Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇼 has shared:

Marriage is scary, what if he doesn’t want our house to look like my Pinterest board.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has copied:

America is like that TV show that’s been on for too long, and the writers don’t know what to do, so they just make anything happen.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has downloaded:

I wonder how many different vegetables they exploded before they discovered popcorn.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has viewed:

The worst person you know is in therapy right now, being told they need to put themselves first.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has bookmarked:

I don’t understand people who say “I don’t know how to thank you.” Like they never heard of money.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has downloaded:

Establish dominance by eating a salad in front of your indoor plants.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has copied:

This morning, like every morning, he practiced his quick draw of his finger guns in the bathroom mirror, because you just never know.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has shared:

Our parents were right all along, the music is too loud.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has downloaded:

Overthinkaholic!

Someone from 🇧🇯 has shared:

I’m not lazy, I’m on power saving mode.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

243 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,512

Funny Quotes Topics

17,578

Funny Quotes Images

15,512

Updated

Jan 7, 2026

Users Online

3,530

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Threads:

My security system is just a bunch of my unpaid bills taped to my front door.

Broadcasted on Slack:

Unlike smoking, vaping doesn’t reduce your sex drive. It just reduces the sex drive of the people who see you vaping.

Trending via Snapchat:

Spoiler alert: Monday doesn’t care about your feelings.

Trending via X:

The holidays may be over by my work ethic is still out of the office.

Just shared via Twitch:

Nobody views your story faster than someone who doesn’t talk to you.

Trending via LinkedIn:

Forced to say “it’s okay” instead of throwing a chair at them.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

There’s only one way we’ll at least occasionally get normal elected officials and that’s if we pick them by random lottery.

Trending via LinkedIn:

If your name is “Guy”, you have lazy parents.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

The older I get, the more I hate making extra stops after work. I drive home like I’m late for the house.

Going bananas on WeChat:

People should come with warning labels.

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

41 shares on Twitch this month:

I love that the entire economy is just different types of scams now.

75 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I told my suitcase we wouldn’t be going on vacation this year; now it’s dead inside and I’m left with emotional baggage.

76 shares on Reddit this month:

Maturing is realizing you’re not stable enough to do mushrooms.

61 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I may be a beginner at some things, but I have a black belt in shopping.

41 shares on Messenger this month:

Welcome to downtown where the crosswalk signals are merely suggestions and you hope the puddles are water.

21 shares on Facebook this month:

Just learned in psychology that when a man goes to sleep first, it’s because he’s comfortable around you and wants you to go through his phone.

36 shares on Facebook this month:

This is an awful time to be an educated person.

10 shares on TikTok this month:

Turns out I like you a lot more than I originally planned.

54 shares on YouTube this month:

Respect people who wear glasses because they paid money to see you.

56 shares on Instagram this month:

Monday? But, I wasn’t even finished with Saturday yet.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

16 folks are currently checking 👀

My issue with Jeopardy is that you never get the sense that the contestants are in any real danger.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

Being an adult is a little out of my price range right now.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

I would definitely deny being from here if the aliens pulled up and asked. Not claiming this embarrassing planet in front of intergalactic travelers, are you dumb?

6 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m done wasting money this summer, unless you guys want to do something this weekend.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

Bro to bro: Never get your haircut on the day of a special event.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

I want to save money, but all I’m saving are memes.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

The fact that I procrastinate and still get the job done is the reason I still procrastinate.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

Some people identify as funnier than they actually are.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

If I were a billionaire, I wouldn’t build rockets to escape to Mars. I would build rockets to make everyone else leave Earth.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

Taking screenshots of the screenshots buried in my photo library to ‘bring them to the front.’ It’s not a great system, I admit.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

243 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,512

Funny Quotes Topics

17,578

Funny Quotes Images

15,512

Updated

Jan 7, 2026

Users Online

3,656

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇻🇪 has copied:

I noticed my mouse problem is back an I yelled at my cats for being lazy and not doing their job, like I was in a Tom and Jerry cartoon.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has bookmarked:

I feel like smashing my phone would be cathartic.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has shared:

Real yearners know yearning is not actually fun.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has downloaded:

Never underestimate my desire at any given moment to go home.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has downloaded:

You want me to sit in the back seat? The thing that killed JFK?

Someone from 🇫🇲 has bookmarked:

Yeah, baby, I am an animal in bed. More specifically a koala. I can sleep for 22 hours a day.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has bookmarked:

Welcome to Netflix. We have every movie but the one you actually want to watch.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has viewed:

You’re an atheist? Well, I don’t believe you. See how you like it.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has downloaded:

Welcome to your 50s, there’s a wrong way to stretch now.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has downloaded:

Elsa froze her entire kingdom instead of dealing with her feelings. I respect that level of avoidance.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Facebook:

Welcome to your 40s: it’s Saturday night so you know what that means, absolutely nothing, go to bed.

Just shared via WeChat:

Need a professional way to say, “I do not care, don’t mention this to me again.”

Just landed via Slack:

Descibe your boobs only using a picture of them.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

I have never read a Hacker News thread where any of the commenters seemed as if their life contained joy.

Shared recently on Instagram:

I have no idea how dishwasher tablets work. I’ve already taken five of them, and I still don’t feel like doing the dishes!

Seen just now on Threads:

Stop blaming everyone for your problems. Pick one person you really hate and blame them for everything.

Going viral on Facebook:

Whenever I’m with real yappers, I realize I might actually be a listener.

Spotted on Slack:

Every year, just in time for Christmas, when it’s freezing cold, the Coca Cola truck shows up. Now, in this freaking heat, it’s nowhere to be seen.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

Have a good weekend, unless you have other plans.

Freshly posted on Slack:

Bro, did you seriously just forget about Dre?

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