and by partying hard, I mean laying on my bed starfish-style.

Just shared via Discord:

It’s strange that we say time is a great healer when it kills 100% of people.

Live now on YouTube:

You don’t scare me. You’re not a parking garage that I can’t figure out how to get out of.

Going viral on Pinterest:

Love how you can hear the crowd constantly forgetting the queen died and singing “God save the Quing”

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